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Etiquette

Lost marriage license, HELP!

Ok, just got married last night and the marriage license was accidentally thrown out. Leaving on honeymoon out of the country first thing tomorrow morning. What do we do??? Can they reissue one a week later? (When we're back in Chicago) Maybe it is because I have had no sleep, but I am totally panicking right now. Please tell me there is a way to solve this problem. Thanks so much!
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Re: Lost marriage license, HELP!

  • doesn't your officiant have it? 
  • I'm also wondering why your officiant doesn't have it.  Aren't they the ones who are supposed to send them in?
  • It may be different in your state, but I dont think we need our license after the officiant sends in his portion. I think they just send our certificate to us later.
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  • If you are 100% sure it is in the trash ... call the court house. The officiant will most likely need to sign again. (So you may have to do a mini redo- but it depends just call)

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  • Lex.Lex. member
    First Comment
    No, our officiant is our friend, we never filled it out. I thought we'd just do it today. I had it in a bag in the dressing room/caterer's supply room and all my stuff fell out. At the end of the night I gathered everything up (I thought) so I didn't realize until just now that the license is no longer in it.
  • .....
    Oh no we dropped the groom!! imagePlanning Bio UPDATED
  • No, our officiant is our friend, we never filled it out.It still needs to be filled out regardless of who the officiant is.  Without the license, the court can't recognize you as legally married.  You definitely need to call your county office first thing tomorrow.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

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  • Why wouldn;t you have filled it out yesterday? Regardless of the fact that the officiant is your friend...
  • Lex.Lex. member
    First Comment
    But is it a time sensitive thing? I mean, since they have our info on the books is it possible to reissue one easily? Like I said, we just had a friend marry us, so it wouldn't be a big deal to get him to sign a new one, I just don't know if we can even get a new one. This must happen to other people, right? Arg.
  • Why did you not sign it after the ceremony? This is all so random. Call the courthouse tomorrow, I'm sure all you need to do is pay for a new one, sign it (RIGHT THEN), and file.
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  • But is it a time sensitive thing? I mean, since they have our info on the books is it possible to reissue one easily? Like I said, we just had a friend marry us, so it wouldn't be a big deal to get him to sign a new one, I just don't know if we can even get a new one.These are questions only the county/court can answer.  And no, it doesn't happen to everyone.
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
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  • correction: other people (not everyone) meaning, it's not common
    The Bee Hive Est. June 30, 2007
    "So I sing a song of love, Julia"
    06.10.10

    BFAR:We Defined Our Own Success!
    image

  • If you don't do it ASAP your legal marriage date will change. It is very time sensitive, usually. (but call to confirm)

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  • NebbNebb member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Why the hell wouldnt you sign it during the ceremony, to save 2 minutes? Why?
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  • Lex.Lex. member
    First Comment
    We didn't sign it after the ceremony because we forgot, it was a very laid back event, I had the certificate, and I just got distracted from bringing it out to have our friend sign. Not his fault, he'd never married anyone before. If we are able to get a new one, of course we will fill it out and send it IMMEDIATELY, it's just a stupid thing that happened because we were having too much fun to take care of the crucial document.
  • Nope, doesn't happen often. FMIL did accidently leave the license at the hotel but we ran back and got it...and then, she had it signed right afterwards
  • Yeah, I'd call the courthouse. Even if you can't call first thing in the morning since you're leaving on the honeymoon, call when you get to wherever it is you're going. Your legal marriage date will change to whenever all 3 of you can sign it again.

  • Lex.Lex. member
    First Comment
    Ok, well, thanks to those who offered advice, I am going to continue to call the venue on the off-chance that it is still there, otherwise it looks like we will have to try to get another one when we are back in town.
  • If you can't call the courthouse yourself, can you have a family member do it? They might be able to reissue the old one and you guys just sign it. And ask about post-dating it, too.

  • How can you have such a laid back oh well attitude about this? You're not legally married right now because it isn't signed.  If I was going away, I would still take the clerk's office number and call the second they open tomorrow. 
  • I'd keep calling the venue to make sure they don't have it on hand. If not, call your county clerk and find out how to handle it. But I don't think it's catastrphic either way. I'm sure it's fixable. Either way, I'm sure you'll get your license -- I imagine the worst that can happen is the anniversary date on your license won't be the day you actually got married. In 20 years, it will be a story to tell (and you can confuse the hell out of any kids after you're gone who find the license and wonder why you didn't celebrate your "real" anniversary for all those years). To the PP who wondered why it wasn't signed during the ceremony -- I've NEVER seen a license signed during the actual ceremony. It's typically done afterwards. And my ex- and I almost forgot to sign ours too -- we also had friends officiate and it was the very last thing we did before we left our reception so I can definitely see how that could happen.
  • We're having my brother "officiate" our self uniting ceremony. We have a document that my brother, a witness and Fi and I have to sign and mail back within 10 DAYS of the ceremony...I'm guessing time is an issue with this for most areas. I'd be really fraking out if this were to happen to us!!
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  • We are signing ours during the ceremony. Certain religions also take time to sign official documents (ie jewish ceremony and the ketubah). It takes all of 5 minutes, but also makes for nice pictures in capturing that moment.
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  • Ours had to be back at the courthouse within 5 days of the wedding date, which was determined when we picked up the license the first time.Honestly, you need to get this fixed now, not a week later, in case it is time sensitive.
  • It's an important document to sign, kind of the entire point of the day. It's also something that takes about 2 seconds to do after the ceremony or before you leave.Technically they aren't married, and may have some fun legal jumbo when they get back to sort out.
  • I was just in the wedding of a strict Jewish bride and it was signed after the ceremony....I think people are trying to help this newlywed understand that it's sorta a big deal...ya know, the point of the ENTIRE DAY. Without this document, she's not a newlywed.
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  • I thought everyone signed it immediately following the ceremony...? Why wouldn't you? It's what makes the whole thing legal.
  • The ketubah is signed by two witnesses and traditionally read out under the chuppah. Close family friends or distant relatives are invited to witness the ketubah, which is considered an honour. The witnesses must be halakhically competent witnesses, but cannot be a close blood relative of the couple. The ketubah is handed to the bride for safekeeping.--from wikipedia
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  • Right. But lambasting her about what she could have, should have, would have done doesn't help the situation ONE BIT. The question is what does she do now. And besides contacting the county clerk's office, none of us know. My guess is it isn't going to be the huge fucking deal that some people are making it out to be. There's got to be some way to fix it. Worst case scenario their piece of paper will have a different date than their actual wedding.
  • Dixie, are you Jewish? Because you don't really sound like you know what you're talking about. Read the Wikipedia entry again -- it says it's "read out" under the chuppah; doesn't say a thing about when it's signed. I promise you: traditionally it's signed before the ceremony, though of course there are exceptions. Do a little more googling.
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