Please give me your opinion! Is this tacky?

rkw0717

We are having an outdoor wedding for our ceremony and a dinner reception off-site at an indoor facility.

For the dinner we are having a bbq buffet that consists of brisket, German sausage, baked beans, cole slaw, potato salad , rolls, cobbler and water and tea. A well known bbq caterer in our area is who we've hired so we know the food will be delish!

Our venue is BYOB and we will be providing wine, beer and some champagne.

We are paying for the wedding ourselves and expecting around 120 people. We have already reached our maximum amount without going over budget and still have to buy all of the utensils and glasses/cups that will be used. (Our caterer only provides the white, flimsy foam plates/paper cups). We know we can't afford to buy/rent the utensils/cups for each place setting, so we've decided to go with the clear, plastic scrollware (you can buy at Sam's or online) and the plastic snap together wine glasses/drinking cups.

I was running everything by a friend of mine and she basically said having a bbq (and buffet at that) along with using the clea scroll plasticware was extremely tacky and she would never go that route. I've only been to 2 weddings and of course both brides had a ton of money to spend so of course I'm now worried about what everyone will think. We're cutting corners as much as we can without overdoing it and a friend of ours that gets huge discounts through the company he works for is helping us with buying all of the alcohol.

Is this tacky to have at a wedding? I know I shouldn't base everything on what everyone else thinks but now I can't help but wonder if my friend is right?

Please be gentle. lol

aragx6

What you have planned sounds absolutely fine -- I bet it will be a lot of fun and your food sounds great. As long as you are properly hosting your guests and not expecting them to open their wallets up for anything at your reception, then you are good to go.

Also, your friend sounds like a huge biitch.

crash2729

I don't think it's tacky TBH. You're hosting all your guests at the end of the day..no one will care what their plate was made out of.

violet355

as long as you didn't have paper plates, and garbage cans on the dance floor for cleaning up your plate like my friend's sister did at her reception then you're ok.  (they also had some totally inappropriate song choices in my opinion also...but i'm not a fan of break-up songs at my wedding) 

some people will judge, but hey, it's your wedding, and you do what you can afford.  if your friend wants to chip in to rent better plates and glassware then she can.

adamar15

If people care that much what they're eating off of they need to take a second and reevaluate their priorities.  I think what you have sounds fine for a casual BBQ wedding.  But then again I'm so classy that I didn't even bother with the plastic wine glasses.  It was solo cups all the way.

Maggie0829

No, I do not think it is tacky at all.  My only suggestion is to make sure you buy/rent decent flatware.  There is nothing worse then trying to cut meat with a crappy plastic knife.

You need to do what is within your budget. You are not making any faux pas because you are hosting your guests well. 

The only time that this would be remotely tacky is if your wedding was fancy shmancy everywhere else and then you decided to scrimp on the tableware to save a few bucks.

krizzo17

One of the best, happiest weddings I ever went to was a backyard barbeque. Everyone loved the food, everyone danced, and everyone had a great time. Tell your friend to stay home.

adamar15

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-give-me-your-opinion-is-this-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0dcb8c4c-82b5-4bf6-aa96-a15a3cc6ef5bPost:7ed537d5-0048-4b3a-b2b4-c83752670715">Re: Please give me your opinion! Is this tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>as long as you didn't have paper plates, and garbage cans on the dance floor for cleaning up your plate</strong> like my friend's sister did at her reception then you're ok.  (they also had some totally inappropriate song choices in my opinion also...but i'm not a fan of break-up songs at my wedding)  some people will judge, but hey, it's your wedding, and you do what you can afford.  if your friend wants to chip in to rent better plates and glassware then she can.
Posted by violet355[/QUOTE]

Yeah, because there's such a huge difference between paper and plastic plates.  There are nice and flimsy versions of both.  And it's really that hard to throw your plate in a trash can? 

strlzfan11

I was just at a wedding this weekend that used plastic utensils and plates.  I didn't think a thing of it.  The plates they purchased actually looked like fancy china plates.

lyndausvi

I don't think it's tacky.  It's an outside wedding.    

