a

emill040

a

M&R7111

If you're inviting your guests and a plus 1 for a date, and this particular guest is currently in a relationship with her, I don't see any way to avoid this.

How big is your wedding?  Chances are you won't even notice she's there.

JadziaDax

What exactly does this girl do to get under your skin? You have a while until your wedding- your profile says May 2011. At that point, she may not even be dating the family member anymore. Maybe you can talk to her and clear things up before the wedding, if it will make things easier.
I don't know how your FI feels about having her there, but I wouldn't spend too much time stressing over her. You said you have been debating for some time about posting this question and you are stressed over the issue. I'm sorry you feel that way, and again, please don't spend too much time worrying about this girl. You should be having fun planning the wedding and focusing on more important things.

JadziaDax

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_caught-middle-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:10098f50-0392-4699-8b66-7cd6c0c4d693Post:898d8a92-e8c3-4b1b-92ee-ee9612b19fa3">Re: caught in the middle...</a>:
[QUOTE]All I heard was "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

LOL. That was so mean!

eastunder1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_caught-middle-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10098f50-0392-4699-8b66-7cd6c0c4d693Post:898d8a92-e8c3-4b1b-92ee-ee9612b19fa3">Re: caught in the middle...</a>:
[QUOTE]All I heard was "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

This should be a bumper sticker. 

jasmineh7777

I don't see a way around inviting her. If you try to not invite her, it sounds like you will end up looking bad. So, kill her with kindness. And also, I doubt she is in a relationship with someone just to get under your skin.

mica178

I love Brooke!

saschaduran

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_caught-middle-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10098f50-0392-4699-8b66-7cd6c0c4d693Post:898d8a92-e8c3-4b1b-92ee-ee9612b19fa3">Re: caught in the middle...</a>:
[QUOTE]All I heard was "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

<div>If she is a tramp for dating a friend's ex, then the ex is a bigger tramp for dating her ex's family member.  </div><div>
</div><div>
</div>

Noellesmama

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_caught-middle-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:10098f50-0392-4699-8b66-7cd6c0c4d693Post:898d8a92-e8c3-4b1b-92ee-ee9612b19fa3">Re: caught in the middle...</a>:
[QUOTE]All I heard was "blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tramp"
Posted by brookelynpaisley[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>Wowzas! LOL...funny, but a little harsh!</div><div>
</div><div>As others have said kill her with kindness and just enjoy your day :)</div>

kayboo1218

Well... I hate to be catty but....if she really is as evil as you say, I take that as she is still bitter about being dumped by your FI (I'm assuming he dumped her b/c I dont' see why she would be bitter over someone she herself dumped). Soooo in order to dull the sting of having to invite her, try thinking about how much it will probably "get under her skin" to have to sit and watch as FI marries you and not her...

Yes, this is evil.....and I'm just making assumptions based on what you posted....but hey, like I said if she REALLY is as bad as you say, I wouldn't feel bad about it.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]In Response to Re: caught in the middle... : If she is a tramp for dating a friend's ex, then the ex is a bigger tramp for dating her ex's family member.  
Posted by saschaduran[/QUOTE]

Yep.

skippylouwho

I didn't get tramp at all from the original post.  To me it reads that OP started dating the guy quite awhile after he broke up with this girl.  I don't get tramp out of that.

Beachy730

Unless your MIL is paying for the wedding or the reception part of it, there is no need to invite everyone on her guest list.  I think you are well within your rights to say we are not inviting any exes to our wedding.  However, if she is still dating this family member by the time your wedding comes around and invites are sent out, then she can be invited as his guest only, not on her own.  Unfortunately, by that time it will be considered a long-term relationship and that family member should be given a guest to bring her.  As much as it sucks for you, there really is nothing you can do about it.  I was in a sort of similar situation.  One of H's exes I had known since high school and never liked (well before I knew him or knew that they dated).  When we started dating she was horrible and would call and text him all the time, even in the middle of the night.  He would joke with me before we got engaged, knowing how much I disliked her, and would say he wanted to invite her to the wedding, which I would refuse to do.  Luckily he never brought it up once we were seriously planning, but I knew that some friends of his knew this girl, and just prayed that nobody brought her as their date.

Don't do anything about it now.  Even if you send out STD's she doesn't need to get one.  If she is still dating that family member you invite her as his guest, if not you don't invite her at all.  And is she is there, as PP said, think of how much more it is going to kill her to see you marrying him.  Trust me, you won't even know she is there, unless of course she stands up at the ceremony and tries to stop the wedding!

Calypso1977

this is what happens when you let parents do the inviting to your wedding.  its your wedding, the guest list should be about who you and your groom want there, not who your parents want there.  but, i'm guessing they are giving you money, which no one ever seems to say "no" to, so now you are stuck.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]I didn't get tramp at all from the original post.  To me it reads that OP started dating the guy quite awhile after he broke up with this girl.  I don't get tramp out of that.
Posted by skippylouwho[/QUOTE]

You're right. What I got from saschaduran's comment was more like '<strong>IF </strong>OPs actions make her a tramp, then what about the ex's actions?'

saschaduran

Yes, that is exactly what I meant kathryn.  I didn't get tramp at all either.  But IF we are calling anyone a tramp it would have to be the ex.  

She never said it was a best friend, just a mutual friend.  And many times high school relationships are so 'high school".  That girl cannot stake her claim in him forever because of it.  But I am not a very judgy person when it comes to stuff like that.  Each situation is different.

cengle

That line "All I heard was 'blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tram'" is from Mr. Deeds.  I don't think Brooke was actually calling OP a dirty tramp.

kathrynhabibti

[QUOTE]That line "All I heard was 'blah blah blah, I'm a dirty tram'" is from Mr. Deeds.  I don't think Brooke was actually calling OP a dirty tramp.
Posted by cengle[/QUOTE]

Oh! Hah, I fell asleep during that movie.