Inviting Children or not?

holly3c

Hi everyone! This is my first post here. I C&P from my Chicago board because I'm really feeling the stress and would appreciate some advice. TIA! Complicated: Originally, I was 100% against having kids at the wedding. FMIL was insisting that we did have them. I eventually won her over. It's quite easy for my side of the family, because either the "kids" are 18+ or are like 6, and there are only a handful of the latter. Well, FI's family has a ton of kids, all over the board, of 18-20, infants and toddlers, and school aged children. Initially, I said that everyone over the age of 18 would get a separate invitation for themselves and a guest (FMIL not happy, did not agree) and all the other invites would be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. If we do this, then what do we do about the one family who has a 19 year old and a 14 year old? I feel terrible leaving the 14 year old out, but allowing him opens the floodgates for EVERYONE! I was also told by FSIL that one of the cousins was SO MAD that her kids were not invited one of the weddings, she boycotted and is still mad, 7 years later. NOW we find out that one of my relatives from thousands of miles away wants to come with her daughters who are 7 and 5. I don't know if they will actually come, but what if they decide to? Should I just give in and allow kids to make everyone else happy? I am worried that the atmosphere will be completely ruined with kids running all around and am also worried that parents will RSVP for their kids and then not bring them, leaving us with tons of kids plates of food. But I also don't want enemies for life.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Why would someone RSVP for their children and then not bring them?If that's what you want to do, then don't have any children. Including the 14 year old. I'm not sure how a child would ruin the atmosphere of your wedidng...laughter, fun, love...those are all things I think of when I think of wedding. Oh, and family. Which I'm assuming a lot of these children are or will be. What does your FI think? I hear a lot about what YOU want, but nothing about what he wants, and it involves his family.

Mrs.B6302007

How about a family line rather than an age line?  Like include first cousins' kids but that's it.

Mrs.B6302007

and am also worried that parents will RSVP for their kids and then not bring them,They won't do this; they'll have to pay for sitters if they leave them behind at the last minute.  ;-)

holly3c

What does your FI think? He's just as confused as I am. We both see the benefits and the drawbacks. As for drawing the family line, FI's parents are only inviting first cousins-- it is whether we invite their children or not that becomes the struggle.

Leah&Christian09

Is there an option to provide a separate room for the kids? 

Mrs.B6302007

Oh, I didn't catch that all the kids were first cousins.Talk to FI and see what he thinks but age might have to be the line.

Beadlz

I'm in the same situation as pp, FI has 89 first cousins.  Of course we aren't inviting all of them, only the ones he actually knows, which is only a few.  However, we are inviting all of my first cousins, but I am close to them.  Whatever line you make remember that it is yours and your FI day.  Whoever gets upset about their kids not being invited is being immature.