Hmmm....

AlwaysABridesmaid...

A few months ago a woamn at work pulled me aside and said "I know I am not invited to your wedding and it's ok, I completely understand but I really want to get you something so I would like to organize a work shower for you" VERY VERY sweet but a little odd because her and I have a had a few issues and I always got the impression that I wasn't her favorite person. I am inviting very few people from work, and quite honestly she would not have been on our list because of some of these issues. But no complaints. It's very sweet and I appreciate that she wants to contirbute. FI and I are on a pretty tight budget because we are paying for most of the wedding ourselves but we budgeted for about 250 ppl (large families). So flash forward a few months and she is in the full swing of planning. The shower is this friday. She has been planning it with some of my work friends and I keep hearing how extravagant she is making it and how she is paying for everything and won't let anyone help financially. Again very sweet. But I have had a few people come up to me who have some experience with this woman and they said that a similar thing happened about 10 years ago and it ended up that this woman BEGGED to be invited to the wedding. Like practically harrassed her and then mentioned how she put a lot of work into the shower and so on. Now I am getting nervous. I tend to fold with confrontation. We have 250 place settings/ chair covers and 257 people on our potential guest list. I know I would be only adding 2 people but I am already so stressed about the number of people. So my questions is..... Do I just add her now and put myself more over?... Do I wait for her to confront me and then either A) explain again that we are on a tight budget or Just give in and tell her she can be invited?

smilecrazy8

I think if you agreed with her and made it clear you were on a tight budget that she needs to understand that. She said she understood when she said she wanted to plan a shower for you. I would get her a thank you gift as well as a nice hand written note for putting all the work into it. But if she tries to plead with you to be invited, stand firm. This is your wedding and you don't need that extra stress. She walked into it knowing the situation.

jonchrissy

I say stand your ground and let her know you don't have the space/budget to include her. I would even say you're already worried about too many people coming.
In real life, I'm a big baby too and might give in. Try and stand your ground!

AlwaysABridesmaid...

Thanks ladies. I was going to send her flowers and give her a hand written note after the shower.

snoangel79

I think you made it clear but wow that's very odd! I'd be skeeved out by the whole situation!! In fact I was weirded out when some lady at my work asked when invites were going out (um I have hardly talked to you lady! wt heck!).

jholt1287

Weddings really bring out some odd behaviors in people.  Do not do anything to stress yourself out - I agree with the others, let her know how much you appreciate everything and how it means a lot to you.  Most times, people just want appreciation for their good gestures.

[Deleted User]

that is odd??  If she wants to throw you a shower and you have explained that you're on a budget and you don't want to go over, than her planning the shower is on her. I wouldn't think about it. As women we tend to over think and over do everything.....case in point some woman throwing you a shower.

Sometimes we need to just let things be, like a tree sway and bend with the breeze.

So if you already explained your situation then let her do what she is going to do.

Hope this helps.