HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!

sboylan

Hi everyone!!

Hope you have a great Thanksgiving...I REALLY need your help before my invitations go out with the wrong time on them!

Take a look at our wedding day schedule:
4:30-5:00.......Ceremony
5:00-6:30.......Pictures and down time for guests
6:30-8:00.......Cocktail Hour
8:00-12:00.....Reception

Ok, so we are getting married in a church right across the street from our reception, which is in a hotel.  We planned the start of the cocktail hour when we did because my FI is dead set on getting all the pics, etc. done between 5:00 and 6:30 so we can join for most of our cocktail hour and mingle there since we are not doing a receiving line.  I'm really stressed about the hour and a half the guests have before the cocktail hour.

On the up side, MOST of our guests are staying overnight and maybe can use that time to check-in to the room and freshen up.  There is also a bar/sitting area in the lobby they can hang out at.  I guess I just don't want the guests hanging around or "over-served" since our cocktail hour is LONG but with TONS of food.

SO, do you think the hour and a half down time is a problem, or a welcomed break to go back to the hotel rooms/freshen up, or just catch up with other guests?  My FI has very strong opinions about this...

waltzingmatilda13

You need to cut out that break. Nobody appreciates a break between the ceremony and reception. So you and your FI need to decide to take pictures or attend the cocktail hour. You can't do both.

FutureMrsTR

I think your whole timeline is weird.  A random hour and a half where the guests have nothing to do?  A cocktail hour that's really a cocktail hour and a half?  I would push the ceremony back or bring the reception up to eliminate that weird gap.

Calypso1977

also, i've never understood the need to "freshen up".  who gets that dirty or tired sitting through a wedding ceremony?

shoegal715

The cocktail hour should start at 5 when you are taking pictures.  

Your timeline is weird and rude. As a guest, I would be very annoyed.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

The point of a cocktail hour is to give guests something to do while you take pictures. Start it at 5. If you want to attend your own cocktail hour, take pictures before the ceremony.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-cocktail-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d3d51fe-4deb-44b6-b5f9-4d3099ba0745Post:5588136a-08a2-4595-9103-146660309761">HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi everyone!! Hope you have a great Thanksgiving...I REALLY need your help before my invitations go out with the wrong time on them! Take a look at our wedding day schedule: 4:30-5:00.......Ceremony 5:00-6:30.......Pictures and down time for guests 6:30-8:00.......Cocktail Hour 8:00-12:00.....Reception Ok, so we are getting married in a church right across the street from our reception, which is in a hotel.  We planned the start of the cocktail hour when we did because my FI is dead set on getting all the pics, etc. done between 5:00 and 6:30 so we can join for most of our cocktail hour and mingle there since we are not doing a receiving line.  I'm really stressed about the hour and a half the guests have before the cocktail hour. On the up side, MOST of our guests are staying overnight and maybe can use that time to check-in to the room and freshen up.  There is also a bar/sitting area in the lobby they can hang out at.  I guess I just don't want the guests hanging around or "over-served" since our cocktail hour is LONG but with TONS of food. SO, do you think the hour and a half down time is a problem, or a welcomed break to go back to the hotel rooms/freshen up, or just catch up with other guests?  My FI has very strong opinions about this...
Posted by sboylan[/QUOTE]

I'm one of very few posters here that like having the gap, so I don't find it horrible.  But I am definitely in the minority on that, so i think you should work on your schedule.  Even I am put off that that you have an hour and a half in between with no travel time.  Usually part of the time for the gap is travel time, and you don't have that.  You need to settle on either not doing so long for pictures in between, or missing your cocktail hour. 

Also, you can't have a long gap, and an hour and a half cocktail hour, and then hope people don't get "over-served."  If I was staying at the hotel, or even if I lived locally, I would probably leave your ceremony and go sit at the hotel bar for the hour and a half, then go to your hour and a half long cocktail hour.  Because I wouldn't drive home if I was already there. 

