Am I overreacting?

bourque29

I just moved from Boston to Washington state where my fiance is from.  We became engaged in December of 2009 and announced our wedding date of 9/3/2011 shortly after.  My fiance's sister was just engaged this past weekend and has announced that her wedding will be approximately 2 months before ours.  I am afraid because our wedding will be taking place in Boston and now with his sisters wedding just before ours, that his side of the family may not attend considering they are all from the midwest and west coast.  I feel like this places a financial burden on them and don't quite understand why she would set a date so close to ours.  I am a very laid back person and far from the jealous type.  I don't plan on bringing up my feelings, not even to my fiance, but I just can't shake this uneasy feeling.  I don't know if I am just worrying too much or if there is anyone that would feel the same way if they were in my situation??

Hellokatie0517

I think you're worrying for the right reasons.  Most brides freak just because someone has the audacity to book so close to their wedding without a legitimate reason.  I think your concern about your guests is totally legit.  I think the best thing you can do is send out your STDs (probably sooner rather than later), so family know that they have a year to save for travel expenses.  Although, if it's family, they probably already know that your wedding is next September and are planning accordingly.  Hopefully, FIs family is very understanding and know to sacrifice a little to save for travelling to 2 weddings.  But really, it would have been nice if FIs sister would have considered the family's traveling before she set a date. 

Does she have a venue booked already? I find it odd that she is engaged just this weekend and already has a date set.  Perhaps there is still time for her to change her mind.  Maybe your FMIL could talk some sense into her and tell her that travel expenses could be quite a burden on people.  I know if that were to happen in my family that my mom would put that kibosh on it immediately regardless of whether family was traveling or not.  Two weddings in one family is a bit much I think.

megandjay

Yes. You get one day, not a whole month or a whole year. My MOH was engaged 8 months after me and planned her wedding for 2 months before me. And you know what I thought? I was happy for them.

Galaxy8227

I understand why you would feel this way but you really can't voice it to her or the family.  Like Megan said, you get one day, you can't decide when others plan theirs. 

jonchrissy

I agree with the pp. We really had little choice in our wedding date. We were engaged in January, started looking in February and many of the places were booked every Saturday through October of 2011. The place we ended up at said, we have August 13th available and we took it. It's 2 months away, not the next weekend. Most adults know how to budget and plan. It's not worth worrying about.

bourque29

That's the funny thing, she does not have a venue picked out yet.  And to set the record straight, I am very happy for her.  This has nothing to do with "raining on my parade" yada yada yada.  It simply has to do with money, and the burden I feel it will put on her family to come out to our wedding.  She called us up and said HA HA I am going to beat you guys and then came up with a date in June.  Problem is I don't know her well, I have only met her a few times and don't know what her ulterior motive is, if there is one.

jonchrissy

If she doesn't have a venue picked out yet, I REALLY wouldn't think twice. As I said in my previous post, we didn't even have a choice in our date. They might find a venue they LOVE that has an opening on the date they want, or it might be 2 months after your date.

Hellokatie0517

Another thing, she might think that she wants to get married in June, which to me seems kinda soon.  She might reconsider once she starts planning that maybe putting it off another year is best.  You never know.  Don't stress over it especially since there is nothing set in stone.

megandjay

Sorry, I took it like you thought she was raining on your parade- and even if she is, you need to be the bigger person and not let it get to you.
As PPs said, you can only control your wedding. Send out Save the Dates early, and make your wedding day special. Don't let her get into a competition, keep your plans close to yourself and your FI. She may not even be able to pull it together for next spring.