Venting-don't care

conanabanana02

I have zero interest in planning our wedding. I asked fi early on if he wanted to just get married JOP style or have the party. He wants the party. I want the JOP style. We've already booked the reception/ceremony site and the caterer. All thats left as far as vendors go is DJ, and photog. We're a year and 4 months away and I just don't care. My mom insists that we get married now, JOP style, and have the vow renewal/reception next year on our 1 year anniversary. I don't want to do that, either. I don't want the party. We don't have the money for all this and I don't like to make a big deal about things. Grr. I mentioned to my fi the other night about it but our puppy interrupted us and we didn't get back to talking about it. Most of our budget is getting sucked dry by the food. Seriously. 10k budget and about 6k of it is food and booze. I just find it silly to spend that much money on food. I just want to go to our favorite forest preserve on a nice fall afternoon and get married by the lake. Having only siblings and closest friends and family there. 20 people tops. Ok, vent over.

J&K10910

Have you told him your idea about going to your favorite forest preserve with fam and closest friends?  If you go out to a nice dinner afterwards, I think it sounds like a really great compromise between JOP and party. 

bjporter88

That comprimise sounds perfect! Talk it over.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Yeah, talk about this. That's a lot of money for your both to be contributing if you're not both on board.FI really didn't care if we had the big party or not, I wanted it. So, I'm contributing the majority of the money toward it. It works for us, and FI is happy to make me happy (plus, he doens't hate the idea like you seem to). But, as far as your budget goes, food is typically 50%, not including booze, so you're on the right track. And people appreciate food and booze more than anything else, so you've got the right idea there.

danieliza1127

Sounds like you need to talk to him about it and tell him how you really feel.  If you can't communicate about something as big as this, you're in trouble.

clseale13

Lol...you kind of just made me want to ditch all of our wedding plans and go for small and simple. Your compromise sounds heavenly.

conanabanana02

When we first began planning, that was our original idea. But after some talking he said that he wanted the party with his whole family there.

ac_in_dc

What danieliza said.

conanabanana02

We started to talk about it again saturday night. We have no problems with communicating what's bugging us. But Abby, our puppy, decided to squat on the carpet so I booted her outside real fast. After that we forgot about the discussion. lol.

soontobeklg

I said the same thing, but FI insists that his entire family will never speak to me again if I "force" him into a small wedding, so 150 people, here I come!  Seriously, though, it's his day too, so there's not much you can do about it.  Honestly 10k is a lot, but not a lot for a wedding, and you will probably end up having fun.

conanabanana02

and you will probably end up having fun.Haha. I figured I would have fun anyhow. I know it's his day, too. That's why I didn't argue when he said he wanted a traditional wedding. We just need to find some common ground.

jeannigirl

Maybe you could do a small ceremony with just family and close friends then do a Reception with all the other guests included. You do have well over a year to go, just let him know what you feel concerning the amount of money that you both will be spending if you go the route of a alot of guests. I believe that you both need to find that common ground on the amount you want to spend that you both feel comfortable with. Theirs no point in breaking the bank or going into debt with a wedding.