Would this work or is it rude?

kmjarvey

We're planning on having my rehearsal dinner at my parents' camp on Lake Superior. I don't want to invite too many people because FIs parents have offered to cook everything. We have a lot of friends/family coming into town just for the wedding and I want to give them something to do. Would it be ok if we invited them out after the dinner to have a drink with us and sauna? They're all invited to the wedding and I don't think they're expecting to be invited to the rehearsal dinner...

loop0406

Do they know you're having rehearsal dinner?

If they don't, I wouldn't mention it, just simply invite them to drink/sauna at the time dinner will be over. However, if the dinner will still be going on, that's uncomfortable to both them and you ...

shellydiane820

That is rude. 

jnic0319

I don't think that's rude at all.  A lot of people have welcome parties the night before for out of town guests, but they shouldn't be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Just be very very sure that the dinner will be over and cleaned up before the cocktail/sauna party begins or else it's just awkward.

wadingmoose

I think it'd be fine.  Not everyone gets invited to the rehearsal dinner anyway so I doubt they'd be expecting that.

KatyRoseM

I think its ok if its well after dinner.

ljewel422

I always thought a RD was just for the bridal party. *scratches head*

waltzingmatilda13

I think it's fine as long as dinner is long over and put away.

We had a traitional RD at a restaurant then had dessert and drninks for all the OOTs at my MIL's house. Maybe you could save dessert for all the OOTs so they feel a little more included.

Audrey&Austin

I think its fine as long as everything is picked up and dinner is over. Just make sure that dinner is early enough and you have the cocktails scheduled late enough that people that aren't invited to the dinner show up early.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-this-work-rude-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:02c5f86b-670f-4c45-95fa-6da0c42fd81dPost:3f05366d-e655-4d8d-a0ab-7e8b3bceca11">Re: Would this work or is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]I always thought a RD was just for the bridal party. *scratches head*
Posted by ljewel422[/QUOTE]

And their dates. And your immediate family. And anyone else involved in the rehearsal. And some people invite OOT guests as a nice gesture.

OP, I think it's fine, but treat it like 2 separate events - dinner at 6, over and cleaned up, and drinks and sauna at 8.

maylane

For an OOT wedding I attended, the bride and groom held their rehearsal dinner with family and wedding party in the hotel restaurant and then invited allp OOT to join them in a private party room for free drinks and appetizers. It was a blast (though led to a few hangovers on the wedding day).

shoegal715

If you treat it as two seperate events, it's fine.

NillaWafer10

My extended family actually enjoyed having a night free from wedding festivities.  (Only our grandparents and immediate family was invited to the RD.)  They were able to go out and see the city without feeling obligated to do a family event.  Might be something you want to think about.

brookelynpaisley

Sauna?

danieliza1127

We invited all of our oot friends to meet us at a local bar after the rehearsal dinner, and they all did and we had a blast.  I think it's fine.  Most people realize that only the wedding party and their dates are invited to the rehearsal and dinner.

kmjarvey

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_would-this-work-rude-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:02c5f86b-670f-4c45-95fa-6da0c42fd81dPost:c2dd6902-0393-47f9-942a-969e3b686ff7">Re: Would this work or is it rude?</a>:
[QUOTE]Sauna?
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

The greatest thing ever! In the UP (Upper Penninsula of Michigan), there's a strong Finnish influence so a lot of people build their own saunas and use them on a regular basis instead of just at the gym, etc. Lake Superior is known for being extremely cold, even in the summer so it's awesome to sit in the sauna then cool off in the lake :)