Wedding Etiquette Forum

Guests...

Ok, I have this HUGE problem and we are 13 days out!!!
My fiance and I invited OUR friends, and to be nice, invited some of our parents close friends... My dad is in a motorcyle club, so those guys had to get invited, which was more than fine. However, they aren't close friends of my fiance and probably wouldn't be able to pick us out of a crowd. We budgeted for all of them to come, BUT one of the guys wants to bring his kids too. We did specify "no kids". This guy seems to think this is ok, and I REALLY don't want him to bring kids, I have tried nicely explaining it to my mother in hopes to speak to my dad (I don't like talking to him, 90% of the time this ends in an argument...), but to no avail... To top it off I found out he was bringing his kids just a few days ago!!!! Plus he added another couple I didn't know about around the same time!

So how do I find away to uninvite this guys kids with 13 days left? Is it ok to randomly call some guy I don't really know and tell him I think it's inappropriate for him to bring his kids to the wedding of someone HE doesn't really know? Or am I just over reacting to this and dish out the extra money to pay for his kids, and avoid getting my over reacting temper driven dad all rowled up?
-Married May 14th, 2011- "Love is the dawn of marriage, marriage is the sunset of love."

Re: Guests...

  • Are you allowing anyone to bring kids?
  • Wait, so did your mom or dad actually talk to him? Are they not going to call him and say, "Sorry, we can't accommodate children"? Is that the issue?
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  • No one else is bringing kids. Everyone else understood

    & no one is calling him and telling him this... they think it's ok because they are "teens"... not kids...
    -Married May 14th, 2011- "Love is the dawn of marriage, marriage is the sunset of love."
  • no kids means NO KIDS. Any adult should be able to understand this.
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  • You would think they would Kristeno90... I thought I made it pretty clear...I didn't hint at it, I wrote "No kids please"... I guess I should have written "No babies, tots, kids, teens, or young adults." lesson learned LOL
    -Married May 14th, 2011- "Love is the dawn of marriage, marriage is the sunset of love."
  • Are your parents paying for any of the wedding?  If they aren't, I would just tell them that there is not going to be any place settings or meals for his children, so if they want to avoid embarrassment they need to call him and tell him that they can't come.  Explain to them that it wouldn't be fair to the however many other guests whose kids are not allowed to come.  
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  • Just call him and tell him the invitation was only for him and his significant other, and you are sorry that you can't accomodate the kids.  

    I don't think it matters whether or not you are having other kids, although it sounds like you aren't.  From what you said, it sounds like you don't really know this guy, it's just your dad that knows him, and neither you nor your dad know his kids.  Why would you possibly invite them?  
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_guests-11?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:093037c9-73ad-498d-af9c-c0e5e3237f37Post:a605e6e3-2c88-4d4f-aaf9-5b7d77b9a32a">Re: Guests...</a>:
    [QUOTE] I wrote "No kids please"... I guess I should have written "No babies, tots, kids, teens, or young adults." lesson learned LOL
    Posted by MzChainz[/QUOTE]

    It may have been the word "please" that mislead him, being to kind instead of clearly writing "No kids no matter what age"  : / Some take the word "please" passivley.

    As far as inviting someone else too!? Ouch.

    I wish you luck on straightening it out.
  • That's terrible that your dad is seemingly more willing to side with someone in his motorcycle club than his daughter that is getting married. [[Not trying to stir up feelings -  but that just seems odd.]]

    Is you dad paying for the wedding?

    Can your mom (or your MOH?) call up this [[rude!]] guest and explain the no-kids policy for you? Will your dad flip out if you or someone else calls him?

    It doesn't matter who makes the phone call; it is the only way to handle this situation. I would just try to pawn the task off to someone else first... but worst case scenario, you might have to.

    I'm sorry for this situation. :-(
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