Should I send an invite?

circlefings

My question requires some lengthy background info....please bear with me!My fiancee and I met through my cousin about 6 years ago. Both FI and his brother were friends with my cousin, and FI and cousin were roommates in college. FI and cousin had a falling out, although FI's brother and cousin remained friends. One night, about 4 years ago, FI's bro and cousin went out to the bars where cousin left FI's bro by himself and he ended up being hit by some guy, and it left him in a coma for a week and he was in the hospital for about 3 months. FI brother is alright (for the most part) now, and has actually become friends with my cousin again. FI has never been able to forgive cousin, since his brother could have come out a lot worse, or even dead, because of what happened at the bar. Now here is my dilemma...FI does not want to invite cousin to the wedding at all. However, my dad thinks that he should be invited because he is family. No one in the family really likes this cousin, because he has always been a troublemaker, but dad still thinks he should be invited. I am stuck in the middle and I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to cause problems in the family, but I obviously don't want problems with FI either! Help!Oh yeah...my parents, FI's mom and FI and I are all contributing equally to the wedding, if that is a factor or not.

kissybee

I take it the rest of the cousins on that side of the family are being invited?

banana468

Is there any other reason other than 'he's family' that your father wants the cousin there?When you say, the cousin left FI's brother, what does that mean? 

fangsiting

Why was your cousin responsible for your FI's brother?  Did he hit your FI's brother?  I guess I'm not understanding why it's your cousin's fault.  It sounds like a horrible accident.  Unless there are other facts you haven't shared.If other cousins are invited, I think it would be odd to exclude him.  Do you think he would even come if he was invited?  I assume he knows that he is not well-liked by your FI. 

circlefings

Sorry...I was trying to keep too much detail out, but I guess its hard to understand the whole story then. They had gone out to the bar together...there had been a run-in with another guy at the bar early in the night. Then cousin left the bar without telling FI's brother. When FI brother walked out to the parking lot by himself, the other guy came up behind him and hit him. FI doesn't blame cousin for the accident, but thinks that if you go out with a friend, you should stay with them the whole night, and not ditch them. Yes, all other cousins are invited. And I'm on the fence if he would come or not. Part of me says that he won't even bother, since the wedding will be over an hour away from him. But I can also see him coming and causing trouble, just out of spite.

katiek200

If FI doesnt want him there, dont invite him. Plain and simple. Its your wedding. Dont cause yourself stress if no one wants him there.

cravecase

It is ultimately your wedding...if your FI doesn't want him there then don't invite him.None of my moms siblings are invited, much to my Grandma's dismay.  My mom speaks to none of them, I haven't seen them in years and whenever my mom is with them the night ends in a screaming match and someone leaving in tears.  Not worth it...I wanted my mom to enjoy the night as much as me - why put her in that position.  Basically if you think he might start something I would eliminate that asap.