Open Bar at Reception

saraandjonschmoopy

Hi, We were really hoping to have a full open bar at our reception.  The caterer we are going through charges $5.50 per mixed drink.  We think it's absurd.  Is that normal compared to places you've looked?My next question that I really hope for lots of opinions on is:  We're planning on having all you can drink beer and 4 bottles of wine per table.  And making the liquor cash bar.  Some of my friends told me it's really tacky.  Others told me it's totally normal and they've been to lots of weddings like that.  What do you think?Our other option is to put a limit on the liquor.  So, all you can drink beer and 4 bottles of wine per table plus up to $1,000 in liquor.  Once the $1,000 is spent, then people have to pay for their own liquor drinks.  I've also been told the same thing - it's tacky by some and it's totally okay by others.  What do you think?Thanks so much for your help, it's really stressing me out.

torontobride17

$5.50 per mixed drink is not at all absurb for our area. Our venue charges more than that. You should just do unlimited beer and wine and skip the liquor all together. Trying to do half open bar, or setting $ limits, all that stuff just makes it overly complicated.

mocha beans

Okay, in my area, a cash bar is okay, at least the weddings I've been to.  Very rural, rec center type deals.  Only one wedding has had an open bar.However, that being said, it is polite and proper etiquette to not have your guests pay for anything.  So, either beer and wine only, or pay the open bar tab if you want liquor also.Given the choice, try and skip the cash bar and just do beer or wine.

ffmaid

If you are willing to only pay for beer and wine do not offer hard liquor at all better to not offer at all then to offer only as a cash bar option. That is like offering chicken for free but lobster is an extra $10  

pumpkinpumpkin

Is that normal compared to places you've lookedCheck your local for this. It seems high to me.Also - you're going to get a lot of mixed reactions to your questions. Where I'm from, cash bars are the norm, and don't offend me...I wouldn't have one, but I never get upset when it isn't open. I think open beer and wine is a good idea. I don't like the limited cash bar. I think it confuses some people.

kelseymw

I agree with PP. Skip the liquor and do beer and wine. We are just doing beer and margaritas for our summer wedding. An open bar is fun, but not in our budget... and it really wasn't a necessary expense....I do think $5.50/drink is high! It all depends on the caterer/area, but mine is lower.

julie22685

In your situation I would just do beer and wine. We paid about $45 per person for an open bar for four hours so the $5.50 doesn't sound off to me but I know it varies by areas.

julie_abeille

In my circle, a cash bar for the entire length of the reception is the epitome of tacky. I do think it's fine if you set a limit on how much liquor is served and then have people pay after that.Have you considered just serving beer and wine? That's what we're doing and no one has complained so far. 

betrothed123

My wedding was the first in my area that I attended that wasn't a cash bar.  We had an afternoon reception, so we offered beer and wine for free.  I figured for an afternoon reception there was no point in offerring liquor.  Or venue, however, refused to remove the liquor from the bar, so we were forced into a partial cash bar.  Apparently that was a good thing because a few of our guests didn't want beer, wine, or a non-alcoholic drink.  They were glad they had the option of liquor, even if they had to pay for it.

bombtones

Also, what kind of liquor is the quote for? We have one quote for "select" liquors, and another for "premium"

kissybee

I would say you really need to keep polling people you know about this one, because it is so variable by location and group. Where I'm from, split bars are the norm.  Open until a certain time (usually dinner is done or maybe an hour after that).Another option is to subsidize the liquor.  So your guests will pay, say $3 per drink and you pay the rest.

laladypoet

what you described? not open bar.  so if you plan to put limitations on what's free, make sure you don't tell guests that it's an open bar. they'll expect all-you-can-drink.

Pirata13

We are doing just wine and beer. We wanted that first because we didn't want people slamming shots all night, but as it turned out, the bonus was it saved tons of money. 

danieliza1127

If your own friends who will be at your wedding think a cash bar is tacky, that's how you know not to do it.  You should always go by your own friends and family's opinions over ours since we won't be at your wedding and we're from all different parts of the country/world and not necessarily your area.That said, $5.50 per mixed drink is insane.  It's not normal no.  If you can't afford liquor, just don't have it.  All you can drink beer and 4 bottles of wine per table is plenty.

C W

It depends on your area. In my area, $5.50 is probably the norm, but it's also the norm to have cash or subsidized/limited bars. We had an open bar and our guests were like 'wait, it's free? Saweeet!" IMO, it's fine to offer free beer and wine and leave the option to buy a mixed drink, but that's because I'm used to cash bars and would appreciate free beer/wine. I don't like the idea of a dollar limit. It just encourages quick consumption and the heavy drinkers will just drink lots right away, which ends up hurting the reasonable drinkers. I'd go with either a time limit or free beer/wine and the option to pay for mixed drinks.

Golfer'sLady

I'd also skip the liquor and just do beer and wine. That's what we did. We had a red and a white wine and then three types of beer (one regular, one light, one import) to choose from. I'm in the camp that you should host a party you can afford, no guest should have to open their wallet at your reception.

[Deleted User]

Cash bars are not accepted where I am from. My venue charges $25 per person for open bar. I do not have to pay this for anyone under 21.

C W

you should host a party you can afford, no guest should have to open their wallet at your reception. But if you offered beer and wine, the guests would not have to open their wallets. I don't see a problem with allowing your guests the option to purchase something that is not offered for free.

Golfer'sLady

MissCM - if you reread my post you'll see that I suggested just doing beer and wine, it's what we did too. That's what I meant by "hosting a party you can afford." Offer what you can afford to pay for, don't make your guests do it.