Too Many Toasts?

misscgb123

I looked, hopefully hard enough, and didn't see an answer: 3 of my BMs and the best man want to make a toast (no maid of honor). Is that too many toasts? I've only been to one wedding, so I don't know "the norm". What is a good amount of time to allocate for the toasts before it gets too boring? TIA

J&K10910

Honestly, to me, any toasts are boring.  I would think 3 BMs would be too many.  Would they be willing to make a toast together maybe?

tidetravel

I would try to spread the toasts out during dinner.  It shouldn't be too many as long as they are broken up.  Everything up front may be a little too much.

danieliza1127

It's too many if you do them back to back.  Try spreading them out.  Have the best man do his toast just before dinner is served, then one BM after dinner, one BM after cake is cut, one BM somewhere else.  Toasts should be short and sweet, not long speeches.

pumpkinpumpkin

Yes, way too many toasts. Where I come from, people are ASKED to give toasts. Most common would be the toast to the bride, and toast/roast to the groom. Most commonly done by aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, or member of the WP. 3 people can work together on ONE toast, but 3 different toasts to the same person is ridiculous. I'm already annoyed.

becs11048

I would only have 1 BM make a toast at the wedding (or if they could all 3 do a toast in about 5 minutes or less that would be fine) For the other 2 BM I would offer the suggestion to them of making a toast at the Rehearsal Dinner, and since it is more casual they may like that better anyways

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

I think that's nice that they want to give you toasts, but generally, I think more than 2 toasts total gets to be very boring. The 3 BMs could work on one toast together from all of them, or if they all want to speak individually, could they do it at the RD? If more than our MOH/BM want to toast us, then I'm going to ask that they do that at the RD.

Mrs.B6302007

You could ask your BMs to do their toasts at the shower and/or rehearsal dinner to help spread them out.  I would reserve the toasts at the wedding for MOH and Best Man.

NuggetBrain

I don't want to have toasts at all, but we're having his dad and my mom give one (one before dinner and one after).  That's it though.  I think 4 toasts is way too many, but that's just me.

tidetravel

Another thing to consider:  we did an "open mic" at our wedding.  Basically started dinner and allowed anyone to come up and say stuff throughout the night.  No one really said anything until the last hour or so of the reception.  It turned into a really nice, laid back way to wrap up the night, because family / guests got up one by one and stated their well wishes and shared favorite stories/memories.

misscgb123

Thanks, ladies. That's what I figured but wanted to check.

Night_Sprite

Maybe ask one of the BMs to do a prayer or blessing or something?

NuggetBrain

Tide - they had an open mic at my FI's older sister's wedding.  His younger sister got wasted and started her speech off with "Remember when we went to Mexico *insert massive giggling* and we were in that contest *more giggling*" and it pretty much went downhill from there.His older sister was mortified.  I found it hilarious.

buttaflai

We had 4 toasts and they were spread throughout dinner, which was fine. Except the MOH's speech felt like it went on and on and on. TIME LIMIT.

tidetravel

Haha Nugget; I guess it depends on your crowd - open mics can go either way.

laurening

That's a lot of toasts. Are any of the parents giving one too? If you're going to do 4 toasts, I would keep them to 60-90 seconds (which is longer than it seems when someone is talking) and spread them out during the dinner, Maybe 2 in the beginning and two toward the end of the dinner. The truth is, toasts are kind of boring for most of the guests and most people aren't that great with giving toasts.

Emstarme

I think any toasts are boring. Most guests do not know the BMs and Best man well and the speeches are too long. Maybe your audience will be into it. I never am. If you have to do toasts stick to one. Let your BMs do toasts at the rehearsal dinner.

misscgb123

No, the parents aren't doing any toasts. And we're not serving alcohol, so no drunk toasts, thank goodness!

trix1223

IMO, too many.  At my niece's wedding, my BIL welcomed everyone.  Then the groom's mom got up and spoke.  Then the MOH spoke.  Then the Best Man.  THEN, every other BM and every other GM spoke.  By the time the Best Man started, people had just stopped listening and returned to their own conversations.  It was painful, very painful.Ask one BM and the best man.  Anything more is going to bore the bejesus out of your guests.  And you.

