Name change

chescam

Hey ladies I really need some help. Here's a quick background: FI never grew up with his dad in his life. A few years ago, his dad started reaching out to him. FI wanted nothing to do with his dad at first but decided to give his dad a chance. Well, a relationship developed and he's even grown closer to his dad's side of the family. FI didn't have his dad's last name and his dad insisted that he take on his last name. He paid for FI to change his name last year but it has not been processed as yet. He was told that it would take 3-8 months and next month will make 8 months since he's been waiting. 

We want to order invitations soon and I wanted to know if we should go ahead and put his new last name on the invitations and all other wedding stationary. We'll be getting married in October.

Beachy730

I don't know the proper etiquette on this, but if you sent them in his new name, would there be people who would be confused as to who it was?  I would probably go by his original name (not his dad's).  

slwager

how do people "know' your fiance?  as john oldname or john newname?  maybe 2 sets of invitations are in order?

ahhhitsshannyn

I would say use his original name. That is what he is known by and since he does not even have the new name yet there is no point in using it.

specialk84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_name-change-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0a189483-7dc5-4334-a4cd-4315316cecbdPost:e1723426-53a1-4dba-be8e-2f984792a22a">Name change</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey ladies I really need some help. Here's a quick background: FI never grew up with his dad in his life. A few years ago, his dad started reaching out to him. FI wanted nothing to do with his dad at first but decided to give his dad a chance. Well, a relationship developed and he's even grown closer to his dad's side of the family. <strong>FI didn't have his dad's last name and his dad insisted that he take on his last name.</strong> He paid for FI to change his name last year but it has not been processed as yet. He was told that it would take 3-8 months and next month will make 8 months since he's been waiting.  We want to order invitations soon and I wanted to know if we should go ahead and put his new last name on the invitations and all other wedding stationary. We'll be getting married in October.
Posted by chescam[/QUOTE]

<div>I can't get past the bolded part.  That's just weird.  Did your FI want to change his name?  </div>

mica178

I've seen the old last name in parentheses before so that people can figure out who's the person: FI (OldLasName) NewLastName.  That could work, assuming most of his acquaintences are aware that he's changing his name.

jessicabessica

What name does your FI go by now?  Is he waiting for the legal change to go through before using his new name socially?  Is he totally dropping his old last name?  Would it be an option to use "FirstName OldLast NewLast" on the invitations so people would be less confused about who he was?  I kind of think that if he actually wants to go by his new name, he should use that one. 

Another idea to avoid confusion would be to list his parents (is his old last name his mom's last name?) on the invite, maybe:
Firstname NewLast
son of
Mom OldLast
and
Dad NewLast

ETA: I was thinking about the parentheses thing that mica suggested, too.  I haven't ever seen that on a formal invite, but that's what I use when I'm writing about divorces/name changes in my job.

chescam

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_name-change-2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0a189483-7dc5-4334-a4cd-4315316cecbdPost:ee0a764b-7dca-4bdc-8699-4514c3acb342">Re: Name change</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Name change : I can't get past the bolded part.  That's just weird.  Did your FI want to change his name?  
Posted by specialk84[/QUOTE]
Yes, he wanted to change his name. FI grew up as an only child but has recently connected with his dad's other children. <div>
</div><div>The situation is very complicated because FI doen't like his current last name. He's told me before that it doesn't mean anything to him. FI's mom and dad were not married when they had him. His mom was divorced but kept her married name (FI's current last name). She has since changed her last name to her maiden name. So he has neither his mom or dad's last name. He "would rather have the last name of his dad rather than the name of a man he never met" (his words). Hope this makes sense</div>

tenofcups4me

I'd probably do:

firstname oldlastname newlastname

lbow1984

Ooh that is tough, but I would probably find a way to incorporate his old last name in there somewhere whether in parenthesis or what I'm not quite certain.  I just wouldn't want people to be confused as to who they were getting a wedding invitation for if they're not familiar with his dad's last name or that he's changing his last name to that name.

bridezillatobe2009

I would either do the parenthesis or 2 sets of invites. One with his new last name for his dad's side of the family and anyone else who would understand and another set of invites for everyone else