wording help for ornament shower

AndBabyWouldMake5

Help this moh with new mommy brain...

My sister is traveling to NY from SD for her shower so although it might be bad ettiquette we need to have the gifts sent to her not brought to the shower.  To avoid directly saying that I'm going to throw her an ornament shower so she has something to open at the party and I can afford to ship those back to SD for her.  I need help wording the part about the ornament part.

Also, on the registry card how should I word the part about if they want to give a gift other than the ornament about sending it directly to her?

If it helps the shower theme is Gone With the Wind.

freebread03

Unfortunately, the point of a shower is to open gifts, so sending them to her house instead of having them at the shower defeats the purpose.  Shipping isn't THAT expensive, especially when you use UPS or USPS ground.

I'm failing to see the link between ornaments and gone with the wind...and I have no idea what I'd buy for a gone with the wind shower.  Sapphire Velvet Curtains?

thurmanpowell

... What's an ornament shower?

Also, most of TK is probably going to tell you not to put anything about gifts on there, as it's impolite to assume that guests will bring gifts (even though most of them will).

Maybe mention on the invitation that she will be travelling from OOT and hope that the guests realize they shouldn't bring gifts that need to be shipped on their own. I definitely wouldn't include a registry card. Not only can it be seen as rude, but that will just encourage them to buy things which need to be shipped!

If guests call you and ask where she is registered (and they will if you don't include cards) simply mention that she is traveling and they should get the hint to do gift cards or the ornament thing (whatever that is).

freebread03

Hey Thurman, its a SHOWER.  The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, so yeah, its ok to put where she's registered.  That being said, it's not really a shower if there's nothing to open, so she really shouldn't be having one if she's asking that gifts be shipped instead of brought to the actual shower.

Reading comprehension fail.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:47519243-e1a1-441f-8e2a-ffea604078d0">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey Thurman, its a SHOWER.  The point of a shower is to "shower" the bride with gifts, so yeah, its ok to put where she's registered.  That being said, it's not really a shower if there's nothing to open, so she really shouldn't be having one if she's asking that gifts be shipped instead of brought to the actual shower. Reading comprehension fail.
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]


I'm sorry to somehow have offended you?

lol, I'm not contradicting what you wrote at all. If anything, I'm AGREEING that they should not tell people what to bring based on shipping. The registry card part was pointing out that you shoudn't tell people you want a bunch of things which would have to be shipped if you don't want to pay for shipping. Trust me, people can shower you with gifts without you telling them which cake dome you want.

go ahead and unwad your panties.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:c9fd0a77-c44e-4c19-8264-ee11f85ff354">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wording help for ornament shower : I'm sorry to somehow have offended you? lol, I'm not contradicting what you wrote at all. If anything, I'm AGREEING that they should not tell people what to bring based on shipping. go ahead and unwad your panties.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

I'm quite sure you didn't offend her one bit, and you are not agreeing at all. You are misunderstanding completely.

A shower is just that, a shower, the purpose is to give gifts. You are confusing wedding invitation etiquette with shower. It's expected to asks for gifts and even to put registry information on the invite.

kd.joseph

OP- I really think most people will understand she is traveling and most likely ship their presents anyway. As far as the ornament thing, I'm not really sure how to approach that.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:5e8a8b0f-dc8a-46a7-9d3a-7329112476cc">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wording help for ornament shower : I'm quite sure you didn't offend her one bit, and you are not agreeing at all. You are misunderstanding completely. A shower is just that, a shower, the purpose is to give gifts. You are confusing wedding invitation etiquette with shower. It's expected to asks for gifts and even to put registry information on the invite.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]


She wrote quite the agressive reply for someone who's not offended.

Anyhow, did you actually have an answer for the OP?

My answer is for them to not expressly state that they don't want to pay for shipping and I suggested some ways they could avoid that without just saying "we don't want to pay to ship your gift." What's her face the PP stated that they shouldn't say they don't want to ship anything so they can have a "showering."

Our reasons are different but our advice was the same. Don't ask people not to bring gifts just to save on shipping.

kd.joseph

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:b2af9037-6290-44ad-94d3-7ced5cba543f">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wording help for ornament shower : She wrote quite the agressive reply for someone who's not offended. Anyhow, did you actually have an answer for the OP? My answer is for them to not expressly state that they don't want to pay for shipping and I suggested some ways they could avoid that without just saying "we don't want to pay to ship your gift." What's her face the PP stated that they shouldn't say they don't want to ship anything so they can have a "showering." Our reasons are different but our advice was the same. Don't ask people not to bring gifts just to save on shipping.
Posted by thurmanpowell[/QUOTE]

She was aggressive because your advice kind of sucks. So there is that.

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:90041641-2584-4ad3-8f4d-8ec310819ece">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: wording help for ornament shower : She was aggressive because your advice kind of sucks. So there is that.
Posted by kd.joseph[/QUOTE]


lol, ok. That's fine. I fail to see how She (or you) couldn't just say, "I disagree with the PP. I would do this: blah blah."

