Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!

leto2010

Hello all!

This place is great, but it's giving me the shivers! I see people start planning a year ahead!!!
 I'm getting married on August 29, and NOTHING is planned. It wasn't meant to be so last-minute, of course, but a lot of logistics got in the way!
And now, I'm in a foreign country (Italy), trying to plan a wedding in a month! I am also a galaxy away from the location (we're in Sicily, and the wedding is in the extreme north of Italy!) To compound the problem (as if that were possible), we're in a small town with extremely limited connectivity to the one big city in the area!

The only thing we are sure of is the date - August 29 (we don't have a choice, because of work schedules);
The location - a vineyard;
The theme - Love and wine, of course (Food and wine are what brought us together)

Everything else - from the invites to the decor to the colour scheme to menu...nothing is done!
We want to have a fun, quirky wedding with good food and good wine. I really want to incorporate small, fun details into the day - any ideas on anything are not only welcome, but desperately needed!!!

Help!!!

danieliza1127

Well it sounds like you need to get invitations out ASAP.  If you were in the States, I'd say go pick up some invites at Target or Michaels and just send them out, but you're in Italy so what are your options? 

Are you inviting people from the States?  Will they be able to come on such short notice?

MissLeahM

Have you thought of hiring an event coordinator? Or a wedding planner?

Good luck!

aragx6

You say "location: a vineyard." Do you have one chosen and booked?

Do you know who you're inviting? Invitations need to go out like yesterday.

Stackeye210

What are the most important things to you?  You need to prioritize to get anything done.  First - send out the invites (LIKE TODAY!)

Second - contact the venue for food and drinks

Third - ceremony - do you have an officiant? 

Those 3 things will make the wedding - the rest are just details that you can choose to have or not have in your wedding.  Get these things done and then prioritize after that what details are most important from there (cake, flowers, centerpieces, decor, menus, escort cards, programs). 

AmoroAgain

Dude, have you even gone through all the legal crap you have to, in order to get married in Italy?  My H and I were living in Italy for the past 2.5 years, and we decided not to get married there because it was such an enormous hassle.   Also, have you contacted the vineyard at all?  Or sent invites to people in the US??  I think you should just delay this sucker. 

mattycam

I would look into getting a wedding planner especially since you are a month away from getting married and don't really have much done.

All the best!

AmoroAgain

I just... don't see this happening in the leas,t having dealt with the Italian systems.  I need OP to come back here and explain this stuff.

brilibby4

While planning in a month is probably doable, I would push back the wedding if I were you.  Why not get married next summer instead? 

leto2010

Yes, we've just sent 'save the dates'. Really JUST sent - last weekend. Of course, it was by email

I know we have to get the invites out, but it just feels so sad to give up on how nicely you would like to do it, and rush something that people will toss in the trash
(I wanted to do handwritten)
And no, I don't know of any serve-all store thatr I can just pick stuff up from.

Any nice idea about a DIY invite that I could do quick (our guest list is small - around 80, so no more than 40-odd invites)?

leto2010

Yes, we've spoken to the vineyard, this week itself. The only things is we're still haggling about the covered space they're willing to give.
Considering the unpredictable weather these days, we have to have provisions for rain!

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-planning-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00194047-c194-4623-8ce0-048cb2146f45Post:5e223e30-0ccf-4359-b6b4-e6f81133bfa2">Re: Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Yes, we've just sent 'save the dates'. Really JUST sent - last weekend. Of course, it was by email :) I know we have to get the invites out, but it just feels so sad to give up on how nicely you would like to do it, and rush something that people will toss in the trash :( (I wanted to do handwritten) And no, I don't know of any serve-all store thatr I can just pick stuff up from. Any nice idea about a DIY invite that I could do quick (our guest list is small - around 80, so no more than 40-odd invites)?
Posted by leto2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Well, what did you think was going to happen when you leave it until a few weeks out?  You're up shitcreek, without exception.  If you want it to be "nicer", then you know, you need to PLAN this stuff.

