To Snubb or not to Snubb?? (kinda Long)

litlqt1108

Ok here is my dilemma- We have a large amount of people coming in from out of town and state who will have no where to leave their children and if we don't include them then they won't be able to attend. So we have decided to hire a few babysitters and have reserved a small room off of the main reception room for those OOT tots and also for the FG and RB.  My question is that we really don't want all of our friends who live in town to bring their children when we know they have babysitters and family to watch them. How do I go about encouraging in town friends/family to not bring their children. Do I not include any children's names and then call OOT guests and let them know I will provide a babysitter or should I include kids on all the invites and call in town guest and gently suggest they no bring their children. OR only invite the children who are OOT. and just FYI I intend for the children to stay in the seperate room the entire time. We will even have the nursery open at the church so there are no children in the ceremony.  TIA!!

tidetravel

If you're going to provide babysitters for OOT guests at the wedding, because you don't want kids at the weddin, you should offer to hire babysitters for all of the guest's kids. I would imagine that most of the in-town guests will hire their own sitters anyway.

MissSarah786

I wouldn't put kids names on the invites. when people call and ask, "Hey, can my kids come?" Then tell them they can but the kids will be in another room. Hopefully, most guests will leave the tykes at home.

kebmtm071605

Just include a note with the OOT guests' invitations stating that although children are not invited to the reception, if they plan to travel with their kids, a babysitter in an adjacent room will be provided.Also, FWIW, many people will NOT leave their kids with strangers.  Be prepared for some of your guests to tell you this.  I do not leave my kids with strangers...even if they are in the next room.Also...make sure you have the appropriate sitters to kids ratio, depending on the childrens' ages.

banana468

Just tell the OOT guests that you're offering this service with an insert in the invitation.  Don't put the insert in the invitation of the local guests. 

banana468

Also, as a side question, have you talked with the parents of the FG and RB about how their children won't be at there reception?  Generally it's not considered to be very kind to the attendants if they're not welcomed to the reception with the rest of the guests. 

duckie1905

Just include an insert with your invites stating that there will be child care available for those guests that wish to bring their children. Aside from that there really isn't any other way to "encourage" your guests to come but leave their children with a sitter. Some may decide that they don't want to leave their children with someone they don't know. This service should also be open to in town guests as well. Even though many may already have sitters they know and they may find their regulars not available that night and need the service as well. Even though you technically aren't inviting the children if you are going to provide for some then it is best to provide for all.

kissybee

Well, as everyone else said, you can include the insert.  But it's actually ok to invite some kids as long as the reason is clear and fairly applied.I think you'd have to be a pretty unreasonable person to not see the difference between leaving your kid at home when you live around the block vs. when you live an airplane ride away.  But of course there are unreasonable people in the world.For the pp who said some people won't leave their kids with strangers, that's fine.  Tell them they can arrange their own childcare with someone they know, or they can join their kids in the kids' room.  Problem solved.  Under NO circumstances should you let some parents bring their kids into the wedding, just because the (several) alternatives didn't suit them.