Help!

[Deleted User]

Is it okay to have a cash bar at the engagement party? My sister has been gracious enough to host one for me and will be having appetizers for guests to munch on, but they will be expected to buy their own drinks.

bablingbrooke

Cash bars are never okay.  She should throw a party she can afford and do so by doing something like cutting the guest list, limiting the bar to just beer/wine, or something along those lines.

lyndausvi

I do not know.  My friends/family always takes care of beverages when inviting people to a party.  It's just what we do. So yeah, I think I would be put off by your arrangement.But then again we are ones that most have parties in our homes.  We do not see the point of inviting people to a restaurant and then asking them to pay for beverages.  Instead we can just have the party at a home offer food and drink, in most cases for less than just food at a restaurant.

[Deleted User]

That might be an option, but I doubt it. The food would be around $200 - $200 (which she had to ask my mom to pay for), but since my fiance and his friends are big drinkers, the alcohol could get pretty pricey. They are doing a champagne toast, but that will be the only alcohol provided by the host.

lyndausvi

I think your sister needs a lesson on how to be a good host.  So far your mom is paying for the food and the guests for the drinks.  To me it just seems like she is just sending out invitations.

[Deleted User]

Pretty much, but I'm really trying not to focus on her b/c if I think about it I may get angry. I didn't ask for the party at all and feel like I am in a really uncomfortable situation at this point. I don't like the idea of having guests pay for their drinks, but I can't afford to pay for it right now since we just paid for our honeymoon. Oh well. Hopefully, my friends won't hate me too bad.

MOBinFL2008

Could your sister possibly "host" this party at your mom's home?  It just strikes me as rude if someone invites me to a party and then expects me to pay for my drinks.  For future reference, the rule of thumb is anytime you invite people somewhere (party, dinner, shower, wedding reception), you pay for them.  Guests should never have to pay for anything.

lyndausvi

your friends will not hate you.  In my group if there is a 'formal' invitation then they would expect it all to be paid for as that is the norm for our circle.   But if it's a  GTG - as in hey it's Lynda's birthday and we will be at the bar if you want to stop by - we all just pay ourselves (although the 'host' normally buys a round or two).So wording might be key.

[Deleted User]

The funny thing is that no one in my family drinks but my sister, so you'd think she'd be the one to think about all of this.

tidetravel

Perhaps you should just decline her offer.

akjp70311

at the engagement party and even a bridal shower...totally fine! A drink included at dinner at the engagement party, like wine/red or white is a nice touch though!