Wow that's easy.

DramaGeek

I would invite people to an ornament shower and invite them to help your sister and her Fi decorate their first tree as a married couple, then fail to include the registery information.

AlexaNP

I've never been to an ornament shower, but I've been to baby showers where there was a request to bring a book instead of a card, and bridal showers where there was a request to bring an item for the bride's pantry or to bring the bride a recipe.  I'm guessing it would be similar to this.  Maybe if you google ideas people used for these, it could give you some inspiration on how to change them to work with the ornament idea, as well.

freebread03

Alright, chill out Thurman, your advice sucked.  Happy now?  Trust me, my panties aren't "in a bunch" over your bad advice and I'm certainly not offended.  Confused by your response maybe, but not offended.

Oh, I didn't say I disagree with your advice like you suggested I should have because it's not about agreeing or disagreeing when someone is flat out wrong on a fact.

OP, you could certainly do an ornament shower, that would be cute actually.  But it probably doesn't fit with the Gone with the Wind Theme, and you shouldn't include registry information if you are hoping people bring ornaments (bc then you'll end up with blenders and toasters, which you're trying to avoid).

thurmanpowell

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_wording-help-for-ornament-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0d4a5bdd-231c-4cab-9a55-c095c0fbe336Post:f308c3e4-94cf-4b19-9caa-3e6e36bbd6fb">Re: wording help for ornament shower</a>:
[QUOTE]Alright, chill out Thurman, your advice sucked.  Happy now?  Trust me, my panties aren't "in a bunch" over your bad advice and I'm certainly not offended.  Confused by your response maybe, but not offended. Oh, I didn't say I disagree with your advice like you suggested I should have because it's not about agreeing or disagreeing when someone is flat out wrong on a fact. OP, you could certainly do an ornament shower, that would be cute actually.  But it probably doesn't fit with the Gone with the Wind Theme, and you shouldn't include registry information if you are hoping people bring ornaments (bc then you'll end up with blenders and toasters, which you're trying to avoid).
Posted by freebread03[/QUOTE]

"Oh, I didn't say I disagree with your <strong>advice</strong> like you suggested I should have because it's not about agreeing or disagreeing when someone is flat out wrong on a <strong>fact</strong>."


..........

Also, your last sentence is exactly my advice, lol.

Tami87

So I think previous posters gave you good advice if you are set on the ornament shower, but I wanted to add that I also traveled for my shower that my husband's family threw and received "traditional" shower gifts and it ended up working out.

I ended up brining an extra suitcase for unbreakable things like towels and sheets that could survive the plane trip home. Everything else ended up staying at my in-laws and then after the wedding we returned all the gifts we couldn't transport. Macys was willing to ship us the same items that we returned from our local store, and for target we just got a gift card and rebought everything once we got home. This ended up being way easier and cheaper than trying to ship everything ourselves. So this may be an option if guests don't think to ship gifts.

hoffse

I've been to an ornament shower - they're really cute.  The bride at that shower was moving to England, so we did ornaments for her tree and our favorite holiday recipe.  She was getting married right before Christmas, so it was very thematic and festive.

OP, just call it an ornament shower, and if she gets anything else (she won't - the bride at the ornament shower I attended didnt) she just needs to be prepared to ship it back.  It won't be more than a couple items.

I also don't get how ornaments go with Gone with the Wind.  Are we talking movie or book?  Because the book was way better.  She had like 4 children with multiple men - and then there was that scene where she turned pseudo hooker to try to seduce Rhett because she was determined not to starve.  You can't show that in 1930s hollywood.

DramaGeek

Somehow I missed the GWTW sentence.  Yeah, I'd scrap that and make the theme "Christmas in October" since you're doing ornaments.

reppunzel

When I've been to a theme shower, (spice, recipe, kitchen gadget), whatever the specified thing is (in this case the ornament) is the shower gift ... it is brought in place of (not in addition to) a traditional gift off of the registry.  That could be a regional thing, but, based on that, I would say something like what PP have suggested:

"You're invited to a 'Christmas at Tara' (that was the mansion's name, right?) afternoon.
We'll enjoy festive goodies and merry moments as we shower Bride with ornaments that she and Groom can enjoy on their tree for years to come."  No mention of a registry or shipping gifts.

I do think you need to either connect the ornament part directly with the movie/book or just choose one (holidays) or the other (GWTW) as the theme. 


 

hoffse

This is probably unhelpful, but when I read Christmas with Tara I think of cold, starvation, and people dying from hunger and disease.  But that's just me - and it's not because of that title, it's because the entire book was one hardship after another (don't get me wrong - it's on my top 10 favorites list, I'm just saying).  I would ditch the GWTW theme and just make it festive and christmassy.  Not to get all interpretive here, but Scarlett's marriage streak was pretty bad.  The movie was all about nostalgia and strength in the face of adversity or whatever, but the book was really about willful ignorance and leaning into your baser instincts for the sake of survival.  Unless it's the bride's favorite thing ever, I just don't see it.