Coworker dilemma...

MichelleyS

I work with a group of 15 wonderful people, most of whom I've worked with for 5 years or more. I can't imagine getting married without four of them in attendance. It would be great to have the others there, especially the ones who invited me to their weddings, but we are trying to keep the wedding fairly small and inviting the others would add another 20 people (including their significant others). Inviting these 20 would also add another $2,000 to the cost of the reception!

All that to say, I don't know how to invite some coworkers without the others eventually finding out and being upset. Should I just invite them all? Or none of them? I'm having such a hard time with this!

sunflower331

That's a tough one....unless you've already told the 4 you definitely want at your wedding that they will be invited, it might just make things easier on everyone if you and your FI don't invite any co-workers and if anyone asks, you can just tell them that you're on a budget and that neither you or your FI are inviting any co-workers....

dparisi

I agree with Sunflower, but want to add that if you are not inviting them, do not constantly talk about your wedding planning.

Karen's MOH

For this reason, I opted not to invite any coworkers and it was totally fine. The other way to do it is to limit it to coworkers that you see outside of the office. If you ever meet up with these four for brunch, or dinner, or whatever, then it is a little eaiser to establish  cut off like that.

It's sort of awkward no matter how you do it, sorry. But really I think most people understand there are always space and money contraints.

emma5500

I agree that it may be awkward no matter how you handle it, but just wanted to add that you don't neccessarily need to either invite all coworkers or exclude all coworkers altogether.  It's your wedding and if you feel close to certain people you should feel free to invite them.  I am planning to invite a selected group of coworkers which will mainly be my boss and coworkers who I have spent time with outside of work.  I think if there are 4 coworkers that you absolutely want to be there on your wedding day but you can't afford to invite everyone else, go ahead and invite the 4 without inviting the others, but don't talk about the wedding at work.  If the coworkers that are invited bring up the subject of your wedding at work after they get the invitation, just privately mention to them that you only had a room for a selected group of coworkers and you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so please don't talk about it at work (but that you are excited and hope they can make it).  It sounds like these 4 are specific coworkers you are close to, so it's likely that your other coworkers know that you are close to them and would understand if they found out they were invited.

Erica1011

Most co-workers understand if they are left off of the guestlist due to budget reasons.  But one option would be to invite all 15 of your co-workers but without a guest.  I think that's totally understandable as well.

MichelleyS

Thanks for your great suggestions, ladies! This was all very helpful!