Co-ed Wedding Shower Guests

tigger9922

Ok, so my FSIL is adorable and creative and wanted to do something different than a traditional shower.  She is throwing FI and I a wedding luau for his side of the family and some of his friends so they can be included in the party.  It will be on a Saturday night.My question is, FI has a friend who is dating a girl ( for about 3 months) that has been less than nice towards me and who I don't care for in the least.....I gave FSIL a guest list with said friend on it.  This friend has a +1 on his wedding invite, but the shower invite is only addressed to him, so would you think people would typically bring a guest to a shower?  I do not want this girl there, but I'm thinking he will be bringing her anyhow....ugh.

danieliza1127

I'm thinking he would bring her, or at least want to.

ac_in_dc

The shower sounds like a lot of fun.I don't know that you have much choice about if she comes if FSIL is hosting, and she's invited to the wedding. Fi's friend may bring her anyway. How does FI feel about this girl?  What did she do that was less than nice?

tigger9922

If he asks, should FI just say sure?  Even though I will be uncomfortable around her?

ac_in_dc

Has this woman done something egregious enough that you could explain to FI that you want to see her as little as possible? If she's said or done something really unacceptable, then FI should support you. If you just don't like her, then you don't have much wriggle room where the shower invite is concerned.

tigger9922

she is just rude to me and is very passive agressive.  I'm friends with her bf's ex wife, so I'm sure that is why she acts like this.  she walks up and interrupts me when I'm talking to people (mutual friends) like I'm not even there, throws ice around like she is playing, but really just wants to throw ice or spill her drink on me.  Then says nothing. No sorry, my bad, nothing.  Like I said, I just don't care for the girl.

ac_in_dc

Ugh. She sounds like a peach. I don't know if you can get away with disinviting her though. You can tell FI how you feel though, so he can do whatever he can to make sure you guys don't have to hang out too much socially in the future.

tigger9922

Yeah, didn't figure I could do much....lol.  Just want to have one of those "but its my party and I don't want her there" moments.  :-) FI could care less, he just wants his friend there.  The girl doesn't bother him though, lol.  Maybe she won't be around much longer.  But I think they are getting a place together.....

jeannigirl

Personally if she interupted me while I was speaking with someone I would say excuse me but don't interupt when two other people are speaking. Wait until we are finished. Has far has the ice/drinks situation I would ask her what her problem was with me that she felt the need to do that and that you would like it to stop.Just because someone is invited to a wedding does not mean that it is a standing invite that they attend every event  for your wedding.3 months is not considered a serious relationchip, so she doesn't need to be invited for this event/ I think that you were gracious in letting him bring her. I would talk with FI and let him know that it is only for family and those involved in the WP. There you go easy enough to explain.

tigger9922

She isn't invited, but I do think he will bring her just thinking it won't be a big deal.  He's not in the WP, there are about 4 guys invited that are not in the WP because they are good friend of FI and his sister wants to include his friends since it is Co-ed.  I'll just suck it up and if she is rude in the least, have my posse (aka Bridesmaids) throw her on her butt.   j/k   maybe.