Changing my last name

dovesweet07

I'm not completely set on changing my last name when we get married, but FI would like us to have the same name. I'm still not convinced, but I guess I'll do it. But I don't really want to do it right away especially because of all the work that goes into it. So my question is.... can I put my new married name on the marriage license, and then take my sweet time actually doing the name change process? Is there a certain period in which I have to do it? I'll prob do it within a year or so...

Hellokatie0517

If you're going to change your name, I would do it sooner rather than later.  Yeah, it may be a hassle, but it can be confusing for people.  I would bite the bullet and get it done right after the wedding.  Plus, if you slowly change the name on accounts and stuff, it might cause problems because nothing matches up.  That's my guess.

bostonbride214

your maiden name goes on your marriage licence, as you apply for it while you are engaged. your official name change takes place AFTER you are married when you pick up your official marriage license then at the social security office then you would update your license at the RMV, bank accounts, bills etc

I've had friends that didn't change their name, others that insisted that they needed to take their H's last name and still others that waited years to officially change their name --- yes it gets confusing and causes more issues if you wait, but you also need to do it when you are ready...GL!

noodle_oo

If you don't want to change your name, don't do it.  Just because it is important to your FI that you have the same last name doesn't mean that he should be able to tell you what to do with your name.  Sure it will be harder, but wait and see how you feel after you are married and then decide if you want to do it then.

I am in a similar situation to you.  I never wanted or planned to change my name and I sort of thought my FI knew it.  Well, it is more important to him than I thought it was.  I struggled long and hard with the decision, I even considered doing it just to make him happy.  However, in my gut, I knew I didn't want to.  We discussed it and though I know he is still not happy about it, I can't do something I don't want to do and he understands.  We'll revisit the topic when we decide to have children.

Women are taught by society to compromise to make other people happy.  We need to learn to stand up for what we want.  If you don't want to change your name, then you should not have to do it just to make your FI happy.  Think about your decision and do what YOU want.  If you decide to do it anyway, that's fine, but make sure it is your decision not his.

PS.  If your FI really wants you guys to have the same name, ask him to take yours.  Look at his reaction (I'm pretty sure he'll say no way).  Then think about whether you should have to do something that he is not willing to do just because you are the woman.

alimcjohnson

I'm not weighing in on whether you should do it or shouldn't do it, but I will say if you are going to do it, it's a lot easier to write your new name in your marriage license.  My friend wasn't sure if she wanted to hyphenate or not so she waited and now (because she didn't write the hyphenated name on her marriage  certificate) she has to go before a judge and request the name change just like anyone would have to if they wanted to change their name for a reason other than marriage.  It's been a real hassle and I think she wishes she just wrote it in on the license at this point.

dovesweet07

So i looked this up on the Social Security website, and it looks like i can do it within 2 years of obtaining the marriage license and after that they may ask for additional documentation (not sure what that would be). I think I might just put my FI's last name on the marriage license and do the name change when i get around to it.

cdlnmf

My original plan was to wait to change my name also, but not only does it get more confusing, but I was told that things can actually end up costing money. I guess a recent marriage certificate allows name changes and new cards for things without the fee's that you'd get afterwards. Its like, the only free way to change your name. That being said, if you're positive you're going to change it at SOME point, why not just do it earlier and avoid the hassle. I wasn't set on the idea either, so I legally will be hypenated but socially will just use my own name until I feel like using them both.

jacquikev

I believe that you have a certain amount of time to change specific documents for free. After that they charge you.