E question regarding bparty

SB1512

So my wedding is a ways off but due to one of my BMs being out of state and in a doctorate program and me being in the thesis year of my masters program and working a lot of per diem stuff on weekends my mom and BMs want to lock down the date for a shower within the next month or so. Because I have one BM out of state and she really wants to come to the bparty both events will must likely occur in the same weekend, which is fine and makes sense to me to save the BM from having to fly up here multiple times.

My sister is pretty adamant on an overnight at a casino for my bparty with the location being about an hour away from where we live and where the shower is. Personally, I feel if they go that route the weekend is going to feel very hectic and rushed because we will be waking up early Sunday morning so we can shower, change, eat and drive back so the the BMs can meet my mom to decorate. Not to mention I think it might be rude if myself and my BMs are dying in a corner at the shower because we are exhausted/hungover.....I honestly prob won't drink because I sometimes get really sick whether I've had 1 drink or 5 so I don't want to risk being sick from alcohol the day of the shower.

Logistically it just makes more sense to me if they either plan a daytime party Saturday at or if they want to keep it a nighttime thing going out somewhere closer to home so Sunday morning isn't such an early start. I know you can't plan your own party but do you think this is a point worth addressing? I always joke that I am a 28 year old in a elderly woman's body, late nights are tough for me and I'm not a happy camper on a few hours of sleep and I just want to make sure I'm not cranky and coming across as miserable to the shower guests because there was a super late night followed by a much to early morning.

Thoughts? I am extremely thankful they are offering to do this and I don't want to sound ungrateful I just think certain people are overlooking logistical and practical elements that go along with cramming everything in one weekend. Also sorry if the mobile site posts this without the spaces and paragraphs I made!!

gurrlballa10

Why not have the shower during the day on Saturday and then you would be able to grab dinner and do the casino thing Saturday night?

SB1512

Because I think out of state BM has a class/clinical until noon on Saturdays that she cannot miss so I don't think she'll be getting here until late afternoon early evening and my mom doesn't want her to miss the shower since she's one of the hosts

MrsGandthebeag

I think it's fine to express your concerns without coming across as "this is what we're doing x, y, z."  You should have some input as the bride.  

SB1512

Thank you. And it's like that I don't want to do the casino, I really do because we were gonna do high roller bowling after dinner!! I just know that A. I couldn't call it quits by 11 or 12 so I could get enough sleep and B. the whole thing will just feel really rushed since we'd have to travel back early Sunday morning. If they keep it at night but stay local I could def make it until last call and still be well rested for Sunday

Kate61487

I think it's fine to let them know that you'd prefer something in town and to tell them why, but if it comes down to it and your friends are dead set on throwing it their way you either accept it or decline the party.  Hopefully they won't push so hard though.

SB1512

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_e-question-regarding-bparty?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:0f1a53fe-4d64-4ac0-ae63-5a9bee277373Post:4e65e4ce-7fcb-4dee-ab20-e1be4f266621">Re: E question regarding bparty</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine to let them know that you'd prefer something in town and to tell them why, but if it comes down to it and your friends are dead set on throwing it their way you either accept it or decline the party.  <strong>Hopefully they won't push so hard though.</strong>
Posted by Kate61487[/QUOTE]

Well, I have one BM who uses a phrase I pretty much despise (it's your day, it should be all about you, etc), but because she feels this way I know that if I express how I feel to her she'll pass those thoughts along to the other girls.  The obstacle is pretty much my sister who I get the inkling has very specific ideas/ideals about how things should go (I have mentioned going the vineyard for the day and just eating/enjoying wine and she said, "that is fine for a birthday party, not a bachelorrette party"  I however see nothing wrong with it and think it would be fun and relaxing).