PsyDet 2155

I'd start the cocktail hour right after the ceremony.  Your guests don't need "down time."  Is this gap so you can take pictures?  FI and I are avoiding a gap because we think it's rude so we're taking photos beforehand so we can spend cocktail hour with our guests.

sboylan

Thanks girls!!  This has been eating me up for weeks!

[Deleted User]

I agree with everyone else. Recently my FI and I attended a wedding where there was a 3 hour gap between church and reception. For several reasons we decided to just attend the reception but if there had not been that gap we would have been able to attend both.

dnbeach hit the nail on the head. Breaks between ceremony and reception are generally for travel, no travel = no break.

sister2groom

Take all your photos that don't have the bride and groom before the ceremony. Take pictures after the ceremony for an hour (not 1 1/2 hrs) and then you can make it for the tail end of your cocktail "hour." I agree the cocktail is for your guests to have something to do whil you take pictures. If you make them wait 1 1/2 hrs to start a 1 1/2 hour cocktail "hour" they're going to be starving.

Summer2011Bride

I agree the time gap is weird, esp. because it's over a meal time. As a guest, I would be starved, and seeing that empty 1.5 hours, would frankly go get dinner somewhere! I think serving dinner at 8 is a little late too. People will just overeat on apps b/c they are starving and not eat any of the great food you bought for dinner. I would move cocktail up to 5, start dinner by 7 at the latest. Do pics before the ceremony, or skip out on cocktails. Are your pics near the reception venue? We are getting pics done outside our reception venue and my mom offered to bring us out some apps so we can try them. That is an option.

jemmini6

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-cocktail-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d3d51fe-4deb-44b6-b5f9-4d3099ba0745Post:07e1e3b6-858b-4263-a4ec-a563d51c09bb">Re: HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!</a>:
[QUOTE]The point of a cocktail hour is to give guests something to do while you take pictures. Start it at 5. If you want to attend your own cocktail hour, take pictures before the ceremony.
Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]


This!  The whole point of a cocktail hour is to fill that awkward gap while you are taking pictures.  If you aren't doing a receiving line, just make extra time to go around your reception and thank everyone.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

Oh, yeah, and you don't have to greet people at your cocktail hour. I'm sure you'll miss a lot of people doing it that way. We didn't do a receiving line and we did table visits during our reception. We did 5 tables after the salad course and 4 tables after the soup course. Then we did our first dance after the main course.

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_time-between-ceremony-cocktail-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d3d51fe-4deb-44b6-b5f9-4d3099ba0745Post:73f4ccfa-d3ea-4d79-bba3-c436ceb05084">Re: HELP!! Time between ceremony and cocktail hour?!</a>:
[QUOTE]Oh, yeah, and you don't have to greet people at your cocktail hour. I'm sure you'll miss a lot of people doing it that way. We didn't do a receiving line and we did table visits during our reception. Posted by msmerymac[/QUOTE]

Ditto.  We didn't do any receiving line, at church or the reception, because its basically impossible to guarantee you'll see everyone.  We did our table visits in between courses and were able to get through every table, and we had I think 26 tables.  After our first dance we did about 5 tables, then had our salads, then did about 8 more tables.   After our entrees, we walked around to the rest of the room and got the other half of the tables.  It worked out great, and we were able to talk to everyone. 

palegirl146

It's your wedding, so do whatever you want.  Just be prepared for what is likely to happen based on your timeline.  If I were invited to your wedding I would probably be very frustrated and leave early.  In fact, I typically get bored after about 4-5 hours and am ready to go after that, which puts me leaving your wedding celebration before dinner is even served!  ouch!  I would probably be frustrated at having to wait around for an hour and a half, and then starving for cocktail hour, so I'd probably eat, say hello, and disappear.  I'm guessing others would do the same, and by the time you are ready to make your grand exit, you wouldn't have many guests there to wave you off.  It's a matter of what is most important to you and your FI.  If pictures are the most important thing, then your guests can suffer, but if celebrating your wedding with all your friends and family is more important than pictures, it would be much better to miss the cocktail hour and enjoy the reception (and you still get the pictures!)

mattycam

Get rid of the down time!