Fiance's sister as a bridesmaid??

jmetzler78

I have been hearing from girlfriends that I have to ask my fiance's sister to be a bridesmaid. She is great, but I had planned on asking longtime friends to stand up for me. I can see that it would be a nice gesture, but doing so would also make uneven numbers for my bridal party. If any one could give me advise what the right thing to do, it would be great!!!Thank you!!

sapphirebaby926

I didn't invite my FSIL to be a bridesmaid. It is a nice gesture but not a requirement. Also it's ok to have uneven sides

miz bdh

i think it would be a really nice gesture (i did it, but i love my sil). she is going to be your family forever, after all. and uneven numbers are no big deal.

[Deleted User]

You can have uneven sides. It would be nice to ask her and start the family off as a whole. However I know tons of brides, including my mom, who did not include the groom's sister. If they only thing standing in the way is uneven numbers I would ask. Although she could be a groomswoman as well.

danieliza1127

Some people do and some don't.  I was in both of my brother's weddings as BMs even though I didn't know their wives very well at the time.  Now I'm really close to one of them.  But it's not an obligation to that you ask them.  What does your FI think you should do?  Do you think she will be upset or hurt if you don't?  Is it common in their family to do it that way?

ac_in_dc

Definitely check with your FI to see. PPs are right that there's no set protocol. I didn't ask FI's sister b/c the first time I met her was the weekend FI and I got engaged. FI had only met my brother once too. Soo, we talked it over and decided not to include either in the wedding party.  They're both readers, and my 3 sisters & 1 teenage niece are bridesmaids. It's 2 weeks from the wedding now, and I do sort of regret not having her in...but at the same time I'm also happy not to have an absurdly huge bridal party. Alhough she does live really far away, and I don't get to see her very often, so this may have been a good chance to get to know her better...I hope we get the chance to spend more time together in the future, she is FI's only sibling after all!Sorry for the live journal post...hope that's useful!!!  

crfische

She can always stand up on his side, too.

ffmaid

Uneven numbers is completely a non issue Does Fi want his sister in the WP? If so she can be a groomsmaid. In many families including mine not asking a sibling to be in the WP is the equivalent of stateing that you do not like the familly. In other families it is not as expected. Talk to FI about what he wants for the WP and what the long term reprecussions would be in his family.  

Lyss5782

My brother is the only sibling between us and I asked FI if we could have him as a groomsman.  If you really dont want, though, you can have her do something else special (reading, etc.?)

supersalwa

My FSIL and I have become MUCH closer through her involvement in the wedding as my bridesmaid. I'm thrilled I asked her. Also, I have 5 BMs and my fiance has 4 GMs...no biggie.

AlexiaANDRobert

FI and I have all our siblings and siblings-in-law as our bridal party because we're all really close. That being said, there are 8 girls on my side and 4 guys on his side!  We obviously do not think there is a problem with uneven sides. GL!

Sydney.O.Rutledge

It's not a requirement, but if I had more than one attendant I would have felt obligated to include her. I think it's okay if your FI says it's okay, though. He would hopefully know his family best.

salt78

You aren't required to have his sister as a BM, but if it just comes down to numbers, you don't have to have even sides.

steverani

We are totally non traditional and so my FI wanted his sister standing in place of his best man on his side during the ceremony...I guess he stood on her side during hers. So her official title is Matron of Honor...but it doesn't really have to be equal sides anymore because usually the guys are already up there and they don't have to walk hand in hand down the aisle...and who does the attendants dancing together anymore?? I think it is kind of outdated...I say make your FI happy and make a nice gesture to your future family...they will all appreciate it.

mromag1

she is going to be family, so I would include her

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Uneven numbers is a ridiculous concern. You should decide if you want her on your side or not, regardless of her relationship to you. Both of my FSILs are bridesmaids, and my brother is one of FI's groomsmen. Family lasts forever, we wanted them to be included.

alliecarrie41

why can't you ask both your longtime friends and your new FSIL?  there is no reason to have even sides.  she will be family; i'd include her.

lmills730

Ditto what everyone else said, totally up to your relationship.FI asked my brother to be one of his GM and our sides are uneven.

katiek200

If FI wants her to be in it, or youve heard anything like that from family, I would have her in it. It wont hurt you, its a nice gesture.

vallyhoo

Regardless of your decision to include your FSIL or not, your bio says your wedding is in July 2010 so I suggest waiting quite a long time before asking any of your attendants.FWIW, my FI has a half sister that he is not very close with (due to living in separate states and not growing up together) but I asked her to be a BM and she is so ecstatic. It has brought us all closer together, but to each their own, if you'd like her to be a BM then ask her but not for a while.G/L

Calypso1977

i did not ask my SIL to be a bridesmaid.  even if we'd had more than just our MOH abd BM, i woudln have asked her, i'd have asked my best friend and my cousin.

banana468

Ditto Trix.  Wait until November.Then if the ONLY reason that you wouldn't ask her is because your sides are uneven, ask her.  Uneven sides are never a reason to not have a person in the BP.

weirberg

personally, i would absolutely 100% include siblings in wedding party. always. my FSIL is very excited about being in our wedding, and i think its a must because she is a sibling (my FI's twin actually). my mom wasnt included in my uncles wedding, and it still hurts her when she thinks about it. just to start things off nicely....i think you should.