RD/OOT Guests - thoughts???

soxgal12

Sorry this is long!   We are getting married on the Sunday of Labor Day weekend.  Originally FI and I had planned to have the rehearsal dinner the night before so we could include our out of town guests as we were only expecting a small number of out of towners to be coming.  Turns out that there are now over 25 people coming from out of state, so our RD would be almost 50 people if we included our entire wedding party with guests and all of the out of town guests.  We are considering now having the RD the weekend before with the 20-25 people who are actually part of the wedding and having a more low key cocktail/light apps party either in the hotel or nearby the hotel the night before the wedding so we could have some time to spend with the out of town family/friends and be able to at least provide them with something to do.  Is it tacky if we don't do a full dinner with them the night before?  I just think having a huge RD of over 50 people will be very difficult and take away from us being able to appropriately thank and spend time with the people who are putting so much into our wedding.  Thoughts???

MCarmine

I have a lot of OOT guest coming in on the night of the rehearsal so I ran into a similar problem.

My solution: We are keeping the RD to just wedding party and immediate family. So about 25 people. However, we reserved a conference room back at the hotel where there will be pizza, apps, drinks, ect. Someone will be there to coordinate the OOT party. The rest of us will join the party after the RD.

I've run this idea by a few of my guests and they love the idea.

jwatts23

We had our RD at Cheers in Faneuil Hall.  We actually had our bridal party, our family and out of town guests.  Most of my family traveled to be with us so there was 50 people there. 

I was a little worried about it being overwhelming but it acutally played out perfectly.  We had an entire room with bar area and it was so nice to have people all together.  Everyone was able to listen to toasts and basically just mingle and have fun together.  It really set the tone for the wedding I think!

That being said, it's not for everyone.  If you are already getting overwhelmed I say do what's best for you.  I like the idea of have some sort of party for all the out of town guests and people who are there for the weekend because it gives them something to do and gives them a chance for everyone to meet beforehand.

Goodluck!

jwatts23

MCarmine - I love that idea!  A great solution and fun for everyone

MeaghanandMichael

I think this is completely fine. If you were doing nothing the night before the wedding I might urge you to do something as your WP is giving up their time to be there with you after the rehearsal. However, I understand things can get a bit hectic and pricey when inviting all OOT guests.

You can also always do something the night before for the wedding party and ask the OOT guests to join you at a lighter/smaller after party so you can welcome them in. Maybe you could have them come for dessert and champagne at say 8:00pm or something?

soxgal12

Thanks for the advice!  These ideas are all helpful.  I'll run them by FI and FMIL and hopefully have a plan soon.

jenvalet

We knew we wanted to include everyone who traveled from OOT to be with us, so we opted to have a pizza party at the hotel where we had a room block.  We rented a room, which was only $150, and then ordered pizza and salad, and brought in a cake.  It was so much fun being with everyone in a casual environment. I felt like I got to spend more time with my OOT guests there than I did for the entire wedding.

Shazzie116

We had an informal RD at my in-laws house with the wedding party, and then invited OOT guests to join us for drinks and desserts at 8. It worked out really nicely. We had time to mingle and hang out, and we hooked up the Xbox and played Rock Band which was a big hit. 

doobietala

We are going our RD with just our immediate family and bridal party (which consists of my two sisters, FI's brother and childhood friend) which will be about 20 people from 6-8pm at a restaurant.  We are then sending out invites to all of our OOT's to join us for beer/wine and passed apps at the same place (we have a separate room in the back that can accomodate up to 100 ppl starting at 8pm.

The restuarant gave us a very reasonable pp price for the dinner and the passed apps and we are keeping our beverage cost down since we are only hosting a beer and wine bar.  90% of our wedding guest are OOT's (FI and I are not from MA) so we really wanted to accomodate everyone and still not break the bank!! And it will be really nice to have another opportunity than just wedding day to visit with friends that we don't typically see!

jaceyjc

I have been to out of town weddings as a guest and if there is something else to do in the area it's really fine not going to the rd, and sometimes just easier as you don't have a timeline to follow for arrivals.  A meeting place of some sort for those guests is nice, but could be as simple as all gathering at the same bar/lounge for drinks later in the evening.

~Tuck~

doobietala - what restuarant did you do this at???  This sounds EXACTLY what I should do, as we have severatl OOT guests.