MOG problems

kaylaj711

what ARE the responsibilities of the groom's parents especially the MOG? I feel like my soon to be mother in law is stressing me out way more than I deserve. She is very upset about several different things...but I'm not doing anything wrong...she just wants to have some control over the wedding.My grooms parents offered to do the alcohol at the reception...but they also want to decide on the time that the alcohol ends and the reception ends. I don't think that should be up to them b/c my parents are paying for the DJ and the reception hall. AND m we have to stay over afterwards to clean up...I don't want it to be a late night for my parents. There are several other issues going on and I feel like the mother of the groom should just respect our wishes and smile and just let it go...Please help! am I being rude? Honest replies please!

georgia_bride09

Either accept your FIL's offer of the alcohol and let them decide when to cut it off, or pay for the alcohol yourself. As for them deciding when the reception ends, well, that's kind of ridiculous. Tell them they can leave whenever they get ready.

julie_abeille

There are no responsibilities for the MOG.If she is contributing financially than she does get input on certain decisions. She is within her rights to decide when the alcohol ends since she is paying for it but not when the reception ends. She sounds like a PITA. I would just pay for the alcohol yourself so that you can ignore her.

cmhershey

If your FIL's are paying for the alcohol, then they get to decide when to cut it off. 

smlong007

I feel your pain.  Mine FILs are very similar.  I'm not sure what traditionally the groom's parents pay for other than the rehearsal dinner.  Since they are willing to pay they should get some say.  If this is causing too many problems then don't accept their money.  It sounds to me like a lot of strings are attached. We asked each of our parents to contribute whatever they felt like towards our wedding and then we've planned it.  That way there was no dictating by any party certain things.  We tried to accomodate requests, but ultimately we're deciding everything.  Personally, I've found the less involved my FMIL is with anything the less stress I have. 

tidetravel

we don't want the alcohol to be opened until after the dances and cake cuttingWhy?I hope you are not doing a cocktail hour in that case.  A cocktail hour without alcohol doesn't make any sense if you are having alcohol later.And when do you plan on doing the dancing/cake cutting?  These are usually things done after dinner, so your guests couldn't have drinks during dinner (which is when many people actually drink).Sounds to me like you are trying to control other people's behaviour by limited the alcohol.  Your guests are adults.  They can decide when to drink and when to stop if they have to drive.

georgia_bride09

We wanted the alcohol to end about a half hour before the reception gets over so that if neccessary...people could sober up a bit. Half an hour is not really enough time for people to "sober up". Your guests are adults and should know how to make arrangements to get home. I wouldn't close the bar early for that reason....she is very upset about that too...she doesn't think that 3 hours of alcohol is enough. I'm getting so frustrated with it. Weddings shouldn't be about alcohol yaknow?? If she's paying for the alcohol, I think she should have a right to let it be served from the start of the reception. Are you not having a cocktail hour? I think you are stressing yourself out for no reason.

kat112

Is today opposite day? Usually people would complain because the MOG wanted to limit the alcohol or have none at all! This lady wants everyone to drink up! I SAY ENJOY IT and let her pay!

yuodelj

I don't understand why you want it opened so late....

fangsiting

I think you all need to work together.  She does get some say by providing the alcohol, but I don't think her generosity of providing drinks trumps your parents' generosity of providing the reception hall and DJ.  Either have them talk it out together if they know each other or act as a go-between.  Of course, if you really want her to shush and just smile, then pay for the alcohol yourselves.  

redheadfsu

Alcohol after dancing & the cake cutting? did I read that wrong? What none with dinner? Most people leave after the cake cutting (older folks or those that have to travel)

kmmssg

What is your reasoning for making people wait for dances and cake cutting before they can drink?  That just doesn't sound very gracious to me at all.  Right now I'm with MOG on this one, but not what time the reception ends.  sounds to me like you are trying to micromanage your drinkers.