HELP! What time to start reception??????

bfernz

Hi Ladies,
I'm feel like I'm way overthinking this, so I thought I would ask for advice...

Church in Bronxville starts at 4:00pm -45 minute ceremony and receiving line another 15 minutes-takes us to about 5:00pm

Reception in New Rochelle ...should it start at 6:30 or 7:00pm?

I definitely want to be at my cocktail hour, but don't want to rush through pictures.
Should I go with 1.5 hours or 2 hour gap between chuch and reception?   TIA!

kristinanddan

It's less than a half hour between the church and reception hall, right? Your reception should start at 6 really. Don't punish your guests by making them wait so you can take photos and attend your cocktail hour. Either take the photos before the ceremony or miss some of the cocktail hour.

ssage

i agree with pp.  If it is a short distance from your church to the reception hall, I would be annoyed as a guest to wait that long for the reception...I would almost skip the ceremony.

mocknine

I say...don't rush through pictures and enjoy your cocktail hour!  Make the start time 6:30pm.  That will give you about an hour to take pictures, and not leave too much time for your guests to linger.  You aren't the first one to have time between your ceremony and cocktail hour.  As long as you don't have a huge bridal party, an hour should be plenty of time, and if you need a little longer you'll only run into a small portion of your cocktail hour and not miss the whole thing.

HTH!

Bat937

I would start the reception at 6.  It shouldn't take an hour for them to drive between venues.  Tell your photographer you want to get to the cocktail hour, they should have you there by 6:30.  Pictures really take no time at all.

kristinanddan

I totally understand gaps when they have to happen because the church is only available for certain times and people want nighttime receptions. I'm totally on board with that. But a gap so that you can take your photos? Absolutely not the same thing.

SandDD

I guess it depends on your guests. Last church wedding we went to, my FI was in the wedding party, so I used the time to check into the hotel, change from church to reception outfit and head to the cocktail hour.

If you've got a lot of local guests who will stop home to change or a lot of out of town guests who are heading to a hotel, I don't think a hour & a half is ridiculous.  I would do 6:30.

Plus, it also gives you a buffer room because I don't think you'll start exactly at 4, and I'm sure your receiving line will take longer than 15 minutes.

TerriandJoe

Start the reception at 6:30.

First of all, with a 4:00 ceremony - you can't guarantee that it will end promptly at 4:45. Walking down the aisle, your ceremony and walking back up the aisle will take time. and what if it starts a few minutes late? When you factor in the receiving line and bubbles (if you have them). that takes time too. And then everybody ( including you) has to get into their cars. and drive out of the parking lot.

I know it sounds obvious but it is worth considering that all of that will take time.

now everyone, including you has to drive to the reception hall. And park the car. That might take 15-20 minutes assuming nobody gets lost. But because people tend to drive slower when they are reading directions or are unfamiliar with the area. you have to figure that too.

Also, is anybody checking into a hotel in the meantime? That would take up a good chunk of time.

Even if they are not. If you went with a 6:00 time - true, you don't get any picture time, but in a perfect world would your guests get there at exact 5:55 to enjoy the entire cocktail hour. Because if you choose the 6:00 start time for cocktail hour, but your guests don't show up until 6:10, you are still paying from the 6:00 time and will only get a 50 minute cocktail hour that can be enjoyed.

Start at 6:30 - it gives yourself time yes for pictures, but it doesn't put pressure on your guests to rush. And if they know where they have to go, and are not checking into the hotel, and have already gotten you a card, and have their gas tank full, well, those guests can, I'm sure, find something to do to keep then busy for what? 45 minutes?

As an alternate, can you see if maybe your venue can open it's bar early for sparkling water for the early arrivals? so start at 6:30, but if someone shows up at 6:10 - can they maybe get a glass of iced tea or something to kill the time before the cocktail hour officially begins?

GL! HTH!

kristinanddan

Terri - while I agree with you to a degree and certainly understand what you're saying, if everything goes off perfectly, the receiving line will be over by 5. It is only a 15 minute drive. There is already an extra 45 minutes for delays built into her schedule. That's why I say 6 - 45 minutes is already long enough to wait.

