Sometimes, I wonder...

AmoroAgain

How some people got this far in life based on the questions they ask.  Like the girl on Registry who was wondering where people got their Thank You's from.

Really?  You needed to ask that?  Like there's some sort of magical place that sells super secret thank you's that have Wedding Dust thrown in them?

danieliza1127

It is scary how completely clueless some people can be.  It's also weird to me that some people just don't know because they've never been in or to a wedding.  I've been in and to so many weddings, some stuff I just knew without needing to ask. 

anna.oskar

I saw that.  How does one reach marrying age without ever buying thank you notes previously?

SarahPLiz

Its sad to think that this is probably the first time in her life she is writing thank-you notes. My mother made us do it from the time we could make some sort of marking on a page, but I guess others weren't raised like that.

Nebb

I had only ever been to two weddings in my life before my wedding, one of which I was 8 years old, and the other I was drunk. I still managed to plan my entire wedding on my own and figure all of this stuff out myself. Amazing!!!

AmoroAgain

Clueless is the best word for it Dani.  I can't stand that crap.

Just because it's on a list somewhere stating that it might be a good idea to have something, does NOT mean you NEEEEEEED IT.  Like Favor Girl. 

kikibaby

Pretty sure this entire site would not exist if nobody ever had questions about anything wedding related. 

FWIW, I've never written a thank you note.

AmoroAgain

Wow.  I had to write thank you notes for my graduation gifts.  How are you not made to do at LEAST that?

bbyckes

I'm shocked at the number of people who neglect to send out thank-you cards.  I've bought gifts for 3 weddings and one baby shower this year.  I have not recieved a thank-you from any of the parties involved.  I just find that odd - if this is the direction we're headed in, I don't like it.

wadingmoose

Note to self:  Put Thank Yous in the mail.  Tonight.

kikibaby

I will definitely send out TY cards in the future (for wedding, babies, etc), but unfortunately my parents obviously didn't have the best manners as far as this goes.  It was never mentioned to me that I should send them.  I wish I had, for graduation at least.

kikibaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sometimes-wonder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:06e878dd-b271-413b-8e49-622c0d9c60e5Post:74d467c7-1bef-46e8-b55e-9f7ad00739fa">Re: Sometimes, I wonder...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm shocked at the number of people who neglect to send out thank-you cards.  I've bought gifts for 3 weddings and one baby shower this year.  I have not recieved a thank-you from any of the parties involved.  I just find that odd - if this is the direction we're headed in, I don't like it.
Posted by bbyckes[/QUOTE]

I've also been to 2 weddings and 2 baby showers this year- no TY's from any of them.

MeaghanandMichael

This subject really hits home with me too Amoro. It really frustrates me especially because, being a younger bride, everything surrounding weddings is very new to most of my peer group. I think it is completely understandable in some regards, but it also kills me to see the severe lacking of common sense is reveals as well. I can see not knowing a lot of details of planning as a newly engaged woman, but as a guest, how can you NOT realize asking to bring a few friends with you to a wedding is just rude? How can you not see asking to be in the bridal party is rude? I could go on and on...

anna.oskar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sometimes-wonder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06e878dd-b271-413b-8e49-622c0d9c60e5Post:74d467c7-1bef-46e8-b55e-9f7ad00739fa">Re: Sometimes, I wonder...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm shocked at the number of people who neglect to send out thank-you cards.  I've bought gifts for 3 weddings and one baby shower this year.  I have not received a thank-you from any of the parties involved.  I just find that odd - if this is the direction we're headed in, I don't like it.
Posted by bbyckes[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  I have only received one thank you note from the last 4 wedding I have been to.

I failed to send a ty note to my grandmother when I was 12 and didn't receive a birthday present the next year because I was "obviously ungrateful".  I haven't skipped a ty since.

BecW2be

I've written thank you notes since I learned to write. My mom taught us to make thank you cards for everything from teachers at the end of the school year to birthday gifts to thank you letters to Santa. It just good manners. Someone spent time and money picking out a gift for you. 3 minutes or less to write a nice note is too much to bother with? Ugh. That sickens me.

