Massachusetts-Boston

Need Advice!!

FI has a group of people he was friends with in HS. He is still really good friends with a lot of them, but some he only sees once or twice a year. Recently, there was some pretty serious drama between two of them. G (who we see 1 or 2 times a year) came to us and told us S (who we see about 5 times a year) had a drug problem and he ripped him off blah blah blah. This prompted an intervention type thing which essentially got S into a program and clean. However, once clean, S told us G had a problem as well, stole from him and beats up his gf. Now in the meantime, G and his gf were living out of their car (reason still unknown) so Fi and I gave him our landlord's # and he now lives in our apartments. We haven't talked to him since but we did send them a save the date. Flash forward 2 months, our landlord is telling us that he is getting complaints from neightbors that G is beating his girlfriend and there have been some other incidents with threats to neighbors. I also know that S will freak if he sees G. We kind of had no idea when we sent the STD that G has apparently gone CRAZY. We do not want him at our wedding and know there will be problems between S and G. Do we just not send him an invite and leave it at that? We haven't talked to him so I am not sure calling explaining it is an option. WWYD?

Re: Need Advice!!

  • edited December 2011
    In this particular instance- I think it's OK to break wedding-code and not send an invitation.  Given all this problems, you certainly do NOT want someone at your wedding that will cause a scene bigger than your wedding...

    I think there may be some other issues with what you've said too, however-- like perhaps you need find that girlfriend and offer her help since you know whats happening with them.  Generally speaking I would say stay away, but if one day his 'beatings' goes a little further, you certainly don't want to say you knew about it and COULD have done something about it.
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  • edited December 2011

    Thanks evs. What would be the best way to go about that? I was talking about it with another friend, and we were wondering, should we just approach her? Send her a note? or try to get the authorities involved? When they were living in the car we were trying to get her to go back to her parents. She could move back in with them and they were fine with it, he just couldn't stay there as well. She WOULD NOT leave his side. Welcoming advice on how to deal with that situation as well.

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