Blatant Stupidity

lpstl

Ok, so I've finally gotten around to changing my name and up until today it's been pretty easy. In my family we replace the middle name with the maiden, but since I go by my middle name that didn't make sense for me, so I just added my maiden as a second middle name. So far, social security, DMV, and my bank haven't had an issue with this at all. Well I went to HR yesterday, gave them a copy of my new SS card & license so they could change my name for payroll and benefits.I got back this email:LPSTL - most people when they get married and want to keep their last name attach their new married name to the current married name – sometimes with a hyphen.  I am  trying to change your benefit cards and I cannot add your maiden name to your middle name- only the last name.  Is this OK? Do you want it with a hyphen?WTF? Is this ok? No you stupid cow, it is not ok. You want me to ditch generations of tradition and redo my SSN, license, banks, etc because you can't figure out how to put a space in my middle name? If you can't do it, ok, just tell me you can't do it, but don't freaking suggest I change my entire name for you.I needed to get that out before I included that in my response to her. I feel a little better.What type of blatant stupidity have you had to deal with this week?

jaimebeth9

I love that she told you what "most people do" when they get married.  Like that might somehow change what you want to do.

ScarletGem

If she puts it in as two last names, no hyphen, won't it look the same printed on the card as if she put it in as two middle names?  There's this undergrad working in our lab on his own little project, and the other day he approached me and said essentially, "I know you hat all of you grad students are really busy trying to graduate/get ready for this big conference coming up/get papers published before you get scooped, but I would like to have exclusive use of this machine that you all need for the next two weeks.  Is that Ok?"  Haha!  No.

tlv204

They changed your middle name to your maiden name at the license bureau?!?!?!?  Those bastards told me they couldn't and I had to wait for a new passport to prove that was my new name.  (@*&#$)(87#(*&

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Not to rain on your stupidity parade, because the way she worded it would have annoyed the p!ss out of me too, but she probably doesn't have a choice in her system. I know our benefits systems are ridiculously stupid and don't let you do exactly what you need to do most of the time. Other than the day to day stupidity I deal with at my job...I'll go with the idiot who was visiting my FILs with my FSIL and decided it would be a good idea to give FI's 9 year old nephew and 4 year old neice some wood and told them to go play with the flames in the fire pit. And then walked away to continue smoking and drinking her beer while the children are shoving flaming logs into the grass.

mouse10031978

yeah- that is f-ed up for her to suggest that to you.  Do you know is it just for like email purposes or something?  In that case I wouldn't care and you wouldn't have to change anything.  Is it for payroll?  Does it have to match your ID exactly? I am just trying to think of ways to make it easier for you.

pumpkinpumpkin

What type of blatant stupidity have you had to deal with this week?A friend's girlfriend - who is in her last year of school to be a teacher...had this on her FB status yesterday, "going camping, no madder what!" WTF? The more idiots I see becoming teachers makes me want to homeschool my unborn children.

SwedishChick2011

That's really dumb that she can't figure it out.  A lot of people have two middle names anyway. 

raynes

What the hell do they do for people with 2 middle names??"Oh, most people only have one middle name, so I'm just going to pick the one I like better, and leave the other one out.  Okay?"

vallyhoo

I love that you you typed 'No you stupid cow' - sounds very Gordon Ramsay-ish.I've had to deal with my own blatant stupidity this week, which is rare.

tlv204

Nevermind, reading fail   So what does your license say?

Moneypenny424

This woman is an idiot.  The maiden name isn't your last name anymore.  A lot of things wouldn't let me have two middle names either, including my driver's license.  I use my maiden name as my middle name when I can only have one, but my SS card has two middle names on it.

salt78

[i]They changed your middle name to your maiden name at the license bureau?!?!?!?[/i] They better not give me any crap as this is what I'm doing also.

zippityb

It doesn't matter if your benefit cards don't match everything else perfectly. I used to date a guy who had 2 middle names because that is Danish custom. His first middle name was usually the only one used on some documents. The HR lady is dumb.

