Honoring my late mother at our wedding...

donlink1060

Sadly, my mother died last week and we are heartbroken.  Our wedding is 54 days away and I'm looking for some ideas/advice on ways to honor her at the wedding.  Any help is greatly appreciated:)

ElleB87

First and foremost I'm so sorry for your loss!

There are lockets that you can tie into your bouquet that you could put a picture of her inside. You can put a flower on the chair she could have sat in, light a candle in her honour, mention her (briefly) in the programs.

Whatever you choose to do I would suggest making it subtle. The wounds from this loss will still be very fresh for you and your family and seeing momentos of your mom everywhere may upset you and/or some of your guests.

Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

[Deleted User]

Sorry for your loss. I was in a similar situation - my mother died 2 months before our wedding. I chose to light a candle prior to the ceremony with our officiant. I didn't make any announcement or anything - people who needed to know what it was for knew. I thought it best not to draw too much attention to her death or any memorials - 1) everyone there was well aware she was gone and missed her, and 2) the wedding was meant to be a happy occasion for people to celebrate, not mourn. There are many things you can do: off the top of my head you can carry something meaningful in your bouquet, perhaps a locket, or have something of your mother's sewn into your dress. Things like that. I'd strongly advise against having an empty chair with a flower on it. That's just morbid.

achiduck

I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother at 14 and I plan to use her veil to wrap around my bouquet stem. We will also say a special prayer during the ceremony for any family members who have passed on and her name will be mentioned aloud.

I agree with Milkduds though, I think I would probably avoid anything that would be really upsetting to family.

donlink1060

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honoring-my-late-mother-at-our-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08a95f5a-1fba-4c12-a162-2a50bc789e8fPost:1947e667-a702-4d8d-8423-61a202c9cde9">Re: Honoring my late mother at our wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]First and foremost I'm so sorry for your loss! There are lockets that you can tie into your bouquet that you could put a picture of her inside. You can put a flower on the chair she could have sat in, light a candle in her honour, mention her (briefly) in the programs. Whatever you choose to do I would suggest making it subtle. The wounds from this loss will still be very fresh for you and your family and seeing momentos of your mom everywhere may upset you and/or some of your guests. Again, I'm so sorry for what you're going through.
Posted by ElleB87[/QUOTE]

<div>Thanks so much!</div>

donlink1060

Thank you all so much for your wonderful ideas.  What do you think of this.  I also lost my sister 3 years ago and I found a photo of both my sister and my mom that I would like to place in a frame and put on the table next to the table place cards at the reception hall.  That way people can see it as they walk in, but it won't interfere with the festivities.  I agree, that I should avoid upsetting family and friends.  

zizibet

I'm so sorry for your loss.

MrsCourtney2U

First of all, my sincerest apologies for your loss. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. My FI lost his mother a few years back, so this is something that I have been exploring as well. He and his mother were extremely close, she was pretty much his best friend. We wanted a way to honor her at our wedding, but we wanted it to be more private. He will be wearing a small photo of her and him attached to his boutonniere and for our unity ceremony we will be doing sand. We have a vase that is in the shape of a heart and has been engraved with "forever in our hearts" along with her name and dates. For the sand, we will be using white along with her favorite color, which was peach. At the reception we will display the vase next to a picture of her on the guestbook and card table. These are just some things that we came up with, I'm sure that whatever you choose will be beautiful.

megan8290

I am so sorry to hear about your lost dear. 
My FI's father passes away days before he proposed (It was planned, it wasn't an emotional reaction). He is going to wear his father's wedding ring and we are going to have a moment of prayer for those who can not be with us today. Other than that, we don't want to emphasize too much on it since it's suppose to be a joyous occasion.
I love PP's sugguestions of photos and specific items to wear with you.

Best wishes to you. Again, I'm very very sorry about your lost.

maribeth721

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_honoring-my-late-mother-at-our-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:08a95f5a-1fba-4c12-a162-2a50bc789e8fPost:4339cf9a-58b9-4b34-894e-7940215a32ea">Re: Honoring my late mother at our wedding...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother at 14 and I plan to use her veil to wrap around my bouquet stem. We will also say a special prayer during the ceremony for any family members who have passed on and her name will be mentioned aloud. I agree with Milkduds though, I think I would probably avoid anything that would be really upsetting to family.
Posted by achiduck[/QUOTE]

I am so, so sorry for your loss. My Mom passed when I was 16. I am also wrapping my bouquet in a piece of my Mom's dress. I'm also including some of her favorite flowers in my bouquet. I purchased a memorial candle with a beautiful poem on it that I am going to display on the guest book/escort card table. There are so many wonderful things you can do to honor your Mom. Good luck.