Is "no kids" rude?

Ab42187

You have the right to do an adult only wedding especially if you have to cut out other people that you would prefer to be there just to accommodate all the kids.We are having an adults only wedding. For the most part everyone came but a few of my aunts & uncles who I'm not close with are not coming because I didn't invite there children. I personally don't care whether they came or not since I've only met them a handful of times and I've never met there children before.Just make sure that those people with children that may not come are people that you really want to be there as well.

katyboo

I think you're supposed to invite children when you have children in your bridal party, which you do.  You can put some sort of age limit on it and then indicate that by the names on the invitation.  Hopefully everybody knows that the invitation is addressed to those that are invited.  If none of the people with children are from out of town, then it shoudln't be too difficult to find a babysitter for the day, I would hope.  Otherwise, you can look into providing some form of child care.  We're having trouble with this too, except we're not having children in our bridal party... our guests have kids ranging from 2-14... the problem is, with little kids anyway, the parents might be running after the kids and not really enjoying themselves at the reception, so... that's something else to consider in your decision-making.Personally, the first reception I attended was my cousin's wedding.  I was 14 or 15, didn't have anybody else my age there, and really don't recall it being a great time, even though it looked like other people were having fun.

Cupidsmyth

Why not ask a couple of the older cousins to step in as honorary babysitters, consider them as part of your bridal party so to speak, get them some small token of your apreciation or slip them $20 bucks. Most churches have nursery rooms and if you are having it at a church, check with them about using the room. Then when you send out invites, you could include a small insert that while you love the family dearly, the ceremony is reserved for adults and children over ___ age. Let them know that you have arranged sitting for the smaller children where they will be able to play and enjoy themselves as well. Our church actually has a small room in the back of the main hall that is for moms with smaller children to use but still attend service but also so that crying doesn't interupt service. I agree with the other posters about you can't simply say adults only. If that is what you really want then consider having a small intimate ceremony with your closest family, then have a large reception where everyone is invited. But to say adults only, you are going to have the burden of providing a sitting service.

Nikkiesix

Personally, I feel that its your day and yes its ice to be considerate of other's and their feelings, but ultimately its up to you. I would invite adults only. I am personally having some kids (my 2nd cousins) and of course my flower girl and ring bearer are invited. I know that my family members would be responsible enough that it someone started making a fuss, they would be removed to outside the ceremony. Also, the kids were factored into my head count from the beginning and its also 1/2 price per head for them. Hopefully you can come to some peace of mind with this and make the best decision! Good luck!

mkshort

My parents are each one of five- thus, I have a lot of aunts and uncles and first cousins.  Add to that the fact that my first cousins all got married pretty young and have litters of kids and, well, for me to invite these 2nd cousins that I can't even keep the names straight of AND the kids of my other guests and I would have an additional 50+ people.  ON top of having to pay for food, I'd have to pay for chairs, linens, plates, forks, knives, spoons, etc because my venue charges for every itemized item.  It just wasn't possible. Now, we're catching some flack because of it.  Honestly, people forget what it was like before they had kids.  I don't remember them having lots of kids at their weddings and now they have the audacity to talk badly about me because I don't want their kid crying through my wedding or sticking his fingers in my cake before it gets cut. Sorry, but I'm a little touchy about this right now.  I'm also more than a little p-o'ed because I was in several weddings during my early 20's for friends.  I flew to their bachelorette parties, dropped everything to go to their showers- even when I was in law school.  Now that we're in our late 20's and I'm the one getting married they say it just isn't convenient for them to come to the bachelorette party or the shower because they have kids.  I'm really over people using their kids as an excuse to be a crappy friend or a crappy wedding guest. There, had to vent.  Sorry.  

jmessne2

Well for me personally we don't have too many family members with kids, but what we are doing is only putting on the invitations the people we want there.  Meaning no and family or whatever the kids names are.  It probably  won't prevent all kids from being there but its a nicer way to say get a babysitter. 

The_Soon_Mrs

This is def a tricky one. Have the kids there and make some parents happy and possibly annoy other guests, or leave the kids out of it and get the parents mad at you. What future hubby and I decided on was an "18 and over" guest list (with the exception of one cousin who will be a few weeks shy of 18). Most the the cousins understand that cost is a factor for us (just out of college and trying to do it ourselves) and they are totally understanding about it. Maybe just lucky us. Is there any way you could talk to some of the parents and explain (CALMLY) any concerns you have about their kids being there? Some parents might react with the "But my Johnny/Jenny would never make a scene or cry!" At that point you might just have to put the big bridal foot down. What does your future momma in law have to say about any of this?

moonlitmama

i wouldn't invite children to my wedding like i wouldn't invite children to any other evening party i would throw. we gave everyone at least 5 mos notice that there weren't any kids invited - if someone invites me to an event that didn't inculde my kids and i can't find arrangements - that is totally my problem and would never give the hosts sh*t about it. i plan on having kids one day and anticipate having to get a babysitter once and awhile - for things like weddings and evening events that are not appropriate for children AND just to retain my sanity ;0)

SpringBride1114

Thanks Ladies!! I was starting to feel like I was acting like a b*tchy bridezilla. I have yet to talk to FMIL about it all, but it is for sure on my list of to do's. I am 1) Not having it in a church, so no daycare and 2) cannot afford to pay somone to watch 25 kids on top of paying for food that they probably wont hardly eat. A lot of you said you got flack for not inviting kids, was it from the immediate family, or distant relatives? All in all, you guys made me feel better about a no kid policy. I just don't know what I should make the cut off age. High school & up? All of my cousins are at least in highschool, so I would feel bad having my cousins there and not his, but his are much younger