My guest list is KILLING me!

jaqueen001

Ok, ladies, I really need some advice here.  I'm 30 and my fiance is 31.  We are primarily financing our wedding ourselves.  However, we are want to respect our parents and allow them to have some say in our day. 

My parents want a large guest list with lots of friends and family.  My fiance and I want a smaller list with family and close friends.  So what do I do?  Do I ignore my parents' requests and snub their friends, suck it up and go into debt to accomodate them?  Additionally, many of thier friends love me and have "known me since I was a little girl growing up" (quote by my mother) and, she says, "they have been dreaming of this day for years". 

So,  help me out here.  We talking about a guest list of 175 for me or 250 if all her people are invited.
Thanks, ladies.

riverjib

Even if you could to invite their friends, I think it's courteous for parents to at least offer to foot the bill for their own guests. Given that it would put you in debt, it's pretty unfair for them to expect you to pay to invite their friends. I understand your dilemma--you don't want to exclude anyone.

The flip side is that I've had friends whose parents were paying who really wanted small weddings, but had to agree to invite people they didn't even know very well to what they had envisioned as an intimate celebration with only those closest to them. That's a slightly murkier situation, but ultimately, it should be up to the bride and groom to decide how to celebrate their own marriage.

You are gracious enough to want everyone you love to be happy on your wedding day. It's wonderful that you are willing to compromise and make your parents happy by including their friends, because some brides insist (not wrongly) on limiting the guest list. The least your parents can do is offer to pay for the extra expenses!