</div>

Stackeye210

SOS is right...this is going to be a disaster.  You want everything perfect, and not rushed, but yet you wait until the month before your wedding to start planning?  Are you real? 

georgia_bride09

leto, I think you need to read Amoro's posts. Her questions are probably the most valid here. Can you even get married in Italy?

How many of your guests would have to fly to Italy from the US? If I'd just found out, it'd be a no-go.

MissLeahM

Is there a reason you HAVE to get married next month? Why not put it off for a couple of months or a year?

leto2010

Amoro, I wish I could delay it...I can't! And yes, it isn't easy in Italy, but at least on the legal front, we seem to be okay. So far. It helps that the fiance is Italian

The problem is with the resources at hand...there aren't any!!! Searches on Google for local resources - craft shops, idea stores, places for little finds - really yield nothing
Thank you, though, for the responses.

Prioritise, prioritise, prioritise...that's what I have to do! It's just so damn difficult giving up on all the little things you know you wanted to do/have!

georgia_bride09

Also, who does handwritten invites? What does that even mean?

georgia_bride09

Why can't you delay your wedding to have the one you want?

danieliza1127

It sounds like the only things you can do are just get the venue, food, and drinks nailed down and get invitations out asap, even if they're just pretty e-mail Evite.com invitations.  Being in Italy, there's no way for us to suggest decor or things like that because we wouldn't know where to tell you to go and you don't have enough time to order things online.  I would just go with the natural decor of the winery and maybe use whatever they have on hand that they can offer.  Maybe contact a florist and get some basic arrangements or flowers, and be done with it.  Enjoy a beautiful day in Italy.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-planning-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00194047-c194-4623-8ce0-048cb2146f45Post:062c87c6-9d31-4ca6-bdb9-03b3c4c529a6">Re: Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Amoro, I wish I could delay it...I can't! :( And yes, it isn't easy in Italy, but at least on the legal front, we seem to be okay. So far. It helps that the fiance is Italian :) The problem is with the resources at hand...there aren't any!!! Searches on Google for local resources - craft shops, idea stores, places for little finds - really yield nothing :( Thank you, though, for the responses. Prioritise, prioritise, prioritise...that's what I have to do! It's just so damn difficult giving up on all the little things you know you wanted to do/have! :(
Posted by leto2010[/QUOTE]<div>Yeah, I'm aware of this.  Hence the other reason why we didn't do it there.  And it's insanely expensive.  Where is this happening?  I lived in N. Italy, in Modena.  But honestly, you just need to suck it up and delay or just have it rushed.  That's it.  I don't think you can even get a freaking florist at this point. 

</div>

AmoroAgain

http://travel.state.gov/law/citizenship/citizenship_754.html <-- to make your marriage valid in the US.

parker624

sooo confused. . .

how are people supposed to get to italy for your wedding if they just found out about it and it is in a month?

mrs_p2b

MUD, MUD, glorious MUD

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-planning-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00194047-c194-4623-8ce0-048cb2146f45Post:89c043db-9dbb-4cf3-ab5e-b2a10eba3c93">Re: Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]MUD, MUD, glorious MUD
Posted by mrs_p2b[/QUOTE]

<div>Man, I hope so, because if it's not... I have not very nice things to say about this OP</div>

twilight.rose

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-planning-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00194047-c194-4623-8ce0-048cb2146f45Post:e97c3f38-62fd-403f-bd10-2c2cbbf03e9f">Re: Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]sooo confused. . . how are people supposed to get to italy for your wedding if they just found out about it and it is in a month?
Posted by parker624[/QUOTE]
Agreed. Regardless of the fact that it will be extremely difficult to pull together all the DIY personal touches you seem to want in such a short period, travel arrangements are going to be a nightmare for your guests. You really need to give them more than a month to plan for a trip...what if people would have like to extend their stay into a longer family vacation after your wedding, etc.?

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Yeah, I don't see many of those 80 people attending. If any single one of them has to get a passport, count them out.

If you haven't asked anyone to be in your wedding party, don't have a wedding party. You'll have enough trouble finding something for you and your finace to wear. I would look for non-traditional clothing - cocktail dresses, white evening dresses, vintage dresses, and things you can buy off the rack. Perhaps use a local florist/flower shop/store that sells flowers. If you can get fresh flowers, put them together yourself.

