Wedding Etiquette Forum

Babysitting wording...

Hello!  I am having no children at the reception (ceremony, yes, reception, no). I have a few cousins who won't be making the trip to our wedding if they cannot bring their children. I am not asking that there be NO children present, I would just prefer no children at the reception....It's a Saturday night affair in a swanky hotel and I don't think children belong there.  I am providing babysitting services on the same floor as the reception.  I am including a little note stating that this will be available.  How should I word it to not sound offensive, but that I'm serious?
Thanks for the help!
BabyFruit Ticker

Re: Babysitting wording...

  • The best I can offer is "Optional Babysitting at Venue" or something along those lines.  Its rude of you to let kids come to the ceremony and not the reception.
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  • "optional childcare provided"

    Additionally, when starting a new thread, one needn't hit the post button more than once. It takes a second to process.

  • What are you going to do if people don't use the service?  Shelley's wording is good - it's an option that is nice for you to provide.  However, some people will want to bring their kids in and if they're at the ceremony, it's kind of expected that they'll get to dine & dance afterwards. 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:57476ad0-0af1-41a0-98ab-98b92a551992">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Additionally, when starting a new thread, one needn't hit the post button more than once. It takes a second to process.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
    Considering she only posted once, I don't see how this is relevant at all.
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  • I apologize for posting it twice; it's my first time posting something.
    I appreciate the words of advice!!
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:0aca8f0f-a306-4a72-8567-d531fae8989a">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : Considering she only posted once, I don't see how this is relevant at all.
    Posted by Audrey&Austin[/QUOTE]

    Actually, it was twice, and one of the mods deleted the extra post.

  • I'm not sure how you get around the "optional" part - if it's optional, they don't have to use it, but then what are they going to do with their kids during the reception?  I think you might have to make your ceremony AND reception no kids to get the results you want.  If some people can't make it because children aren't welcome, that's too bad, I suppose.
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  • I agree that it's rude to invite kids to the ceremony and not the reception. i would just address the invite to only the parents.  then i would personally contact your OOT cousins and explain that you want them to be there and you're providing childcare and give them the specifics.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:e806a847-02bb-4260-a477-a4dc22e1411b">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : Actually, it was twice, and one of the mods deleted the extra post.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
    Oh, my bad. I didn't see the extra post.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:ccb0a578-e488-4234-8317-abb9820d5f59">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : Oh, my bad. I didn't see the extra post.
    Posted by Audrey&Austin[/QUOTE]

    FWIW, I wasn't trying to be crazy rude, but the double posting gets out of control. I figure if you just say something the first time, it's less likely to happen again.

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:d9d2f75c-14e4-4dd6-9175-6b38478dc42b">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : FWIW, I wasn't trying to be crazy rude, but the double posting gets out of control. I figure if you just say something the first time, it's less likely to happen again.
    Posted by JessAndTrav[/QUOTE]
    Now that I realize that you weren't, I can understand. There are a lot of people that can't seem to hold on for five seconds while their post is loaded. But there are a lot of people on this board that are unnecessarily rude to some of the new brides.
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  • If you don't want kids at the reception, they really shouldn't be invited to the ceremony either. 

    I deleted the double post.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:d47acb06-8e7b-4eaf-9152-4fe18a10bdf0">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : Now that I realize that you weren't, I can understand. There are a lot of people that can't seem to hold on for five seconds while their post is loaded. <strong>But there are a lot of people on this board that are unnecessarily rude to some of the new brides.
    </strong>Posted by Audrey&Austin[/QUOTE]

