Registry etiquette

riverjib

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c71d873-7bb2-4efb-bbcc-2b57819c5128Post:79bf0157-feb6-4648-ba77-537497f27480">Registry etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]This may seem like a silly question but why is it still considered rude to include a card listing where you are registered with the invitation or the save-the-date card since couples are EXPECTED to register? How do you pass on the registry information if you don't include it in the invitation?
Posted by alyciabaker[/QUOTE]

So untrue. The registry info is commonly included in the invitation. If that's rude, then most people registering are rude...

rachjim

I have an insert that is Other Information. I have seen plenty of invitations that have this or something very similar on it. We have a lot of OOT guests so this will be very helpful. I think as long as the registry information itself is not on the actual invite, it's fine. Guests are going out of their way to look at the website, and that may or may not be so that they could look at our registries. Either way, I don't care...just wanted to give them something else with more info and pictures to look at...especially since the majority of them are OOT, including family.

Other Information

The bride and groom have created the following wedding website for the guests to view:  

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/GroomandBride(changed names)

The website also contains information regarding registries, area attractions and restaurants, and contact information for reaching the bride and groom

SparrowSong

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c71d873-7bb2-4efb-bbcc-2b57819c5128Post:caedc752-f10d-41d4-985c-8ee29e4f497c">Re: Registry etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]SparrowSong   - Do you know where else I'm registered? I'm registered at two other places as well. Have fun finding them. And yes, while having one registry is just fine and dandy, it may not include everything that I would like, say what if I registered for Chine at another place because I didn't like BBB's China selection, what if I have a honeymoon registry? I'm not sure I'm going to have a wedding shower at all, and I don't really see how having a wedding shower and ASKING FOR GIFTS FOR YOUR WEDDING is any different than letting people know that you are registered someplace. How is, by everyone's opinion and expectation, a wedding shower not tacky and poor etiquette, since the WHOLE POINT is to get gifts? I think that this is a huge and silly double standard and that people get WAY to bent out of shape over it. Are you really going to get nasty with me because my friends and family would prefer me to include a registry card? The whole point of me posting on here was to understand why it is still considered poor etiquette, since I find it to be one of the more archaic rules of etiquette. I think it's amusing how many people on here who preach about how including a registry card is tacky and in poor taste are belittling other people about their opinions, is that not, in itself, tacky and rude? I don't understand how such a simple and silly question can bring out such nasty behavior in people who pride themselves on being proper. I was hoping to have an intelligent discussion with a few other fellow brides, not to be belittled and insulted for my own personal opinion, and for trying to come to a determination as to whether or not this is a route that I would like to go. Considering the attitude and rude words of many who are in favor of NOT putting a registry card in an invitation it has helped me decide that I will include one. I have realized that the people who would be seriously offended by such an action are mostly just hypocrites. Thank you all for helping me come to this decision.
Posted by alyciabaker[/QUOTE]

If I'm buying you a gift, I don't need to find more than one registry. I'd find one, buy something off it, and cross that off my to-do list. It's not a scavenger hunt that I need to collect all three options before possibly buying a gift. If I was a friend/family and lived in the same town as you, I'd probably be able to guess the other stores just as easily, whether they are local stores, or something more specific to your personality. Point is, it really was not difficult to find one and there is no need for brides to commit the faux pas at all because registires are not that difficult to find.

MyNameIsNot

If people want to know, they'll ask.  It isn't hard.

It is still very rude to mention gifts in your invitation, and many people will be offended.  The fact that they are polite enough not to mention it doesn't change the fact that they are offended.  

Would you send your grandmother a Christmas card with a wish list in it?

jessicarabbit501

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_registry-etiquette-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0c71d873-7bb2-4efb-bbcc-2b57819c5128Post:08b5cc6c-9d1a-4c6c-b2d6-490b47b7d00c">Re: Registry etiquette</a>:
[QUOTE]It may be regional, cultural, or depend on how traditional your guests are, but even if it is considered rude it is certainly common practise to put a registry card in the invite.
Posted by APW2010[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I too have never received a wedding invitation that didn't include a registry card and I grew up and spent most of my life in a wealthy Southern California beach town where people definitely knew better and any faux paus of any sort was cause for exclusion from certain social sets.  I'd hardly refer to a registry card as a summons for a gift though, or a price for admission or anything else people here say it is.  It's always up to the guest whether or not to give the married couple a gift.  If you want to give a gift, then great, there's a little card that tells you where to get it.  If not, then don't get the couple a gift because you think that their inclusion of a registry card was so horrendously rude.  A little card in an invite is a faux paus, for sure, but is hardly the rudest thing a person can do.  Like it or not, it does seem to have become common practice so, OP, if you did do it, you'd hardly be alone.
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BoxOfRocks

Because there's no rule that says 1) guests are required to give gifts, 2) that the couple should register, or 3) that if a couple registers, that a gift must come from the registry.  Putting registry info on the invite means the couple expects gifts and mandates their source.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]SparrowSong   - Do you know where else I'm registered? I'm registered at two other places as well. Have fun finding them. And yes, while having one registry is just fine and dandy, it may not include everything that I would like, say what if I registered for Chine at another place because I didn't like BBB's China selection, what if I have a honeymoon registry? <strong>I'm not sure I'm going to have a wedding shower at all, and I don't really see how having a wedding shower and ASKING FOR GIFTS FOR YOUR WEDDING is any different than letting people know that you are registered someplace. How is, by everyone's opinion and expectation, a wedding shower not tacky and poor etiquette, since the WHOLE POINT is to get gifts? </strong>I think that this is a huge and silly double standard and that people get WAY to bent out of shape over it. Are you really going to get nasty with me because my friends and family would prefer me to include a registry card? The whole point of me posting on here was to understand why it is still considered poor etiquette, since I find it to be one of the more archaic rules of etiquette. I think it's amusing how many people on here who preach about how including a registry card is tacky and in poor taste are belittling other people about their opinions, is that not, in itself, tacky and rude? I don't understand how such a simple and silly question can bring out such nasty behavior in people who pride themselves on being proper. I was hoping to have an intelligent discussion with a few other fellow brides, not to be belittled and insulted for my own personal opinion, and for trying to come to a determination as to whether or not this is a route that I would like to go. Considering the attitude and rude words of many who are in favor of NOT putting a registry card in an invitation it has helped me decide that I will include one. I have realized that the people who would be seriously offended by such an action are mostly just hypocrites. Thank you all for helping me come to this decision.
Posted by alyciabaker[/QUOTE]

Because you don't host your own wedding shower, thus, you yourself are not asking for gifts for your wedding when you receive gifts at it (the shower).  There's no double standard and I'm not sure how you're thinking that there is one.