Confession

julie_abeille

So I had my combined bridal shower/bachelorette party on Saturday. It was a blast and my friends did an amazing job. So here's the confession part... A relative of my FI's brought her baby to the shower and honestly I was really annoyed. Gah, this sounds HORRIBLE but I felt like I was competing with the baby for attention. His whole side of the family was totally focused on the baby the entire time. They were all sitting at the same table with their backs to everyone else playing with the baby (who I love btw, she is adorable). The mom was telling all kinds of stories about the baby non-stop. I was like "um, hello! I'm over here!". Even my friends noticed it and they were kind of pissed.Honestly, I'm not an attention whore but I kind of wanted the shower to be about me. That's bad isn't it? The shower was kid-friendly and the other guests who brought thier children were cool. They didn't feel the need to tell endless stories about how their little darling just discovered she loves peas (!) or other random crap.Feel free to flame, I probably deserve it;)

Mrs.B6302007

If they were sitting with their backs towards me and the other guests, then yeah, I'd be peeved as well.

BecW2be

I can't flame that. I understand completely. There are people who bring babies to showers, get the cutsies out of the way, then focus on the guest of honor. This mom has no clue about how not to be an AW.

mandysmear

I'm not sure how I'd react to be honest.  I don't feel the need to flame you though.  So perhaps I would have felt the same way.

arbolita

I'm expecting this a bit on Saturday for my shower since Luke will be there and it'll be the first time a lot of the family has seen him since Christmas  But I'm okay with it mostly, since I don't mind not having all eyes on me all the time.

tlv204

I'd probably be peeved too.  There was one baby at each of my showers, but they weren't the center of attention in either case. I mean I love babies, but there's only so much they can do that deserves all that oohing and aahing.

torontobride17

I'd be pissed too! I like babies (maybe not quite as much as the next guy) but I hate it when some mothers can't not make theirs the centre of attention for a couple hours.

mandysmear

Yeah and Luke is closer than some random relative from your FI's side of the family Arbs.  You'll be ooohing and aahhhing over him more than anyone else!  It's obvious how much you love that little guy

TiDa2009

This would be a-ok with me as I don't like to have a lot of attention on me. 

ac_in_dc

yeah, if you attend a shower you should probably spend a little bit of time paying attention to the guest of honor. Did you see the post a week or so ago where the OP got totally flamed for not wanting her niece to show up at the wedding and steal all of the attention? Hilarious.

Mrs.B6302007

I can definitely take the eyes not on me every moment but I would be upset that they were sitting with their backs to and ignoring the other guests.  That's rude.

mandysmear

I would almost feel like what's the point of them coming?  Go have your reunion somewhere else.

vallyhoo

I agree with you, hopefully you were gracious when you were trying to divert the attention back to you, but I can see where you were coming from.Since I am not to the stage in my life where I want kids, and I don't know many people who have kids, it does annoy me when new parents think everyone is as in love with their babies as they are.

julie_abeille

This is lame but it actually really hurt my feelings. Really, I know you all don't know me IRL but I'm not all about being the center of attention. I'm a social worker so I'm used to sitting back and doing a lot of listening. I tend to act the same way with my friends and family.It's just that I know the mom was smart enough to realize that she was being kind of rude. And still she kept carrying on being an AW. I consider her a really close friend so it kind of stung.

smlong007

I think I would be a little upset too.  I don't love being the center of attention, but I only plan on getting married once and am only having one shower, so I think I would be hurt too if someone else was the center of attention. My sister is this way with my niece.  She takes her as her date to everything, which I think is more about wanting attention for her daughter than letting the person who's day it is about shine.  No flaming here!

julie_abeille

hopefully you were gracious when you were trying to divert the attention back to youOh totally. I didn't actually say "um hello, I'm over here", I was just kidding. I went over to the table and mingled, thanked everyone for coming, played with the baby, etc...

mandysmear

Some friends of my mom's were having social hour at her wake.  I was so pissed.  There was a lobby with chairs for that.  Instead they were laughing and talking in the room.  I don't care if they were remembering the good times with my mom, it was rude.  I shot them a lot of dirty looks.  Had I not been in a fragile state I would have told them to STFU.

