Just curious...what would you have done?

ECI1151

Okay, so FI and I went to a food tasting at our venue last night! We still havn't signed to contrct because the deposit was a little higher then my parents (who are paying for the wedding) were expecting. Well good news! We talk to them last night and they are going to allow us to make the first deposit in payments over three months so we are going Friday afternoon to sign the contract!! We are sooooo excited!

We had told the people at the venue that the date we wanted for our wedding was April 28th, 2012. Well, last night at the food tasting another couple was there to look at the venue and as we were leaving the coordinator (who we have already met with several times) pulled us aside and said that this other couple wanted our exact same date and they seemed pretty serious about signing a contract with in the next fews day but she wanted to let us know first since we had already said that was the day we wanted. Well, my FI and I talked about it and decided that if that date was taken by the time we sign our contract then we would just move it up to April 14th or back to May 12th. (other days in April and May wouldn't work due to other obligations)

So, today when I talked to the owner of the venue about some questions I had with the contract and set up a time to come sign it she was asking me about the date again and said that April 28th was a really sentimental date for this other couple and they had a really sweet story to go with it. Basically, she was trying to see if even though FI and I were going to end up signing our contract first, if we would consider another day so the other couple could have the 28th.

I decided that May12th would be fine as well and we would just go with that date since the 28th had no sentimental value to us. It was just a time of year that we liked. I just tried to put myslef in the other peoples position and thought that I would really appreciate it if someone did that for us if it were the other way around. Plus, I'm hoping that being nice will bring us good karma and beautiful weather on our day in May FI agreed to the day in May but he was a little more annoyed then I was about the situation and I think if it would have been totally up to him he would have gone ahead and booked it on the 28th like we had planned.

I was just wondering what other people would have done? Go ahead and have it on the 28th because it's first come, first serve and we had been looking at that date first anyways or move it back to May like we are doing?

JenGin74

I think what you did was very nice. I would have done the same if the date had no special meaning.

AdeleDazeem

Hmm... I think that as long as the other dates were just fine, I'd go with them.

We were considering two dates for our wedding.  We picked one of them, but had the coordinator told us that someone else really wanted that date, I think I would have happily taken the other (which was two weeks later) because it truly didn't matter to me.

It's nice to be a nice person.

Calypso1977

i would have taken the date i wanted.  but i dont get "date attachment" so i wouldnt have been as understanding towards the other couple because i simply dont get having to have a certain date  because its when you  met, etc.

bellebride116

That's really sweet of you guys to move your date for this other couple. Did you speak to the other couple? I always have it in the back of my mind that most venues are pigs and would make something like this up just to secure another wedding... but that's just my sick twisted mind. Still, if the date didn't matter all that much to you then that's super sweet of you guys to move it. I don't know what I would have done in your shoes... I guess it depends how set on the date we were. If we weren't all that set then I probably would have moved it as well. 

[Deleted User]

Here's my take: The venue is pressuring you to give them money and make sure they get your business! Do not fall for it. Wait as you had planned and if the date is available, great. If not, you have a back up.

sister2groom

You didn't sign the contract right away, if the couple wanted the date that badly at that particular venue, they would have signed immediately, she probably told them another couple was thinking about their date too. I think it was marginally inapropriate for the owner to ask you to move your date.

When in doubt, go with what your FI wants, not some random couple that may or may not have a cute story (different people have different definitions of sentimental). Unless one of their parents has 6 months to live, so they wouldn't live to a May wedding.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-curiouswhat-would-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00db1f16-2a65-420a-b80c-78eb30c0aac1Post:00ab92c1-63f1-43ea-9537-54c181c16884">Re: Just curious...what would you have done?</a>:
[QUOTE] I'm weird and I REALLY wanted to get married in October for like, ever,
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

I really REALLY wanted to get married in April.  REALLY. 

You're not weird!

ECI1151

I thought about it being a scare tactic but the only reason I don't think it is, is that the venue is not making anymore money by us deciding to do it on a different date. Since we hadn't signed a contract or anything there are no fees for switching to a different date or anything. Everything is the exact same price as it would have been on the 28th as it will be on May 12th.

eshaufle

Honestly, the first thing I thought of was that this was a scare tactic.  Yes, the venue does not gain money on you guys switching your date in itself, however, they would probably lose the other couple's business if you didn't switch it if that couple wanted that date.  See what I'm saying? 

Whether there was really a sentimental reason behind why the wanted that date may or may not be true.  It could be true though that they were just trying to fill in 2 dates instead of just 1.

I hope I'm wrong but I do think what you're doing is nice.  I still might have just kept the date we wanted though.

lyndausvi

I would have done the same thing you did.

I'm glad they worked with your over the deposit. 

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-curiouswhat-would-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:00db1f16-2a65-420a-b80c-78eb30c0aac1Post:9505c014-03a8-403e-8d2d-d7a45a3a6a47">Re: Just curious...what would you have done?</a>:
[QUOTE]I thought about it being a scare tactic but the only reason I don't think it is, is that the venue is not making anymore money by us deciding to do it on a different date. Since we hadn't signed a contract or anything there are no fees for switching to a different date or anything. Everything is the exact same price as it would have been on the 28th as it will be on May 12th.
Posted by ECI1151[/QUOTE]


However, the couple might have gone to a different venue if their date was taken, if the date was more important to them than the venue. So in this instance, it works out well for the venue because they booked two weddings this week, rather than just one.

lyndausvi

Let's not forget the venue normally requires a 1/3 deposit on the day of signing.    The OP could not get the money together until Jan/Feb which would have allowed the other couple time to book anyway. 

