Wedding Etiquette Forum

Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)

I hardly ever lie to my mom, just because she's nosey enough to find out the truth anyway (see mother post below) and because I just don't have the energy half the time. I get chided by my siblings for being brutally honest to my mom, because she can cry at the drop of a hat and her feelings get hurt if you try to talk using any form of sanity once she goes off on one of her BSC tirades.

I lied through my teeth when my mom asked how much my wedding dress cost. For one, she makes dresses, and could have made mine for probably $100 or less. She also has the uncanny ability to make perfect dresses for everyone on earth EXCEPT me. I swear it. I think it's some sort of passive aggressive powerhold.

I had every intention of letting her make my dress, until I found my dress. I just fell in love with it and wanted it, and could afford it. My mother also lives perpetually in 1960 with regard to how much she thinks things should cost. If you give over $200 for a wedding dress you are out of her mind in her world. NO WAY was I telling her I paid almost 5X that for a dress.

She took my dress and cleaned it/repaired some beading, and she just called and asked how much I gave for it. I repeated my original answer of $150, and she said, "Oh good! I want to sell it to a girl at my church who needs a dress, and that's her budget!"

FML. Now what do I do? I told her I was selling it, but didn't say I was going to ask at least $300 for it. Now I can't tell her I don't want to sell it. I'm damn sure not selling it to some girl at her church, which is full of people who freakin take advantage of her all the time for dresses and alterations.

Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)

  • Say something about how sentimental you feel and you want to keep it, at least for now.
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  • Can you lie (again, ugh the web of lies), and tell her you got an offer for $300 for it from someone on TK? I'm sure one of us would be glad to provide an email for proof :) haha
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  • Just say you'd like to keep it for a while longer. Tell her you're not ready to sell it yet, or that you want to reconsider whether or not to sell it.

    You have 2 daughters, one of them is 17. You can totally get away with this.
  • I second lying a second time, saying you got an offer from someone else.  And if it comes out later that you didn't sell your dress, just tell her the deal fell through, and you forgot about the other girl.
  • I was going to say NightSprite's suggestion, that when you really thought about it you'd rather save it for one of your daughters or something.

    But Gina has a good idea, too if you really do want to sell it :)
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  • "Mom, thanks but I have someone in mind who will buy it.  By the way, a friend of mine will be stopping by your house tomorrow.  She paid me $4 for your winter coat."
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reasons-not-lie-mother-long-ljp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:01a8e52c-3327-4b54-8f36-50c78b7c9252Post:cde7f560-b55e-48fa-8603-2452d162d686">Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)</a>:
    [QUOTE]"Mom, thanks but I have someone in mind who will buy it.  By the way, a friend of mine will be stopping by your house tomorrow.  She paid me $4 for your winter coat."
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    Bahaha, I like this idea!

    Or, whoever said faking a sale on TK sounds good too.  Someone can come up with a dramatic email about how it's the perfect dress and she'll pay double what you did blah blah blah.
  • Ha banana! She'd tell me she has change for the $4. She'd give you the shirt off her back, literally. I get it, but at the same time people take advantage of her all the time.

    I just called her and told her I'm putting it on eBay to see how high the bids will go and if it doesn't sell I'll let that girl buy it. She then suggested I let the girl borrow it for the day, and she'll undo all the alterations and then I can sell it. Um, no. I'm not going to try to sell a twice-worn dress. Once-worn is bad enough!
  • I also volunteer myself to send you a really melodramatic and desperate PM BEGGING for the dress :) IF that helps your case at all haha. ... this post may or may not make me an awful person :( sowwy
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reasons-not-lie-mother-long-ljp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01a8e52c-3327-4b54-8f36-50c78b7c9252Post:627e437e-47f1-47e6-8f14-b2fbbc035017">Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ha banana! She'd tell me she has change for the $4. She'd give you the shirt off her back, literally. I get it, but at the same time people take advantage of her all the time. I just called her and told her I'm putting it on eBay to see how high the bids will go and if it doesn't sell I'll let that girl buy it. She then suggested I let the girl borrow it for the day, and she'll undo all the alterations and then I can sell it. Um, no. I'm not going to try to sell a twice-worn dress. Once-worn is bad enough!
    Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

    I would have done the same thing. My mom may have gotten a little peeved, but she would let it go eventually and I would avoid the topic with her from then on.
  • I volunteer to send you an email offering you $300 for your dress.
  • Well, I'm already on her bad side because she declared Sunday that I'm going to start coming to her southern baptist church and bringing my heathen girls because she got a new, young preacher who can help bring me back to the Lord.

    I probably could have better explained that I will not be attending her church rather than, "When the real hell really freezes over, I'll go back to a real batshitcrazy southern baptist church, Mom."

    Worst. Daughter. Ever.
  • hmmmm. I'll send you a check for $300, and then you turn around and send me back $150.. then I'll disappear and the check will bounce.... nevermind...
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  • I'm not putting my dress on Craig's List either, Sarah!
  • But Bec, think about your girls!  I mean, it's bad enough that you've turned to such heathen ways and forsaken the Lord, but to force your girls into heathen-ism.  Shame on you!  SHAME!
  • I really thought this post was going to be about you catching Manda in a bad lie. Glad it's not! 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reasons-not-lie-mother-long-ljp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01a8e52c-3327-4b54-8f36-50c78b7c9252Post:0d1fa423-35f9-4c7a-810c-3aa28abebdb2">Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)</a>:
    [QUOTE]Well, I'm already on her bad side because she declared Sunday that I'm going to start coming to her southern baptist church and bringing my heathen girls because she got a new, young preacher who can help bring me back to the Lord.
    Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

    She obviously doesn't know that you attend the church of BYOB, right? Isn't that what it's called?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_reasons-not-lie-mother-long-ljp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:01a8e52c-3327-4b54-8f36-50c78b7c9252Post:b8173816-d155-4730-9342-0b51263a6ca7">Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP)</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Reasons not to lie to your mother (Long LJP) : She obviously doesn't know that you attend the church of BYOB, right? Isn't that what it's called?
    Posted by vallyhoo[/QUOTE]

    <div>I used to go to church every Sunday until I realized it was seriously impairing my ability to go to brunch. So then I just started saying I attend the Church of Brunch. It's the most delicious church in town!</div>
  • Ha! Manda has tried to lie to me, and it's ended badly. Never try to out-mischief a master. I will bust you. I almost feel sorry for her sometimes. Almost.

    Vally, I didn't even think to kindly tell her I was a member of a new church, one in which I do the preaching! Dangit. Opportunity lost.

    Maybe I'll just tell her I can't sell my dress to anyone getting married inside a church because of the naughty, naughty things I did in it all day and night on my wedding day. The swearing, the trick-or-treating, the drinking, the dancing, the eventual toss to the floor, out of the way for fornication.... that dress will surely burst into flames if you try to take it on sacred southern baptist ground now.
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