TheSaltyPeanut

I would be upset too!

vallyhoo

Julie, that makes sense. I think I meant to say 'graceful' instead of gracious. But regardless, I agree with how you handled the situation =)Mandy, that really stinks about their behavior at your mom's wake, definitely not appropriate IMO.

julie_abeille

That's horrible mandy. I've been to funerals before where people have acted like that.

[Deleted User]

i don't think this is flameworthy because babies suck anyway...but i find it really irritating that the girl last week got the shiit flamed out of her, and julie isn't getting flamed because she's a regular. own your opinions, people.

julie_abeille

stage--I've been around since November but I usually only post in the evenings and in spurts. I am flattered that jill called me a reg though;)

Kati0105

I wish I would have seen this post where the OP was flamed for not wanting her niece to be at the wedding. Isn't that question asked quite frequently, about not having kids at the reception?The post last week wasn't about not wanting to have kids at the wedding as much as it was about not wanting to have this particular cute baby at the wedding for fear of being upstaged.  It was quite ridiculous and quite amusing.

Mrs.B6302007

I think it's the difference of approaches that is getting different reactions.The other poster came on assuming that her thunder would be stolen and basically wanted to know how to avoid it.Julie came on with a confession and said she knew it was wrong but still felt it.

aerotigergirl

We got married in June. My husband's extended family is rather far-flung (most of our guests were OOT), so we were both really surprised when so many of them RSVP'd yes. It turns out that they'd all called each other and sort of turned our wedding weekend into a whole "family reunion." I know, I know... not a big deal... They were all going to be here for the wedding and it was the first time they'd been able to get together in 15 years or whatever, so it's great that they could make it and spend quality time together. I just had a couple of problems with this whole idea, and maybe it puts me in the same situation you found yourself in during your shower.1.) We had our wedding at a B&B and we set aside a room at the B&B for my husband's parents and sister. They (reluctantly) slept there. Because my FILs siblings had rented some cabins in a neighboring town, they spent all of their free time there instead of with us and my family. (This was the first time our parents were able to meet.) In fact, on the day of the wedding, his parents left the B&B to go back to the cabins to hang out with the rest of FILs family and showed up maybe 10 minutes before we were all supposed to start taking pictures and they weren't even showered or dressed yet. 2.) We invited all of our OOT guests who could make it to the rehearsal dinner on Friday before the wedding. At the rehearsal dinner, they all just sort of clumped up together and totally ignored everyone else. Seriously, I hardly even got to meet most of them.3.) One of my husband's aunts came all the way out to the wedding (they drove from another state, maybe a whole day's drive) and didn't even come to the wedding or reception. They were some of the ones staying in said cabins.... I felt a little slighted by this, I guess.OK, flame away. Maybe this means I'm an AW. It just seemed like our wedding was overshadowed by another event. I'd never ever say anything to anyone IRL about this... But message boards are great for confessions like this.

wadingmoose

Honestly, if I were at a wedding and during the ceremony people started oohing and ahhhhhing over a baby, I'd be giving them the side eye too.  That's just as rude as what was done to Julie.  I also think that disruptive children should be removed from the ceremony by their parents so that the rest of the guests can hear.However, when I think of babies at weddings, the attention given to them is typically at the reception and isn't intrusive on the wedding.  What happened to Julie was obviously quite intrusive during the shower, what with backs being turned to the bride and all.  That's actually very rude.

amalama

I'm sorry Julie, that really sucks. I always try to avoid crap like this with my daughter. Her grandma wants to take her everywhere, half the time uninvited even, because everyone must love her so much and they always want to see her! Sure. I think you handled it really well though, and maybe the mom is just in a phase and will get out of it and be a normal friend again.

cashandrich

I have the same situation with the only grandchild/ nephew in my FI's family. It's to the point where I feel bad for the kid's parents. It's like they don't exist to the rest of the family since he was born. I mean, he is amazingly cute, but come on! I love our nephew dearly, but the obsession is a little creepy.