Expensive or Inexpensive

brownhenry

I really want the 'wedding of my dreams' but at the same time I don't want to spend a lot of money. I fell in love with Lauxmont farms (martha stewdart had it in her wedding mag.) and its in the price range but if we go with that extravagant wedding we won't do a big honeymoon. How do I choose an expensive wedding or an expensive honeymoon... i'm so lost... i'd like to book the places way in advance thats why I am trying to figure it out now... any ideas on how to choose... and for those that want to say discuss it with the FI i have and he doesn't mind either way... so now how do i choose!?!? haha

111Kate111

depends on whats most important to you and FI. Could you have the dream wedding and a small honeymoon and then save for a dream vacay in 2 or 3 years???

111Kate111

I would probably go for the dream wedding and spend less on the honeymoon- you can find great deals on romantic places that don't cost that much. You can always plan a grand and fabulous trip in 3 or 5 years, but you can't have another wedding

~mRm~

If you were to look back at this in 20 years - which would be more meaningful?

scoetto

It all depends on what your "big honeymoon" entails. If it's going to an awesome island somewhere (like Fiji) can you do with Hawaii instead? It's all about perspective.

Brie2010

Eh, it's all about priorities, which are incredibly individual.Our priority is having an awesome reception that our guests will enjoy good food, free booze, and good music at.  To do this, we're cutting other unnecessary things from the budget--probably no limo, minimize flowers, buying things used or off eBay, etc.We figure we have the rest of our lives to go on extravagant vacations, too.  You only get one wedding (in theory), and can have a great honeymoon for pretty cheap.

ricksang

For us, we had the expensive wedding and honeymoon BUT or wedding was a huge flop and we wish we would have just had a small wedding and spent the rest of the money on the honeymoon and stayed in Italy for a month or so longer. What do you really want? Can the expensive honeymoon be put off until a couple of years from now?

ricksang

should be- "our wedding"

tidetravel

Like PPs said, it's all about priorities. What will you remember 25 years from now?

FutureMrsDudley55

Ricksang - Just curious, but have you ever mentioned on TK why your wedding didn't work out very well? I've always been curious. If not, don't feel pressured to say. I'm sorry it didn't work out the way you had planned :-/

julezlee

I picked a small but nice wedding and our HM is over a quarter of our budget. No one's ever said to me I wish we would have had a bigger/nicer wedding but plenty of people have told me they really wouldn't have had the big wedding all over again. 2 weeks in Greece with my new husband just sounds more appealing to me than shelling out a ton of money for a fancy venue for one night with people who I may love but aren't really necessary to have with me on that day. It's a big decision. For a long time I thought I would regret not having a big wedding, but the closer we get, the happier I am we chose to do something small. If you'll regret not having a big wedding, then have a big wedding.

ricksang

Yes, I have. It was a bunch of bullsh!t combined. The honeymoon soooo made up for it but a week wasn't enough dang it!

ThePinkSuperhero

For us, we want a fancy honeymoon!  Our wedding will be nice, but simple.

ggmae

A wise couple once told me that it is best to plan a kick asss HM because if the wedding sucks, at least you have an awesome trip to look forward to.

MOBinFL2008

Voice of experience looking back many years....I'd go for the wedding.  I loved celebrating with F&F.  I remember that day just standing and looking at everyone thinking, "Wow, these people all came here just to celebrate with DH and me."  That sort of thing will never happen again in your life!We did have a very nice honeymoon and I loved every minute of it but since then we've taken many vacations that were a whole lot better/more romantic than our honeymoon.

mocha beans

Personally, I'd spend more on the wedding than the honeymoon.  I love to get people together to party and having a good time.  We've got our whole lives to take amazing vacations, and we'll be more able to do that in our later years than right now.  A wedding, you only do that once, hopefully.

shanwalk2

we did a 3 day mini moon because we decided to spend the money on the wedding. We still had a smallish wedding, but there were certain elements that were important to me - and we spent accordingly. We're currently saving for a great trip. 

gottahavashorti

I'm way late to this and it's not what you asked about, but I strongly suggest that you look up recent reviews on Lauxmont before deciding.  Also ask for reviews from those who are already married on the Central PA board.  There are lots of other beautiful locations in that area.

brownhenry

Yes I know there are more than luxmont I guess the competitor in me wants to out do all my friends that are currently getting married! Thanks everyone for the replys I think maybe I'll start looking into parks and gardens in the area to get married in and use the venue my dad has been offering me for the reception that would cut my costs by 2000 or so! I keep forgetting that I have forever with my FI and we can save for a wonderful vacation in a few years. Again thank you for all your responses it is greatly appreciated! :-)