[Deleted User]

I am bored thinking about it. One from your side one from your done.

karenttrouble

I think it's too many.  I would either have just one give a toast or give all three a time limit of 30 seconds and have it be one toast given by the three.  I was in a wedding where there were three BMs and no MOH.  The bride gave each of us a few MOH type things (NOT JOBS ) to do- stand next to the bride and hold her bouquet during the ceremony, sign the marriage license, give a toast, etc.

danielandjulianne

I asked the Bridesmaids to give their toast at the rehearsal dinner. The MOH is doing her's at the reception along with the BM and groomsmen who are doing a group toast. I think guests get bored if there are too many toasts.

trlee26

I think it's sweet they all want to give toasts but it could get boring and take time away for other things you may want to do at your reception like the garter toss and bouquet toss. Our friends had a lot of toasts given at their reception and they ended up not doing their cake cutting because of it. Can two of the bridesmaids give toasts at rehearsal? I also like idea of consolidating the toast like someone had suggested. I've read rule of thumb is 3 minutes per speech but no one seems to stick to that. Good luck!

Linaq5

Our bridal party is giving "roasts" at the rehearsal dinner. Then my two Maids of Honor, the best man and my dad will make speeches at the reception. They know to make them short and sweet. They are going to to have much more fun with the one are the rehearsal dinner.

futurestepmama

I might have to disagree slightly.  Almost every wedding has dull toasts, so while your guests might be bored, they won't be shocked or offended.  If your gals asked to do a speech, that probably means they have something specific that they want to say to you and they might be disappointed if they don't get a chance to say it.  I know it's your day, but if you're not dead-set against it, I'd say grin and bear it for your girls' sake.I do agree with pp, though, that a group-toast would probably be best if they can work that out.

lemken

I personally love toasts!! I think it's so nice to see a little personality from the bridal party and the family - and they usually are hilarious or very heartfelt. I also think a lot of my friend's are really good story tellers too though - so I'm a bit biased. One warning though for anyone giving a toast... hold back on the booze until it's over!!! I've seen a couple and heard of a couple toasts that were almost disastrous because the person speaking was wasted! It starts off funny, but ends up as kind of a car wreck. Good luck!

nikkiblueeyes823

I was just at a wedding where the grooms 2 brothers gave a toast the the MOH. Then the dads. By the time the MOH spoke everyone was talking to eachother again. And the first two toasts were hard to top. Then both dads all after eachother was a bit much. But it was nice. I listened to them all. Because we were a close table lol

rbartels

For my wedding my two sisters and my groom's two brothers all gave speeches.  We did them immediately after arriving at the reception.  It didn't seem like too many speeches because they were not drawn out and everyone had something special to say.It might have been special because they were family, but I don't think four toasts is too much.

meganfauer

Where I come from toasts are ONLY given at the rehearsal dinner, so why dont you see if a few of them would do their toast then. I do not mind toasts b/c it is the bride and grooms day and these are special moments for them but I have to say I do not like them at the wedding I like them at the rehearsal when it is your closest group of people.

moonlitmama

anymore than 2 is too much. and the 2 need to be short or it really stops the flow of the party (if wedding receptions are really a 'thank you' to the guests - curtail long/too many toasts). group toast or rehearsal should take care of the BM's. we are having 2 toasts. his best man will do a short toast and FI will say a thank you to our parents and the guests. i think it is nice for a host (FI/bride/parent etc) to thank the guests - it makes them feel included. i've been to too many weddings where i listen to a half hour worth of 'inside jokes' and 'too-much-information' about the bride & groom. its annoying.