Things to not worry about:

ceremony deocrations
programs/menues/any paper other than invitations
favors
limo/transportation (just rent a car or use your own)

You definitely need to get invitations out, get attire, book an officiant, order rings and secure your location ASAP.

Now, I DO know someone who planned a wedding (and had a dress made for her) in 6 weeks. However, she was not living in a foreign country and did not have guests traveling overseas.

romastylist

I hope this does not come off rude but this is my experience and those of a few friends.  

First, I am an American recently married to an Italian living in Italy before and after. The legal side which seemed straight forward, took 4 months to get sorted as each office will tell you that you need something different, ESPECIALLY if you want to stay and live in Italy. We did all the paperwork here and I speak Italian myself which is helped greatly.  Sadly, it is harder to get married in Italy if you are marrying a EU citizen than it is if both of you are non EU. 

However, that is not my main concern... You are trying to plan a wedding in Italy in August. I am not sure about the north (Amoro would be better help with this) but what is going to be open for you as far as vendors to get things booked. I myself work with weddings in Italy for my career and I am "closed" for 3.5 weeks in August. I also know that a lot of other suppliers are on holiday as well or at least during the time you will be needing them for planning. 

I would say to have a "very open mind" for all of this and realize that is not going to be your perfect wedding. There is no way that can be done in Italy in this short amount of time. (I am sure your fiance would agree) 

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reception-planning-sos?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00194047-c194-4623-8ce0-048cb2146f45Post:0a8f8e5d-8fbb-43bf-b575-9b95f18595b3">Re: Reception Planning SOS - Help!!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I hope this does not come off rude but this is my experience and those of a few friends.   First, I am an American recently married to an Italian living in Italy before and after. The legal side which seemed straight forward, took 4 months to get sorted as each office will tell you that you need something different, ESPECIALLY if you want to stay and live in Italy. We did all the paperwork here and I speak Italian myself which is helped greatly.  Sadly, it is harder to get married in Italy if you are marrying a EU citizen than it is if both of you are non EU.  However, that is not my main concern... You are trying to plan a wedding in Italy in August. I am not sure about the north (Amoro would be better help with this) but what is going to be open for you as far as vendors to get things booked. I myself work with weddings in Italy for my career and I am "closed" for 3.5 weeks in August. I also know that a lot of other suppliers are on holiday as well or at least during the time you will be needing them for planning.  I would say to have a "very open mind" for all of this and realize that is not going to be your perfect wedding. There is no way that can be done in Italy in this short amount of time. (I am sure your fiance would agree) 
Posted by romastylist[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yeah, Italians are never straightforward about the process.  This person is either fake or insane.</div><div>
</div><div>Yeah, closed.  I had a friend who got married in the beginning of August, so it wasn't too horrible.  But yup.  Closed, closed closed.  Especially place in the cooler areas.

</div>

leto2010

I am actually trying to talk to my fiance about seeing if there's anything we can do, but at the moment, it looks bleak. Honestly, it has to do with his family, and there's only that many times I can moan about it. Their solution is - do it in a restaurant like everyone does (where all you have to do is look into the menu and do your printed stuff and 'bonboniere')
Really, Amoro - it IS unreal. But then, I have no exoerience with wedding planning, and I'm getting to know things I never even knew existed. North is Piemonte - Lago d'Orta.

Romastylist, you are right, a lot of things are closed in Italy in August. I'm getting my fiance's mum to go speak to the local florist there today. If there are any other little tips you have from your experience in Italy...even big stores or online resources...would be very grateful. I'm in Sicily now, so my shopping, if any, would have to be here or online.

As for guests, it's mostly his (large!) family, friends and our common friends. The few old friends that I have coming are the ones who agreed! That and my brother, is about it.

I'm slowly realising that just CANNOT pull my 'perfect wedding' off in a month

leto2010

P.S. Handwritten invites - yes, really! I would like to do that. Probably the only 'personal' touch that I have time for