Confused on how to send/word invitations?

hmc318

I am only have 50 people at my ceremony, adults only. The reception is for everyone including those 50 people.So for example, if I am inviting my aunt & uncle to my ceremony and reception but only inviting their children to the reception.How do word this on the invite? Do I send a ceremony/reception for the adults and a separate reception invite for the kids? Or do I just word the invite carefully that the ceremony portion is adults only?Er....have no idea, help please :}

Mrs.B6302007

Yeah, you can't do this.Anyone who gets an invite to the reception gets an invite to the ceremony as well.

danieliza1127

Hmmm, that could be a real hardship for your guests.  What are they supposed to do, go home between the ceremony and reception to get the kids and then bring them to the reception?  If I got that invitation, I just wouldn't bring the kids at all then.  I think you should just consider making the whole thing adults only.  Kids don't really need to be at the reception anyway.

hmc318

See! This is what I told my mom. I didn't want kids at my reception either. Adult only ceremony/reception.I was trying to compromise with her but I figured it wouldn't work.The only thing my mom was thinking of was that since we aren't inviting cousins or anything to the ceremony that they could come up to the reception with the kids.I said no. But I have been trying my hardest to compromise on this.I think I'm going back to saying no kids all together...

goheels05

I agree with danieliza.

Leah&Christian09

The only way you can do this without being rude is to cut the ceremony invite list down to immediate family, like 20 tops.  Then your invitation would be to the reception, and you would just tell the people the ceremony details.

danieliza1127

The only thing my mom was thinking of was that since we aren't inviting cousins or anything to the ceremony that they could come up to the reception with the kids.When it comes to family/cousins, I think you should just either invite them or don't.  If you invite them to just the reception, they might be hurt that they weren't invited to the ceremony too, which is really the most important part.  I'm not sure what a good compromise would be, but trying to tell people to come without their kids to the ceremony and then bring their kids to the reception just wouldn't work. 

hmc318

I want an adult only ceremony and reception but my FMIL is throwing a fit. My mom was trying to come up with ideas to keep her quiet.The ceremony is for aunts uncles immediate family and grandparents. With that it's about 50 people, we have a large family.The reception is for whoever we want. I didn't think you could send an invitation saying "you can come but you can't" to one household.Thanks for the feedback so far

lyndausvi

actually you can invite people to the reception and not the ceremony.   It's the other way around it's an issue.That said what you are proposing is kind of rude.  I can't see how you can get away with people in the same household not being able to go to both. 

hmc318

^ I do agree. I didn't think there was a tactful way of going around that. Just thought I'd try and see, and since this is the best place to ask for advice I thought I'd post about it.

danieliza1127

I didn't think you could send an invitation saying "you can come but you can't" to one household.When it comes to children, sure you can.  You just address the invitation to the adults only.  I would assume your cousins who have their own children live in their own homes, not with their parents.  If that's true, then you can send them their own invitation for just the reception only.

hmc318

No it's not. It's being held at an old Inn who does private events.

banana468

OK, so the ceremony and reception are in the same place? Then yes, it's really hard to have an adult ceremony and a family reception. Just invite the adults.

hmc318

Yes it's being held at the same place. I think that will have to be what we do and it's what I really originally wanted.

hmc318

Well I personally do not want kids at either.It's my FMIL who is throwing a freakin fit so I'm trying to see her side and thought maybe just the reception?I just don't want kids at either but more so the ceremony. I want it to be quiet and peaceful intimate and we are having a formal dinner after.

lyndausvi

who are the kids FMIL wants to invite> Her grandkids?  Random friends? First cousins?   Can you compromise on that issue? 

lyndausvi

Just to give you a little prospective on how different families view things. Not that you have to agree, just another point of view.First cousins in both our families are always invited to weddings regardless of age.  Now all my cousins are over 30, but when they were all getting married I was invited to the weddings.  Being Catholic and going to church every Sunday (as all of us did), there was no need to worry about kids being quiet.  Catholic guilt alone keep us quiet.Kids of friends of the parents.. Not even considered.Again, it's your wedding and you do what you want.  Im not saying do one thing on another.  But it's always nice to consider opinions from FILs. 

hmc318

^ Oh yeah I definitely see where you are coming from. I have thought about the idea. I'm still thinking about it all. Oh decisions decisions!

lyndausvi

btw - kids do not have to be all or nothing.  I would have been pissed if someone questioned my nieces and nephews at my wedding and not their kids.   Just like I can invite any adult I want, I can invite any kid I want. Im lucky our family does not look at age and looks at the relationship.  

hmc318

That's a good point too. MAYBE I can budge on just having cousins and call it good.