Pregnant Bridesmaid Question

MarTar2009

I have a Bridemaid (bf since 11) who is due 7 days after my wedding. She is confident she will be able to be in the wedding, and I hope she is able to.  Everyone who knows about this has told me that she will change her mind and drop out.What do you think?

Calypso1977

she might drop out, but not becuase she doenst want to be there.  her kid may come early, or she may end up on bed rest, etc.  if she cant do it she cant do it.  please dont line up some sort of "replacement" for her.

georgia_bride09

I think you will just have to wait and see what happens. If she says she'll be there, then I'm sure she'll try. Why are you worried about what everyone else thinks?

tidetravel

Why does it matter?  She wants to be a part of your wedding. If she's there, then she's there.  If not, it's not a big deal.

ricksang

Let me pull out my crystal ball....Really, no one can tell you what she is thinking but her.

banana468

I think you need to plan for her to be there but also be prepared that it's likely she won't be.  Don't pressure her though.  Let HER decide what works or what doesn't.  Every pregnancy is different.  Just do what you can for her to make sure she's comfortable.I think it's safe to say that you need to rule out stilettos for her. 

MarTar2009

Ladies- I would never ever get a replacement for her!  OP said I want her to be there!  She has been my best friend for 14 years.  I am not worried about what other people think... I am setting my own expectations. I am positive she wants to be there...  As for, "why do you care what others think".... isn't that the point of these boards?

aerotigergirl

I've never been pregnant, so I probably don't know what I'm talking about, but...If you're ~60 days out and she's still feeling like she'll be able to be there for your wedding, maybe she will feel up to it? I don't know, I guess a lot can change in 60 days. But she knows her body better than anyone else, so if she's saying she feels like she'll make it, then maybe she'll make it?Obviously, if her baby comes early then she probably won't make it, but it doesn't really matter. Certainly don't try to find a "replacement" just to fill a role or make sure you have an equal number of bridesmaids and groomsmen.

mocha beans

I'd give her the option of sitting down in the front row if her feet get tired.  Let her make the decisions about what she's doing.  Have the processional worked out with and without her.

MarTar2009

Great idea, Mocha!  I will definitely point out that she is more than welcome to take a seat whenever she needs. It is a Catholic Mass, so it will be long, and there is a lot of standing!

aerotigergirl

OK, you've clarified no replacement will be made... Please disregard that part of my last post. I guess we were posting at the same time...

ffmaid

I think you should be ok with either. 1. If she needs to fly to attend she may not be able to 2. She might end up on bedrest 3. she might be giving birth during your wedding ect   but at this point be ok with her being there or just being honorary  

MarTar2009

 No problem, Aero :)The replacement idea is sooo silly.  Could you imagine being asked to be in a wedding last minute because someone else could not?  Ugh... B list on the wedding party to make the parties even? No thank you!!  Also, we already have an uneven number...  also not sure why people are so convinced it needs to be even:)

lyndausvi

My BFF was 8 months pregnant, high risk AND my wedding was 2.5 hours away.  I told her to make a game day decision.   I really wanted her there, but it was her choice.  I said she could not attend, attend but sit in the front row or stand with the other BM's. It was her choice and I didn't even stress about it. (I also did not care about the cost of flowers, presents, etc. if she was not able to  make the wedding).In the end she was in the wedding in with a dress I didn't see until the wedding day.I just say, go with the flow and let her make the choice right up until the end.

danieliza1127

Well that's the chance you take.  My BM, who is also my brother's wife, was due one month after our wedding so we thought no problem right?  Well she had the baby 3 days before the wedding!  It was a huge shock but so exciting at the same time.  Obviously she couldn't be in or even at the wedding, which was sad, but I went and saw her the day of and took her bouquet to her and her gift that I would have given to her at the RD.  I guess my point is, why worry about it?  She's still your BM and unless she drops out, there's really nothing for you to do.  Yes there is a chance she won't be there, but that's the chance you take.  She's still your BM, should still be in the program, and if she isnt' there, at least it's for a great reason!

CubsGirl05

If she has the baby or can't make it the wedding, can you wrap up a plate for her and her husband/baby daddy and save them a piece of wedding cake, and take that plush er bouquet to her? That'd be a nice gesture. Anyways, maybe have some inserts printed up to stuff inside the programs in case you need to explain why the BM wasn't there. But don't worry about it, just go with the flow, and make her as comfortble as you can.