At-home Receptions

wdc*bride

I just typed out a very nice long post about at-home receptions, and now I'm annoyed that it was deleted and my computer was locked up because the thread was deleted.Anyway, what I was saying is that I know a *lot* of people that do this.  Seriously, a lot of people.  People from my hometown who get married elsewhere do receptions back home.  And many of my college and grad school friends out here do them back in their hometowns.  I don't understand how everyone on P&E can claim it's so inappropriate and they've never seen it.It makes a lot of sense when the couple is from very far-flung places geographically, especially when family members from both sides do not have the means to travel across the country.  We are doing hometown receptions, and absolutely no one has a problem with it.  People appreciate getting hosted at a party and getting to celebrate with us without having to traipse 2000 miles to do it.

danieliza1127

I don't think anyone claims it's inappropriate.  There are lots of people here on the board that are having AHRs.  I've been to two before, no big deal.  What some of us were saying yesterday is that if you have a destination wedding with only a few people, coming back home and having a huge reception pretty much defeats the purpose of your small destination wedding.  Pick one or the other you know?  But inappropriate?  No, I don't think any of us think that necessary.

salt78

I think people in that other post are more against the idea of MULTIPLE receptions. I'm having a DW and am having an AHR of sorts (not like a full fledged reception...it will just be a BBQ style thing). I don't think there is anything wrong with that and yes a lot of people do it.

lauralaur

Are you talking about the thread that was deleted just a few min ago? I don't think she was talking about an AHR; she wanted to do a formal reception with some California family in California, and then an informal reception however much later in California with all of the California family. I'm pretty sure I have that right anyway, was that what you were referring to? Because I think that's waay different than what you're talking about.

danieliza1127

Oh yeah, if you're talking about the chick who wants to have a wedding and reception and then another reception to invite all of the people who didn't make the first cut, yeah I do think that's wrong.  But that didn't sound like an AHR situation to me, unless I misunderstood it.

wdc*bride

Maybe I misread hers, but I thought she was doing the AHR in the opposite state, so the other family could come?Anyway, I guess I still don't think multiple receptions -- in different locations -- are a problem, if it's to accommodate guests living in different places.If she was saying multiple receptions in one place -- yes, that's weird.

DRemA3

We just had our DW July 11, where 25 guests were present. The following Friday we had an AHR for over 200 guests. Both events were equally as formal and as nice and once again a huge party. We didn't want an AHR, but his parents really wanted one since the majority of family were not present at the wedding. We had a both at both receptions and have received multiple compliments from guests who attended one of them, or both of them. In the beginning of wedding planning I wasn't looking forward to the AHR but now I am so glad my ILs wanted it, b/c we loved celebrating with everyone but we still were able to get married on the beach where he proposed!

cruella013

I was pissed she DDed too - I wrote a huge response.We live and got married in Chicago, and invited only 100 people to the wedding (immediate family, aunt and uncles, and close friends). 65 came.Our parents (his in CA, mine in NY) both wanted to give people the opportunity to not travel and celebrate (this was their gift to us).  We didn't want people to feel pressured that they had to travel (our families don't have a lot of money).  So we had a party that his parents hosted in CA, and my parent's party in NY for us is this weekend.  People that were invited to Chicago received invites to these parties as well, so they could choose what was most convenient.  There are also extended family, family friends, and acquaintances that have been invited to these parties that were not invited to Chicago.  Each of these parties will be about 60-80 people.  I'm ok with this because 1) we aren't caling it a reception, its just a party to celebrate our marriage - much less formal without all the pomp and circumstance; 2) our parents are hosting; and 3) we aren't expecting gifts (no gift table, no direction to the wedding website, etc).I didn't understand her post bcause I didn't know why she was having 3 parties when she only had two locations.  She seemed like she'd have two parties in CA, and then it wouldnt have that AHR feel to it and didn't make much sense.

NuggetBrain

I would do this, but I live in an apartment, so.....yeah.

banana468

I'll echo Danielle.IMO it's one thing if the couple is having a wedding in their home state, the bride's state or the groom's state and then they have an AHR for all the guests who were invited to see the wedding but couldn't attend.It's totally different if the couple wants some vacation-like wedding all to themselves or just two or three people and then a big party to follow with tons of other people who were never invited to the first event.