Is it wrong to ask not to have a bachelorette party?

wingfootmarx

I'm getting married in April, and the ladies in my lab have already mentioned doing a bachelorette party.  Is it impolite or wrong to ask them to not have one?  I don't ever go out to clubs and I hate being the center of attention (I'm only getting married publicly because I got out-voted on the matter) and I'm uncomfortable with the idea of a bachelorette outing.  How should I approach this?  Help!

kikibaby

Nope, it's not required.  But, would you consider something else?  Lots of people do something like a spa day or a wine party at home.

Brie2010

It's not rude to decline gracefully, but you can have a bachelorette party without it being all penis straws and blowjob shots.  Maybe suggest that you'd prefer a spa day, or a nice dinner out, or wine tasting, or something generally tamer.

bellebride116

I didn't want a party either... I declined gracefully. But, we did do some spa stuff one day

arbolita

As others have said, a bachelorette party doesn't have to be some crazy night out.  I've been to one at a spa, and mine was at Hershey Park.  It was awesome.

2dBride

You don't have to have one if you don't want one.  But we ended up with two, both delightful.  One was at Dave & Buster's (restaurant and arcade games).  One was at a traditional Korean bathhouse.  Neither involved clubs, strippers, or alcohol.

frenchy730

I'd ask them what they had in mind before declining.  Like PPs said, suggest something other than "clubbing" and see if they'd be interested with something else.  If not, then tell them what they're planning is not really you're thing.  They'll take the hint and either plan something else, or let the idea go.

dittmerbullard2010

We are not doing a "traditional" bachelorette party. A group of girls and I are going to have a movie night, with popcorn, snacks, drinks, etc. All at home.

srkropf

I agree with the above girls, have a night in if that's okay with you. It's nice that they want to spend time with you and celebrate in a more laid back setting-- clubs and crazy are not required.

PharmacyBride

Ditto PPs.. whether you decide to nix the idea or have something low key is up to you.  Just be sure it resembles your personality.

Don't feel obligated to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.. or flat out isn't your idea of fun

[Deleted User]

Ditto pp's. I didn't want a stripper or anything like that. We just went out to a few different clubs and the girls bought me some drinks. I didn't get plastered or anything like that, but it was still fun and perfect for me.

tpender13

FI and I and four other couples are going up to stay at his aunts pub/resort for the weekend. I'm so excited for it!

Do whatever is right for you.

Adrini76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wrong-ask-not-bachelorette-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:03c44a31-81db-45a3-bfef-70f1207a949bPost:c90f5528-1ab5-49c1-8a5e-0df2bd576585">Is it wrong to ask not to have a bachelorette party?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm getting married in April, and the ladies in my lab have already mentioned doing a bachelorette party.  Is it impolite or wrong to ask them to not have one?  I don't ever go out to clubs and I hate being the center of attention (<strong>I'm only getting married publicly because I got out-voted on the matter)</strong> and I'm uncomfortable with the idea of a bachelorette outing.  How should I approach this?  Help!
Posted by wingfootmarx[/QUOTE]

<div>Glad it's not just me. :)</div>

mica178

I just asked my MOH if I could come over for the weekend and hang out, maybe watch a chick flick.  We went to a farmer's market, cooked dinner, did stuff that my FI would hate to do.  It was restorative and fun.

Of course, now the rest of my WP and a bunch of FI's friends' wives have decided that I need more of a b party, so apparently something's being planned.  Since at least a couple of the ladies doing the planning are pregnant, and one of the guests is my FMIL, I imagine it's just going to be dinner out with girls.

lezlers

I'm having a spa day.  I'm 32 and would feel downright silly hitting the clubs to enjoy my last night of being "single" considering I haven't been on the club scene for almost 10 years now.