First issue: I have a family member that is already crying about me not addressing the Save the Dates to a couple of her kids at home. They are both in highschool, and I am not sure of the exact ages. In my mind, I figured I would just wait until closer to the ceremony to determine whether they are 18, and if they are 18 or over they are invited. What is the etiquette here? What if one is 18 and the other is not? (They are close in age). Second issue: My only nieces are my flower girls. My brother recently became engaged, and the fiance has three kids. The reception is adult only, accept from my nieces of course. I don't want the other kids because it opens a pandoras box. How do I address this in a subtle way? What are some examples of random comments? Thanks!