    No, I really don't think there are.  I haven't seen unnecessary rudeness anywhere.  Some blunt talk, I suppose, but not unnecessary rudeness.  And J & T's post doesn't even constitute blunt talk, imo; just a friendly reminder.  No? 
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_babysitting-wording?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0b803954-86d2-4aec-971b-3924d2c83b9cPost:512fa8d6-47ae-451d-9f23-084576ff8f59">Re: Babysitting wording...</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Babysitting wording... : No, I really don't think there are.  I haven't seen unnecessary rudeness anywhere.  Some blunt talk, I suppose, but not unnecessary rudeness.  And J & T's post doesn't even constitute blunt talk, imo; just a friendly reminder.  No? 
    Posted by ohwhynot[/QUOTE]
    Her response wasn't rude. I stand by my statement that there are several regular posters on this board that are frequently rude to newer posters.
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  • We are also providing babysitting.  We are just telling people we know have children about it by word of mouth.  It helps that we don't have that many kids though.  

    I'm also confused about the optional, if they bring the kids to the wedding what else do you think they are going to do with them for the rest?
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  • Optional Babysitting at Venue is a good phrase.. but if you are paying.. try:

    Complimentary Babysitting at Venue 

    IMO, it is okay to allow kids at the ceremony and not the reception. I went to a few weddings as a kid then my parents went to the reception alone.  I enjoyed seeing my relatives get married and when my parents told me the party afterward was for adults I took it well.  This was common practice in my family.  If they invited us to the reception.. my parents would have chosen to leave us at home anyways.  (BTW, this is the cheaper option and it is easier for parents to leave their kids alone for just the length of the reception vs reception + ceremony.)

    As for the babysitting- depending on the age group- I recommend lots of crayons, coloring books, movies, games, etc.
  • I wouldn't invite the kids to the ceremony, but not the reception, I just think you will end up with kids at the reception if you do this. I think it should be an all of nothing thng when it comes to the kids. Its fine to want an adults only wedding, and I think its helpful that you are providing complementary babysitting options.

    I would address the invitation to the wedding to the parents only, and then include an insert in those invitations stating something along the lines of "Complimentary Babysitting Service is available at XX place during the reception." I have even seen people put RSVPs for the kids activities, so that the bride and groom knew how many children to plan care for.
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  • As a parent, I'd rather you just not invite my children.  No way in hell I'm leaving them with a babysitter I don't know and they don't know.  Not happening.

    I leave my children at home with a sitter that I know and trust and who my children know.  If none such sitters are available, I don't go to the wedding.
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  • We aren't having children at the ceremony or reception. We really don't have many family or friends with little ones so we are having this information on our website. We are putting a card in the invitations to look at the website for lodging info, etc. The page on our website says this:

     Dear Family and Friends,We have decided to have no children present at either the ceremony or reception. This doesn't mean we don't want to see children at any other part of the weekend, because we surely do! Children are invited to enjoy themselves and take part in every other moment of weekend. However, we would ask that they not be at the ceremony or reception.We decided to keep the ceremony and reception child-free for personal reasons and would appreciate it if everyone would respect that decision. We realize that it may be difficult for some people to find a babysitter, especially if you are from out of town, so we are providing babysitting at the hotel for our guests. If you are interested in using the babysitter provided, please give either of us a call and we will give you more information on which room in the hotel to bring your children, who the sitter is, etc.It is important to us that our family and friends are happy. Please let either of us know if you have any questions and we look forward to seeing you and yours in November!Love, Bride and Groom
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  • Are you planning on feeding the kids who will be in with the babysitter during the recpetion?
  • Why not have the baby-sitter's room be kind of like a "kid's reception"? I'm assuming you're feeding them a child-friendly meal since, otherewise, who'd feed them if the parents are at the reception?

    You could have age-appropriate activities, etc. That said, what's your cut-off for children? 8 year olds will enjoy chicken fingers and Disney movies more than a formal reception. 12 year olds, maybe not.
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  • Food will most definitely be provided and the babysitting is literally down the hall if the parents need to see their children.

    I'm definitely going to speak to them beforehand, and I've taken your advice and addressed the invitations to the parents only! 

    I really appreciate the feedback!

    BabyFruit Ticker
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