Wedding Etiquette Forum

RSVP dead beats

Our RSVP date is September 1st.  As of today, we are still waiting on about 35 people to respond. According to my mom, no one's response came today. We need responses as we are having plated sit-down dinners.  Is it normal for people to hold out til the last possible day? At what point after the deadline do I start harassing people? 

Note:  Most of the people who haven't responded are my fiance's family.
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Re: RSVP dead beats

  • did someone say beets?

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  • I'll bet you'll get a rush of RSVPs in the next few days.  After the deadline passes, either you, your FI, or someone in your FI's family can start calling the true deadbeats.
  • I'd probably start calling next Monday. If it's FI's family, have him or his parents call if you feel more comfortable with that.
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  • Give it a week, start calling. Most venues want a final count about 2 wks prior to the reception. It is a PITA, but something that needs to be done. I know it is so rude of people to not rsvp either way esp when there is a stamp and everything right on it, but unfortunately a lot of brides deal with this. I know we did. For those we couldn't get ahold of really close to the deadline and hadn't heard anything from anyone else in the family, we just marked a no. Tell your vendor to allow for a few extra plates just in case you have a few show that did not rsvp.
  • We had people literally send in their RSVPs the week of the wedding... after we had already called them and gotten their response. I don't get it, but it happens. Give it a few days after the deadline and then start calling.
  • Deadline for DD's wedding is 9/4. We had 3 people call today (total of 5 accepted, 2 of the 3 were +1 but the other one was a single) because they've lost their RSVP cards.   All of these people are single, when they get married they'll understand how important it is to return your RSVP cards.


  • Since your wedding isn't until October 2nd you can definitely give it an extra week for your RSVPs before calling.  Its definitely one of the most annoying parts throughout the whole wedding planning process, but some people just are rude and don't send it in, or forget.  And I agree with the PPs who said have FI or his family call if you are more comfortable with that. 
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  • Calling does take time and it's probably a pain that we'll all deal with at some point.  If you have another reason for calling some of them, go ahead and call them now and mention you haven't gotten it.  Otherwise, leave it for a few days-sometimes people mail those things on the date you asked for them.
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