Hates the engagement ring!

alyssag721

So my best friend just got engaged... but hates her ring! There is nothing wrong with it, it is just very much not her style. Should she tell her fiance or would that be rude? I know it's the thought that counts, but at the same time she has to wear that thing forever!

What would my fellow Knotties do?

Update: OK so it looks like this:

 

Not ugly, just too much for her style! Thanks Moneypenny for the pic!

mrjcre2011

We knew from the very beginning we were going to get married and we had a ton of conversations about rings, etc. I was very specific when I told him what I wanted: princess cut, solitaire, and white gold or platinum. He knews me well enough to know my style is "simple but elegant". My best friend, and our roommate, also knows me well enough to know what I like, so he took her with him to check out rings and get her opinion. We've been friends and roommates for nearly 10 years, so she better know me well by now! I know nothing about diamonds, but fortunately FI knows all about the C's and picked out the most gorgeous ring I could have ever asked for. I LOVE my ring! I didn't want any surprises with the ring, but I did want to be surprised with the proposal. I had no idea he had bought it (he works at a bank, and had it locked in a vault that requires two people to access and with cameras on it for protection :-)).

As for your situation, this is tough. On the one hand, you should say something because you will have to wear it for the rest of your life and you'll want it to be representative of your style. But, on the other hand, regardless of what anyone says, your FI WILL be hurt. He may not be overly upset, he may even hide that it bothers him, but it will hurt his feelings. Men tend to be a lot more sensitive than we give them credit for. I agree with asking to have it reset when you're looking at wedding bands. It's the easiest way to deliver the news without a major blow to his ego. You have to remember, he's most likely pretty darn proud of himself that he picked out a fancy ring for the woman he loves and who has agreed to marry him. Telling him flat out you don't like the ring, no matter how kindly you put it, will hurt his feelings. Tread cautiously!

tenofcups4me

I would tell him. I don't care how much thought or money went into the ring, I wouldn't wear something I hated every single day. That's ridiculous.

Of course that's also a large part of the reason why I made it clear the first time I got married that I absolutely did not ever want any kind of surprise proposal with a surprise ring. (No issue with DH; I told him I didn't want to spend the money at the time for an engagement ring at all.)

dannie134

I am not in love with my ring.  There, I said it.  It's a beautiful ring, but I have really skinny fingers and it's a thick band with diamonds, and it looks like of ridiculous on me.  Like, just out of proportion.

FI really wanted to surprise me, I tried to give him some hints, but when he saw it on my hand he kind of had the same reaction - wow, your fingers are so skinny!  But at that point I wanted to make him feel better, not worse, and really he put his love into picking it out so I am keeping it as is.

And maybe after a few years I will get used to it and like it.  But right now the sentiment is more important to me than what it actually looks like on my finger.

megandansot

I would gently tell him that though you love the diamond and the band, you would prefer another setting. I would have the ring reset in the way that you want. I wouldn't worry about offending him, because you should be honest with your husband-to-be. It's better to be honest than wear a ring you don't like for the rest of your life. 
Here's my engagement ring, I really love it. Good luck and congrats on the engagement!