My only opinion is make sure the plates and silverware are sturdy enough.   There is nothing worse than having your fork or knife go through a plate or break while trying to cut meat.  Or bbq sauce seeping through.  Or not being able to hold heavy foods.    Those are they things I worry about. 

LDYGTR13

I had a buffet bbq wedding using clear cups (they weren't the snap together kind though - just like clear solo cups), clear silverware and plates I bought at Sams, not clear scroll stuff, but this  http://www.acemart.com/prod110810016.html?cm_ven=thefind&cm_cat=Non-Cost_Listings&cm_pla=1&cm_ite=FIN510-WH

I dressed up the silverware by wrapping it in a napkin and then tying wedding colored ribbon around them, but if I hadn't, I don't think it would have been a big deal. 

AllAboutTheBenjamin

Your friend can eat a diick, what you have planned sounds fine.

FWIW, we had a buffet at our reception but it was still a big "fancy" to-do wedding, and we used plastic plates and utensils.  The plates were black and the utensils were slivery-colored, so they looked nice - but they were plastic.  We even handed out plastic champagne flutes for toasting.

sleepyb

We've decided to go with the fancy plastic plates and utensils.  My caterer is coming from a different state so won't be bringing china.  I looked into renting plates and silverware.  $.35 for each piece.  That makes one table setting $2 or more.  We'd be looking at almost $1000 total.  No thanks.  No one is going to care about the plates because the yummy food on the plate is all they will be able to focus on.

Go with what you were thinking before the crazy lady said anything.

SEWF

My family catered my wedding (my aunt and uncle do catering, they offered, and were slightly offended that I had started looking for other options). They just went to Costco and got plastic everything. There are actually some very nice looking plastic plates out there, specifically for this purpose. My H's family is more wealthy and are used to high dining (nicest, most humble people in the world, just well off), and afterwards my MIL told me sincerely how wonderful everything looked and tasted.

Go with the plastic and tell your friend to shove it.

kroot87

I don't think that's tacky at all. You're properly hosting your guests, and some of the most fun weddings I've been to have had the backyard bbq vibe. Your friend is a biitch.

StephBeanWed61502

What you have planned sounds perfectly fine, and your friend is being a jerk.  The only thing I'd say is your menu sounds heavy on the meat - you might want to add an option or two for vegetarians (if your guest list includes any).

egm900

I think that sounds fine, as long as it is sturdy plasticware.  We went to a wedding recently that had a very similar menu, and they used plasticware and I didn't think anything of it.  I think the silver plastic utensils are a little nicer than the clear ones, but if they cost more, I wouldn't worry about it.  

In New Orleans it's very common to serve wine in the 8 oz clear plastic cups if you don't have enough wine glasses, even at nicer events.  I think it's probably because the snap together wine glasses aren't as stable, and if they break they're a pain to clean up (they almost shatter and the pieces are really sharp).

RebeccaB88

If you were serving me prime rib and lobster, then I'd probably wonder why you were putting them on plastic or paper plates.  However, with what you're doing and serving, the nice plastic stuff sounds just fine to me.  I mean, it's a barbecue.  I do recommend getting the sturdiest plasticware you can find, though.  The cheap stuff just breaks too easily.  Oh, and your friend sounds like a snot.  Ignore her.

blgrout

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-give-me-your-opinion-is-this-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0dcb8c4c-82b5-4bf6-aa96-a15a3cc6ef5bPost:85862ded-2f4f-49d6-b3e2-a8d614f1eadb">Re: Please give me your opinion! Is this tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]If you were serving me prime rib and lobster, then I'd probably wonder why you were putting them on plastic or paper plates.  However, with what you're doing and serving, the nice plastic stuff sounds just fine to me.  I mean, it's a barbecue.  I do recommend getting the sturdiest plasticware you can find, though.  The cheap stuff just breaks too easily.  Oh, and your friend sounds like a snot.  Ignore her.
Posted by RebeccaB88[/QUOTE]

took the words out of my mouth.