JK10910

I've only been to a couple weddings (at least since I was old enough to pay attention), and I've never been in one.  So I'm pretty clueless on a lot of things wedding related.  But then, I came here, and lurked for a few months, and my best friend/awesome MOH has been in several weddings, so she knows the drill.  It's not that hard.

Bonus, I've written thank you notes before.

danieliza1127

My Mom and I complain to each other about my niece and nephew's lack of TY cards all the time.  We never received any TY notes from them when they got married, and my niece had a baby and sent my Mom a thank you post on FB when my Mom sent her a baby gift.  Lame.  But if she stops sending stuff then she'll be considered a bad Grandma.

I think the other things with weddings is that people just assume everything related to the wedding is special somehow.  So if they needed thank you cards for a regular party, they'd probably figure it out, go to the card store or Target or something.  But since it's wedding related, they think somehow that it must be a specific thing or a specific place you need to buy it from, you know?

AmoroAgain

I think common sense is something that's in very short supply world wide.  It's ridiculous.

JK10910

Common...common what?

wadingmoose

We sent thank you cards to my Mom's Mom for gifts.  Other than that, past a certain age, we weren't required to send thank you notes.  I did send them for Grad gifts.  And of course, wedding gifts.

I do have a new fascination with paper now so who knows   Maybe I'll start doing thank yous for everything.  But I know I don't receive thank yous for other gifts I send like Christmas and birthday...

danieliza1127

I don't think they're "required" for birthday or Christmas presents, at least not those given in person. 

Nebb

Common cents, as it is sometimes called by the people who lack it.

JK10910

Yeah, I've never written them for birthday and Christmas presents.  Even my Grandma sends me a card every year for my birthday with a check, and I don't send her a thank you note because she'd prefer I call her and chat for awhile.  But grad gifts definitely. 

Nebb

I always did thank you phone calls as well, or face to face thank yous. I had never written thank you cards either until my shower.

bbyckes

I think the friends who have neglected to send thank you cards also think that a thank-you phone call will suffice.   For those that I don't know as well, I would like a note of appreciation.  A fb message does not count.

wadingmoose

Oh.  Heh.  So it was just my Mom who made us do them for birthdays and Christmas?  Great.

JK10910

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sometimes-wonder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06e878dd-b271-413b-8e49-622c0d9c60e5Post:f5da712b-729c-4bcb-9686-5dd54507ac8d">Re: Sometimes, I wonder...</a>:
[QUOTE]I carry TY cards in my purse. I was taught, regardless of relationship of the gift giver, a TY note was thoughtful and appropriate. <strong>I even send TY's to people who've had me over for dinner for a special occasion.</strong>
Posted by mag920[/QUOTE]

My best friend's sister invited me to their home with her family for Thanksgiving one year when I couldn't go home, and they were only an hour away.  I most definitely sent a thank you note, and brought a bottle of wine!  Good call.

gailpete

No it wasn't just your mom that made you do them for birthday and Christmas gifts.  My mom made me do them, and in turn, I taught my daughter to do them, too.

As much as I dislike writing them, I still do it to acknowledge the time and thought someone put into getting me the gift and sending it to me.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

I hated writing TY notes when I was a kid, but there are a lot of things my parents made me do which I hated. And now I'm really glad they made me do those things.

I got a TY note when I had a friend stay with me who was visiting form another country (she's living abroad for two years). She didn't get in until around 8pm and had to leave early the next morning, so we just had snacks and played board games. But she sent me a nice little letter about how she was so happy to visit me. It was really nice and appreciated. The last two weddings I've been to? No TY notes.

FI's family sent wrapped Christmas presents home with us over Thanksgiving. I'm debating if I should send them TY notes, since I won't be opening them in front of them...

ThePinkSuperhero

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_sometimes-wonder?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:06e878dd-b271-413b-8e49-622c0d9c60e5Post:f5b8cd71-4ea4-4d0b-b7ac-47d8e4572b6b">Sometimes, I wonder...</a>:
[QUOTE]How some people got this far in life based on the questions they ask.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

The one that always gets me is about chair covers.  I've seen it more than once- "Are chair covers a wedding necessity?"  They're fabric to drape over chairs!  They serve no practical purpose!  If you really aren't sure whether or not that's a "necessity", I wonder about you.

goheels05

I did them for birthdays and Christmas presents, too.