TerriandJoe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_time-start-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:113Discussion:e5541c62-4dec-47c2-8232-60f9b7011f89Post:5fe8d20a-fc54-4311-b621-e3a206ae5914">Re: HELP! What time to start reception??????</a>:
[QUOTE]Terri - while I agree with you to a degree and certainly understand what you're saying, if everything goes off perfectly, the receiving line will be over by 5. It is only a 15 minute drive. There is already an extra 45 minutes for delays built into her schedule. That's why I say 6 - 45 minutes is already long enough to wait.
Posted by kristinanddan[/QUOTE]

Hey Kristin - Just wanted her to think about what if everything doesn't go perfectly, and is the ceremony going to be only 45 minutes (we were told to plan an hour). Also, we have a lot of guests who will be going home because they will have sometime to change, feed and walk  the dog, check on the kids, etc.  We have a 2:30 ceremony and 5pm cocktail hour time. And our reception hall is 10minutes away. So I was thinking in terms of our times. Which is why I suggested
6:30. However, I did ask and our venue said they would allow wedding guests to get a drink at the bar downstairs if they arrive early.
FWIW - my sister had a 1:30 ceremony and a 6pm reception! That is what I call an annoying gap! Not a mere hour.

Crissyo

Hi...I have to jump in here...Bfernz...it is totally your day and up to you.  Whatever the guests are inconvenienced by, etc is something that they will eventually get over.

I have been to plenty of weddings ( my brother's for example) where the mass is at 3 and the reception is at 7.  Yeah it was annoying, but some people didn't go to the ceremony and some people went to a bar in between and some people went to the hotel in between.  I am sure some people hated my brother for it, but guess what...it was their day and they got all their pictures done and were happy!

As far as my wedding...I also had a gap, though not as bad as my brother's...and my photographer was still not done with pictures by the cocktail hour ( which was fine with me because I didn't want to go), so you never know what is going to happen!

Your best bet is to talk to your photographer and if he is anything like mine, he will tell you 7pm.  And again..it is fine whatever you decide...it is your day.

 But I wouldn't do 6...you are making yourself stressed if you do 6...that's my opinion.

TerriandJoe

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_time-start-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:113Discussion:e5541c62-4dec-47c2-8232-60f9b7011f89Post:60bfc8c8-8f09-4fb9-8121-e74a1fa199ed">Re: HELP! What time to start reception??????</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi...I have to jump in here...Bfernz...it is totally your day and up to you.  Whatever the guests are inconvenienced by, etc is something that they will eventually get over. I have been to plenty of weddings ( my brother's for example) where the mass is at 3 and the reception is at 7.  Yeah it was annoying, but some people didn't go to the ceremony and some people went to a bar in between and some people went to the hotel in between.  I am sure some people hated my brother for it, but guess what...it was their day and they got all their pictures done and were happy! As far as my wedding...I also had a gap, though not as bad as my brother's...and my photographer was still not done with pictures by the cocktail hour ( which was fine with me because I didn't want to go), so you never know what is going to happen! Your best bet is to talk to your photographer and if he is anything like mine, he will tell you 7pm.  And again..it is fine whatever you decide...it is your day.  But I wouldn't do 6...you are making yourself stressed if you do 6...that's my opinion.
Posted by Crissyo[/QUOTE]


She's right! It's your day. Do what works best for you and your fiance!

bfernz

Wow, ladies, thank you so much for ALL of your time and input. I asked because my photog. wanted 2 hours in between. I would like people to go to the mass and I do want to be considerate of guests.  I know actual start time, receiving line, bubbles, traffic, checking in at hotel, etc. will tie up some time too. Thanks again for the input !

kristinanddan

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_new-york-hudson-valley_time-start-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:113Discussion:e5541c62-4dec-47c2-8232-60f9b7011f89Post:60bfc8c8-8f09-4fb9-8121-e74a1fa199ed">Re: HELP! What time to start reception??????</a>:
[QUOTE]But I wouldn't do 6...you are making yourself stressed if you do 6...that's my opinion.
Posted by Crissyo[/QUOTE]

Why would 6 be stresful? I'm just curious.

And I think everyone missed my original point. Gaps happen, I totally get it. We had one too. I just think it's rude to have a gap only for the purpose of taking pictures. The point of a cocktail hour is to entertain the guests while you take your photos.

Aprilfools2011

take as much time as you need. I would say plan no less then an hour and a half for pictures.  If there is a large enough gap in time between ceremony and reception, this allows guests to check into hotels if they are staying at one and some guests might go to the mass and then change before the reception.  I'm sure you paid good money for your photographer so give yourself enought time to get all the pictures you want and also enjoy your cocktail hour.  The day will go by so fast take your time and anjoy it.