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Ex step family?

ecobugecobug
First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI and I are working on the guest list and we have one very hairy situation that absolutely has to be resolved. His father's divorce from his third wife was finalized a month ago, and we're wondering what to do.  FI has 3 half-siblings from that marriage, as well as 2 from his mom's intact remarriage.  So should we invite the kids and ex-stepmom and be extra cautious about seating? Should we just invite the kids since FI's mom's kids will be there?  We're suspecting the now ex-stepmom is likely to turn down an invitation knowing her ex-husband will be there, but how do we work to alieviate the tension if that is not the case?
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Re: Ex step family?

  • bbyckesbbyckes member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    It makes sense to invite his siblings -- if he has a strong relationship with his ex-step mom invite her too.I don't think this is that big of a deal.  Invite who you would like to share the moment with and no more.
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  • bombtonesbombtones
    100 Comments
    Did FI grow up with them and is close to the ex-step mom and half-siblings? If he is close to them, then he should invite them.
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  • ac_in_dcac_in_dc member
    2500 Comments
    I used this as a litmus test for my wedding invites: Is this a person that I want to be a part of my life for the rest of my life, regardless of where I'm working, whether my parents are still alive, where I'm living, etc? If the answer was yes, then I invited them to the wedding. Not sure if something like that would work for you guys on this decision.  It's your call, there's no "proper" way to do it, just don't invite only one sibling and not the parents, etc.
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  • Kati0105Kati0105
    1000 Comments
    FI's mom just got divorced and we are inviting her recent ex.  Luckily they are on good terms so we aren't concerned about it being awkward.  If the divorce was nasty we probably wouldn't invite the ex husband.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Personally  I would invite ALL of his half-siblings.  Whether or not you invite the ex-wife is up to you. I would bas it on how much you get along with her. Since they are FFIL's kids also, if she is not invited as father parent he should be able to look after them and/or find someome to assist if they are a young age.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • ecobugecobug
    First Comment
    Thank you all for your advice! This definitely gives me a lot of food for thought about how to make the decision.
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  • danieliza1127danieliza1127 member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I think it would be fine for him to invite his half-siblings and not their mom.  If they are kids, they can come with his dad.  If they're adults, they can come on their own.
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  • mikesboo23mikesboo23
    500 Comments
    Invite them all.  If she's not comfortable being there then she won't come.  If she wants to be there she will be glad you included her.
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