crazy aunt vent

soontobehimes

It's my dad's sister, and bless his heart, he can hardly stand her. But I do feel bad because my mom and my aunt haven't gotten along since day one. And I can't say that I blame my mom b/c my aunt is just very.....overbearing, to say the least. There's a lot of back history that I won't get into.The day after we got engaged (Christmas morning) my aunt made some weird comment along the lines of "you guys are going to be so sick of me, b/c I'm helping plan this wedding". My thoughts were "oh sh!t".Since then, she offered to throw me a shower (I am very grateful) and when we were trying to figure out a time to have it she INSISTED that it was exactly 12 weeks before the wedding. We had previous plans to be out of town, but once she wouldn't stop pushing it, I decided I'd cancel. She then called me back and said nonchalantly "we can't get the place for then. let's move it to august 30th".. So it went from July 25th to August 30th. Definitely not 12 weeks (but I don't care either way).So today, the reason for this vent, I called her b/c some of my family is getting together tomorrow night to address invitations & stuff blah blah blah. And she has an address book with most of the addresses we need so I asked her if she could bring that. Her response was "they are all on my computer. what do you need them for?" I explained and asked if she had a hard copy (like she already told me she did). "No. It's going to take you a month to look all those addresses up." I told her they had to go out by August 1st & she thought that was absolutely ridiculous. She couldn't believe I was sending them out before my shower (which is 4 weeks before the wedding) & kept telling me that people were going to forget about it and not come. I told her it was proper etiquette & that's how we were doing it. Then she said she'd bring her address book (ya know, the one she didn't have).She's complained about where we registered & what we've registered for & now this. She wants to be involved, and I don't mind that, but everytime I try to involve her, she's so negative.End vent.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Just stop sharing information with her. Let her plan your shower and be grateful and then use the response "We've got it under control" every time she asks about anythign else :)Silly people!

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

*anything

soontobehimes

That's what my mom said to do, also. Every once in a while I start feeling bad because she is my aunt. But she keeps raining on my parade, so I guess I'll have to stop! My mom told me to go through my grandma if I need the addresses, childish- but not a bad idea.

ac_in_dc

Looks like you're going to have to track down those addresses yourself.  Don't worry, it won't take to long. I agree with Vogt, don't give her any control.

Calypso1977

im confused as to why your dad doesnt have contact info for his family, and why you are dependent on the aunt to begin with?  doesnt he know where his relatives are?

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Definitely go through grandma. Don't give her any power, because she's obviously wanting to take it and run. Then when she brings her special address book, you can say "Oh, since it was going to be a burden, I got all the addresses from grandma. Thanks anyway"Yes, it's childish, but sometimes I like behaving like a child Plus, she'll get the idea (hopefully!)

soontobehimes

We have a really big family & she just has them all in one place, which makes things easier.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Himes, when it's all said and done, you should put together an excel sheet with the familys' addresses on them and email them to everyone My family actually puts out a list every year with everyone's current addresses on it. Takes the power away from one crazy aunt, and makes me very happy I don't have to ask her for favors.

soontobehimes

I actually thought about doing this! My mom's mom puts together a calendar every year for everyone at Christmas that has everyone's contact information on the back with birthdays throughout the year. It's so helpful!!

torontobride17

If they're on her computer, can't she just email the addresses to you? Then you can create your own excel address book.I would limit her involvement wherever possible. Get the addresses from G'ma, like people are suggesting.

Calypso1977

so what happens if this aunt dies?  just seems odd that only one person has everyone's info.  but then, in our family, everyone does christmas cards and such.

jennylynnhankins

Everyone has a crazy aunt. I feel bad for mine because she doesn't have any kids (anymore), and I know she would love to be involved; however, anytime I talk to her about the plans she ends-up totally stressing me out about minute details that don't matter. I suggest you give her small tasks to help her feel included (the shower is good), but you and your mom take care of the majority of things.As you know, 4-6 weeks before the wedding is a totally standard time frame to send out invitations. You're good.