Pirata13

Well I'm pretty pi$$ed at FI right now because of similar issues. He moved back to PA from VA almost 2 years ago. Never got a PA license or ID. His VA one is expired.  But to get a new PA one he needs to present his SS card. Which he is not sure where it is. To get a new SS card, you need a "recently issued" ID or Driver's License.  So I doubt his 2 year expired ID card will be feasible. So he either needs to find his SS card or beg and plead in person at the SS office explaining that he needs the SS card in order to get a new license, not to mention that we will need those things for marriage license etc. next year. Plus no passports or birth certificates unless he has a valid ID/license.  So I have spent half my morning researching all of this and getting more frustrated as the morning goes on, not to mention just being miffed at FI's procrastination and the aftermath. All he had to was get a new state ID--not even a license--right away, which costs what? $36 And all of this could have been avoided. Sorry, thanks for letting me vent. And yeah that benefits lady is stupid. She needs to figure out how to do it the way you need it done. It can't be that hard or impossible.

tlv204

Salt--I'm pretty sure it's just a Missouri problem.  I posted about when I was dealing with it and the only people who had the same issue were MO people.  It was a pain.

lpstl

Yeah tlv, I was going back and forth on telling you that one. Maybe it was easy for me because I didn't drop my middle name, but just added to it?I'm sure she could put maiden married for my last name, but then on any forms where the name is separated (like insurance claims) my last name will be different than it is on all my other records. No, this isn't just for email, it's for payroll, 401k, life/health/dental/vision insurance, etc.

Moneypenny424

That definitely is not an MO only problem.  It happens in Massachusetts too.  And I assume we're not the only two states.

tlv204

It's ridiculous.  Why in general are people not understanding of new name situations?? Not everyone does the same thing.Penny-On your marriage license, is there a spot where you wrote your name after marriage?  On ours there isn't, they just assume it's going to be First Middle Married for everyone.  I'm just wondering if that's the reason behind not being able to change middle names at the license bureau since they don't have proof that it's "OK"?   I know when I posted about it before, several people said there was a pot for that on the marriage license so they got to pick how they wanted it.

Soon-to-be Mrs. Vogt

Is it super important to you to have both middle names on your benefits info and claim form? If you get it close (or just use middle initials), most companies will accept it (especially when they are the ones who set up the parameters for the info entry). We have an employee named Mary Pat Smith (we'll say). Her legal first name is Mary. Legal middle name is Patrice. She goes by Mary Pat though. Our system won't let us enter her as anything other than Mary (first) Patrice (middle). The only time it even shows up is on her benefits card and on her paycheck. Benefits/payroll entry systems aren't equiped to deal with every possible name combo. It stinks, but it's probably not the end of the world Now, her thinking that your maiden name was part of your last name - that's assinine.

Moneypenny424

Tlv--yes, our marriage licenses have a space to list your name after marriage.  Have you already dealt with SS?  I do not think a DMV will change your middle name without you having changed your name at SS.  The marriage license is not a name change document--it is what you have to bring to SS to get your name legally changed.  Once you've filled out those forms and had it processed by SS, it is your new name and the DMV has to change it.

tidetravel

Salt - MD MVA shouldn't give you any trouble - that's what I did.

tlv204

Yeah actually I did the SS first, and had no problems at all. It took 5 minutes, name changed to First Maiden Married.  I waited until I got that in the mail and took it to the DMV, but they told me that wasn't good enough to change my middle name, which they couldn't legally do with just that info, and needed either a passport or a court order. I chose the passport.

Moneypenny424

I waited until I got that in the mail and took it to the DMV, but they told me that wasn't good enough to change my middle name, which they couldn't legally do with just that info, and needed either a passport or a court order. I chose the passport. Yeah, they are completely wrong!  I'm sorry you're dealing with this.

lpstl

Oh yeah, I let her know if this was impossible to do to just drop my maiden all together, I understand some systems aren't very flexible. It was suggesting that I'm doing it wrong that made me want to kick her.

tlv204

Yeah it was a pain, but it's all done now! I'm officially First Maiden Married now everywhere.  Apparently I'm not the only one to deal with this though, I know at least 3 people who go by First Maiden Married everywhere BUT their drivers license, since the DMV here sucks monkey balls, which says First Middle Married.

egeiger

Agree that she was a moron. Can you just use first name and last name (with no middle) for records? Those are for sure going to be correct, and then it eliminates confusion.

angiebear11

As I've mentioned before. I've been having this mold problem in my bedroom, so the maintenance people came to my house yesterday to take down the wall with the mold, clean the mold, fix the problem that was causing the mold to grow and then put a new wall back up. Well the stupid asssholes didn't know what they were doing. They took down the wall, left the mold there and then said they can't do anything for another three weeks.... expecting me to just live with an exposed wall with mold on it. Later while closely inspecting the room, I noticed there were staples and dents all along the wall and ceiling where they put the plastic up to cover my furniture, my TV is now broken and they knocked down my expensive Barbie collection (I collected them when I was a kid... these aren't the kind that you play with).Needless to say I'm furious.

Moneypenny424

What the...

Pirata13

Vogt--I keep looking at your puppy pic, trying to ease the mega-irritated mood I am in right now. Poor FI has no idea that when we talk at lunch, he's getting an earful.

lpstl

Holy shiit angie, you win. That's horrible