Wedding Etiquette Forum

Question - Open bar / Tipping the bartender

We're having a full open bar for our wedding. Gratuities are included in the cost of our package. I was planning to tip the staff at the end of the night in addition to the included gratuities.A few of our married friends said that I shouldn't tip the bartender because the guests will tip him when they get drinks. Is this right?Thanks :)

Re: Question - Open bar / Tipping the bartender

  • Yes, your friends will tip!
  • We paid an 18% service charge and some of this went to the bartender. We had a tip jar ::shudder:: and I never got a good look at how much was in it. Our venue had told us that the bartender typically averaged $2/guest in tips, so we tipped him $100 at the end, since I know our guests were tipping as well. Some guests will tip, others won't. If your friends are cheap like some of mine are, then they won't. Haha.
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  • i wouldn't tip if gratuties are already included...that seems obsessive...
  • duh! i mean excessive!
  • You should tip the bartenders in advance and instruct them not to accept gratuities from your guests.
  • If gratuities are included I wouldn't tip them unless they went above and beyond. They are already getting the 15% or whatever, and your guests will probably tip too. I think your bases are covered.
  • Your guests should not be responsible for tipping the bartenders.  Thats part of your duties.  Of course, some guests still will because they just believe in that sort of thing, but it's not their responsibility.  The theory is that guests should not have to open their wallets for anything at a wedding, and "anything" includes the tip.  Let them know you will be taking care of them at the end of the night and ban having a tip jar because that looks tacky as sh*t. 

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    "Whatever East. You're just mad I RSVP'd "lame" to your pre-wedding sleepover."
  • Back in my bartending days, when there was open bar at an event, people typically didn't tip.  I wouldn't count on it.  You'd maybe get $10 during a 4 hour event.  There's probably 18% included.  If they do a good job, tip the extra 2% or so at the end of the night. 
  • Honestly, I was a more than a little surprised when our friends said that the guests would tip. It just seemed odd to me.Thanks again
  • I'm not a tip jar fan.  So we tipped the bartenders ourselves.  I know some of our guests still tipped them (well I assume since a lot of us are in the business).  But it did not bother me.   With our guests I know that worked their a$$es off.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • The tip is usually included in the contract. You should tip on top of it if they did an exceptional job. There should never be a tip jar present.
  • Yeah, I've been to a couple of weddings this summer where I know they were paying gratuities on top of the bill, but the bartenders still put a tip jar out.  I think that looks really tacky...it's like they're asking for tips, and I think people feel more obligated to put something in it.  So, I'm going to make sure there's no tip jar at my wedding!  18% gratuity is included in the bill, and if the service is above and beyond we might consider increasing it, but the guests shouldn't have to pay that.
  • We have a 21% service charge on our contract.....I don't see why you need to tip on top of that.
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