Bridal Party

beckybutts

This is horrible but how do you tell someone that you no longer need them to be a bride's maid without sounding like an insensitive jerk?

tidetravel

You don't.

tidetravel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:09f47199-cdd3-40c5-a4b5-60739334adc6Post:da8ea6e7-9ca3-4cd1-9778-2f29936ea8ee">Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]This is horrible but how do you tell someone that you no longer need them to be a bride's maid without sounding like an insensitive jerk?
Posted by beckybutts@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

anna.oskar

You can't generally.  What would your reason be for kicking her out?  Did she sleep with your FI?

smokeybailey

Ms. Butts, I must hear more.  Please tell us how this person has lost their position as your BM.  I am sure you have a really good reason.

Tell us.  Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeell uuuuuuuuuuuuuus......

opalsky007

You don't.

You also don't use your email as a username unless you want a full inbox. And I hope that's not your full name.

tidetravel

Agree w/ opalsky.  Create a new account that doesn't list your email address and/or your full name.

As it is, there is a phone and address listing for your name in Tennessee, courtesy of google.  I hope that's not you.

RachNRich

I can't help but laugh at your last name---mainly because I'm 5. 

beckybutts

Well not exactly but we just haven't been as close as recently as we used to be.  I know it was a tacky question but I just wanted to hear some thoughts. 

beckybutts

Yeah thank God I'm getting married! lol

Nebb

Thats why you dont ask them too far in advance of the wedding. You cant take that back without losing the friendship entirely so its up to you, but its a pretty diick move to make.

tidetravel

Real answer:

Kicking someone out of the Bridal party is a friendship ending move.  If you are ok with ending the friendship, then go ahead and do it.

Without having more information, its hard to give you a more specific answer, but here are some common issues people have:

If your friend is flaking off, you need to decide why.  If she's always been like this, you shouldn't expect her to change just because you're getting married.  If she hasn't always been like this,  then you have a friendship issue, not a wedding related one.  Take some time away from the wedding and find out what's wrong with your friend.
  
Remember that the only "job" for those in the brial party is to buy a pretty dress and stand up for you at the wedding.  Your friend isn't required to host or attend any prewedding parties, nor is she required to help you plan - that's what your FI is for.  

ricksang

I kicked a BM out because she asked me to sleep with her and her husband. I felt she/they betrayed my now husband and she made me feel very uncomfy. There are lines you don't cross.
But, from reading your posts it seems you just want to kick her out for no reason. Yes, you can kick her out but be prepared to end a relationship.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Technically, you don't NEED your BMs to do anything.

Is it going to kill you to have her stand there with you, supporting you on your big day? Doesn't sound like it.

BecW2be

Did anyone else glance at this thread and hear a Sir Mix A Lot intro start up in her head? No? Just me?

[Deleted User]

LA face with an Oakland booty.

SarahPLiz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:09f47199-cdd3-40c5-a4b5-60739334adc6Post:da8ea6e7-9ca3-4cd1-9778-2f29936ea8ee">Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]This is horrible but how do you tell someone that you no longer need them to be a bride's maid without sounding like an insensitive jerk?
Posted by beckybutts@gmail.com[/QUOTE]

Well, you don't NEED Bms in the first place, so you really can't not need them anymore.
Are you trying to say that you don't WANT them to be a BM? If that's the case, then you obviously don't WANT to be theri friend either, and your don't care if the other BMs and everyone else thinks you are a b*tch for kicking her out. If she didn't sleep with your FI or set your dress on fire (or ask for a 3some.. strange, ricks).. then you really have no basis for being a bitch to her.

Pink7781

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:09f47199-cdd3-40c5-a4b5-60739334adc6Post:7855b0a9-67c4-40fe-867a-427d636f4078">Re: Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Did anyone else glance at this thread and hear a Sir Mix A Lot intro start up in her head? No? Just me?
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

ME ME ME!!! Too funny!

saschaduran

I really, really hope that is your real name, and I think you should keep it if you get married, Becky Butts.

Oh.  My.  God.  Becky....look at her butt.
I like big butts and I cannot lie.  You other brothers can't deny.  That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung....

beatlesgirl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridal-party?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09f47199-cdd3-40c5-a4b5-60739334adc6Post:7855b0a9-67c4-40fe-867a-427d636f4078">Re: Bridal Party</a>:
[QUOTE]Did anyone else glance at this thread and hear a Sir Mix A Lot intro start up in her head? No? Just me?
Posted by BecW2be[/QUOTE]

Always, Bec. Always.

thesuninherhead

My homeboys tried to warn me, but that butt you got makes...

 

oh, sorry. I mean: It's not just 'tacky' to kick a former bridesmaid out of your party, it's insensitive and rude. If you want to hurt this girl's feelings and behave like a giant ass (no pun intended) because you were thoughtless and acted on impulse, go right ahead.

BecW2be

One Halloween I was dressed as Fiona, and the band pulled me up on stage to dance to this song. My ass was literally 3' wide that night. It was an awesome moment.

That has nothing to do with this thread, so let me unhijack and say you can't have an ex-BM and a friend at the same time, so choose one.