pkontk

Your reception sounds awesome!  Screw your friend.  At a backyard BBQ reception I would find it odd to be using glass plates and metal silverware, it would feel out of place.

wrigleyville

I would be pumped to go to a wedding with awesome BBQ. PUMPED. Your wedding sounds like fun.

polichik

Wow, I judge your friend for being a little piece of work. Who says something like that to a friend, even of they think it? Anyway, I'd have more fun at your wedding than I would some big, stuffy affair. The only think I'd mention is to consider having a few veggie burgers if there are any vegetarians in your crowd. I could survive off starches for the night, but I'd be really grateful for some protein. If your guests are all meat eaters, though, you're golden!

pokepoke27

Your friend sounds like my FMILs friend that told her that carnations are the "poor persons rose". Lame.

If you were having a black tie wedding I could see it being a problem. You're not, you'll be fine. Sounds like a lovely wedding.

rkw0717

Thank you all! The scroll plasticware/utensils we are using is the sturdy stuff (definitely don't need bbq all over the place and our guests!). Yea, this friend of mine is a childhood friend and always has to out-do me no matter what. I just let her go on and spend all her money because at the end of the day, it's just that...money. I usually don't let her opinions influence my decisions but for some reason I started thinking about it and didnt' want it to look trashy or like I didn't take the time to try and make an effort with the plates/cups/utensils. For what our budget is, we actually did pretty well with paying for everything and making it as nice as we could. I just knew I definitely didn't want to have the white foam/paper plates and cups my caterer supplies lol (they do more reunions/company picnics than weddings).

chumlee7478

Oh please. My husband would be all over that BBQ reception, even if it meant bringing his own plates and utensils.  You're hosting your guests properly.  That's all that matters.  If you're using sturdy plates and utensils, no one will care.  We went to one last summer in the bride's best friend's back yard.  Every table had extra utensils, napkins, wet wipes, bug spray, citronella candles, etc.   We were more than fine, and very well hosted.  Your friend can shove it!!!!!

JaD1013

Hey, first post here but this made me so mad I had to comment! I've only been to 6 weddings, but they've run the gamut as far as expenses go (as in: Country Club, 5 course meal, 300 guest to 50 people at their parent's home). The only bad experience I ever had was because we had to wait 2 hours for a scheduled 1 hr break btwn ceremony and reception. They took extra photos last minute and the food was all cold by the time they got there. No music or anything.
At least 2 weddings used plasticware and I never even thought about it until now.
It's about how you host, not what you host with

ceceibson

We met with our caterer yesterday.  Our reception is also outdoors, by the Lake where we vacation.  Our menu is similar to the OP's.  We HAVE to use plastic plates, etc.  We can - and will - use cloth table linens, but the rest has to be plastic.  If using plastic is tacky, at least I can blame my venue, LOL.

I agree with the others - what's tacky is disregarding your guests' comfort, particularly in favor of you own.  OP, you're most certainly not doing that.  I think your plan sounds fun, laid back, casual and user-friendly.

mbrischoux

Tacky is a friend telling you your wedding is tacky when she probably knows that you are on a budget.

That said - YOU are not being tacky.

You are also service yummy-delicous sounding food.  Bon appetit!

beautifulvice

It's not tacky at all.  You're hosting what you can afford and making sure all your guests are well fed and comfortable. 

Also, your reception menu sounds delish!

future+mrs+rowland2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_please-give-me-your-opinion-is-this-tacky?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:0dcb8c4c-82b5-4bf6-aa96-a15a3cc6ef5bPost:b95d687a-f168-4522-8a85-95feb9de9dce">Re: Please give me your opinion! Is this tacky?</a>:
[QUOTE]What you have planned sounds absolutely fine -- I bet it will be a lot of fun and your food sounds great. As long as you are properly hosting your guests and not expecting them to open their wallets up for anything at your reception, then you are good to go. Also, your friend sounds like a huge biitch.
Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]


We are doing the same thing. Not tacky at all... I bet in 10 years it won't be the clear plastic plates anyone remembers! And I completely agree... your friend sounds like a total bitch!