As it is the venue is working with the OP and allowing them to have a payment plan. 

So the venue gets 2 weddings, the OP gets the venue secured without waiting until Feb and the other couple gets the date they want.

I think it's a win-win all around.

ECI1151

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-curiouswhat-would-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:00db1f16-2a65-420a-b80c-78eb30c0aac1Post:fe774cc7-08a7-456e-8133-abd749383325">Re: Just curious...what would you have done?</a>:
[QUOTE]Honestly, the first thing I thought of was that this was a scare tactic.  Yes, the venue does not gain money on you guys switching your date in itself, however, they would probably lose the other couple's business if you didn't switch it if that couple wanted that date.  See what I'm saying?  Whether there was really a sentimental reason behind why the wanted that date may or may not be true.  It could be true though that they were just trying to fill in 2 dates instead of just 1. I hope I'm wrong but I do think what you're doing is nice.  I still might have just kept the date we wanted though.
Posted by eshaufle[/QUOTE]

Yea, I agree that it is a very good possibility that they were trying to find a way to ensure that both of us booked dates there. And I guess in the end we will never really know. I did see them talking to the other couple so I know there actually is another couple but I only know from what the coordinator and owner have told me about the date being sentimental.
 
But, on the bright side it will be warmer in May then in April (even though its only two weeks different GA weather is crazy and changes hourly it feels like sometimes lol) and the ceremony is outside under a huge oak tree with lots of rose bushs around so everything should be in bloom by the time we get married!

And I agree with what PP said, At this point I'm just so happy that we can book it sooner rather then later that I'm not so upset about having to pick a different date!

m1schlueter

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_just-curiouswhat-would-done?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:00db1f16-2a65-420a-b80c-78eb30c0aac1Post:f734b978-12c2-4ac1-8e6f-13f42aaf0b39">Re: Just curious...what would you have done?</a>:
[QUOTE]Let's not forget the venue normally requires a 1/3 deposit on the day of signing.    The OP could not get the money together until Jan/Feb which would have allowed the other couple time to book anyway.  As it is the venue is working with the OP and allowing them to have a payment plan.  So the venue gets 2 weddings, the OP gets the venue secured without waiting until Feb and the other couple gets the date they want. I think it's a win-win all around.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I agree. If she waited until Jan/Feb like she thought she was going to have to (when the venue said they wouldn't budge on policy), she could have lost all three of her preferred dates.

This way, they did a nice thing for the other couple (but I would want to hear the sweet story), got the payment plan her parents needed and a date from their preferred date list.

mandysmear

May 12th is my birthday.  So I think you did the right thing

PharmacyBride

I believe doing good deeds makes a difference in the end and I can tell by the way you write that you care about others... so this sort of thing sounds perfect for you too.

Even if the venue did lie to you- you don't know this.  If the date truly means something to that couple.. then you did an amazing thing for them.  Besides... more buisness for your venue is a good thing!!! The economy has hit everyone and I like the idea of my vendors staying fulling booked so they don't have to start making cuts in their staff or services.

PS.. I would have done the same thing.. and if you apply this type of flexibility to the rest of your planning.. you are going to have a great engagement!

Congrats!

EDIT:  I just want to add that my venue had a major deposit requirement too..  (10% at booking and 50% 6 mo prior to the date)... I can't tell you how great it was to get that out of the way.  While it is better to keep your own money longer as far as investing and flexibility in canceling is concerned.. it worked out great for DH and I!!  We got our bonuses a month before the money was due.. so it kept us from being tempted to spend it on other things.  So in the end.. we loved that half our venue bill was already taken care of!

srkropf

I think you did and AWESOME thing for someone you don't know-- kudos. I was actually in a situation of the other couple in your story. We're getting married at a glass chapel in AR and there was one person ahead of us and she almost pick our date-- and there was already a wedding on that day and max of 2 a day. However, we had talked about an hour before waiting for the office to open and June 4th is special to me because it would be my grandma's birthday and it's the 1st Saturday in June, which is when they got married. So she picked another date and we got ours!

courtski2004

A similar thing happened to us, but we didn't change our date. Once we knew we were in the running with two other couples, we wrote the check and secured our date. It initially felt like the venue was being shady, but either way--they would be getting a deposit--if not from me, then from the other couple. If the venue wouldn't have been available, we would have gone elsewhere. I had just run into too many of my top choice venues being booked before I found this one.
Kudos to you for being so flexible and changing your date!! You are certainly the exception to the rule

Cynthia1207

I wanted a very specific date for my wedding because it has sentimental value to me.  If I knew someone else had gone and booked KNOWING the fact that I really wanted a specific date I'd have been really disappointed.  You did a great thing by moving your date to accommodate the other couple. 

I don't think this is a scare tactic.  Sure the venue wants to have every possible day booked so yeah I guess they were trying to convince you to change your date but really if it doesn't matter to OP then what's the big deal?  Venue gets 2 dates booked, other couple gets the day they want and OP gets the venue she wants.  Win, win, win!