Dead mom, no family

LadyMorrgian

Ok so my mom died years ago and I live in NY while my "family" is in MI or TX.

My family and I are on very tentitive terms and my father is not a person I particualerly like...at all.  I dont even know if my kin would come to NY for a wedding, I don't think so.

Since I am going to be paying for it. Just me, no future inlays, finace is on disability, can I just put my mom on the invite and be done with it. Shes the only parent who ever gave a darn,

ThePinkSuperhero

Would leaving him off cause further harm to your relationship?  If so, you might as well just put him on there, along with your Mom ("LadyMorrgian, daughter of Fred Morrgian and the late Sally Morgian").

dianenjnj

no, you can't have a deceased person host a wedding....by putting her name on the invite that's what is meant.

you can put your and your fi's name on the invite...ie:  jane smith and joe doe invite you to celebrate the joy of our marriage, etc.

or if the wedding is formal

jane smith and joe doe request the honour of your presence at the celebration of their marriage, etc.

i had the same situation and that's what we did.

brookelynpaisley

Agreed. Deceased parents can't host a wedding. I'd word the invitation to indicate that you and your FI are hosting and then do something special to commemorate your mom, such as something on your program, a memoriam table, a special flower in your bouquet, etc.

redheadfsu

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_dead-mom-family?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0e957fe2-20b4-4da3-bec1-245d94bbdabbPost:90ea5cf7-47f0-4074-88fc-704045436e8c">Re: Dead mom, no family</a>:
[QUOTE]no, you can't have a deceased person host a wedding....by putting her name on the invite that's what is meant.
Posted by dianenjnj[/QUOTE]

Nope the first line is who hosts. Now Emily post discourages putting a deceased parent on the invite (b/c this is a joyful event, not a sad one). But...
 
If the bride & groom are paying then you can do:
Bride
Daughter of father & the late mother
and
Groom
Son of father & mother
requests the honor of ..

(If you want to just remove your father's name it will be a big insult because everyone will know you dislike your father enough to do this.)

squirrly

It really sounds like it would be best for you to word your invite something like this:

Suzy Smith
and
John Brown
request the pleasure of your company
at their marriage
Saturday the day of Month
half after hour o'clock in the evening
Venue Name
City, State

You can include a memorial to your mother in the program if you wish.  However, your invites are not the right place to mention the deceased - regardless of how well loved they might be.  And, they're not the right place to publicize a family feud with your father either.

Shawnee11507

I would just put you and FIs names, but youcould also  just put "Bride and Groom, together with their parents, invite you..." and not put specific names

Sue_sue

Sad as it is that your mother has gone, she cannot issue invitations. This would be creepy; and you do not want to use your mother's name and memory to creep people out. 

You COULD put her on the invitation in a "Jane Doe, daughter of the late Jennifer Doe, and Alex Franklin, son of Bob and Marie Franklin, request the honor of your presence at their marriage on the blank day of blank". 

danieliza1127

I'm with Squirrly.  You don't have to list parent names on the invitation at all if you're hosting and paying and in your case, that seems like the thing to do.